8. Children Dying

8. Children Dying

Chapter 80. The excellence of someone whose child has died

143. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “No Muslim who has had three of his children die young will enter the Fire, except to expiate an unfulfilled oath.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Imam al-Baghawee (الله رحمه (explained the expression, illā Tahillat al-Qasam (Save to expiate the oath), he said, “that is, except the degree by which Allah would have expiated His oath; and that is His saying: ‘Not one of you but will pass over it’ (Q 19:71). So when he passes over it and crosses it, He has kept His oath.” The hadeeth shows the excellence of patiently bearing trials such as the loss one’s children: It is a means of expiation of sins, elevation of one’s rank before Allah and protection from the Fire.

144. Abu Hurayra reported that a woman came to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, with a child. She said, “Make supplication for him. I have buried three children.” He said, “You have built a strong barrier against the Fire.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden.

145. Khalid al-‘Absi said, “A son of mine died and I felt intense grief over his loss. I said, ‘Abu Hurayra, have you heard anything from the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, to cheer us regarding our dead?’ He replied, ‘I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Your children are roaming freely in the Garden.”‘”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Da’aamees (sing. Da’moos) are some kind of tiny organisms ever found in marshes. It also refers to one who is always engaged in issues. So, the children are ever found in the Garden, moving freely in its quarters without any hinderance. In the wording of Muslim, Abū Hurayra added: “They will meet their parents, hold their hand or their clothes as I am holding your clothes, and they will not leave their hands till Allah will enter them in the Garden along with their parents.”
146.Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘If anyone has three of his children die young and resigns them to Allah, he will enter the Garden.’ We said, ‘Messenger of Allah, what about two?’ ‘And two,’ he said.” Mahmud ibn Labid said to Jabir, “By Allah, I think that if you had asked, ‘And one?’ he would have given a similar answer.” He said, “By Allah, I think so too.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: Imam al-Baghawee (الله رحمه (explained the expression, illā Tahillat al-Qasam (Save to expiate the oath), he said, “that is, except the degree by which Allah would have expiated His oath; and that is His saying: ‘Not one of you but will pass over it’ (Q 19:71). So when he passes over it and crosses it, He has kept His oath.” The hadeeth shows the excellence of patiently bearing trials such as the loss one’s children: It is a means of expiation of sins, elevation of one’s rank before Allah and protection from the Fire. The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden.

147. same as 144, different isnad.
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden

148. Abu Hurayra reported, “A woman came to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, ‘Messenger of Allah! We cannot come to sit with you, so set aside a day when we can come.’ He said, ‘Your appointed place is the house of so-and-so.’ He came to the women at that time. Part of what he said to them was, ‘There is no woman among you who has three children die, resigning them to Allah, who will not enter the Garden.’ A woman said, ‘And if it is two?’ He replied, ‘And if it is two.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: It points to the fact that the female companions (radiya Allahu anhunna) took part in the matters of learning as well; they asked the Messengerﷺ what they did not understand, and he even gave them a day when he addressed them. Imam al-Baghawee (الله رحمه (explained the expression, illā Tahillat al-Qasam (Save to expiate the oath), he said, “that is, except the degree by which Allah would have expiated His oath; and that is His saying: ‘Not one of you but will pass over it’ (Q 19:71). So when he passes over it and crosses it, He has kept His oath.” The hadeeth shows the excellence of patiently bearing trials such as the loss one’s children: It is a means of expiation of sins, elevation of one’s rank before Allah and protection from the Fire. The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden.

149. Umm Salim said, “While I was with the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, he said, ‘Umm Salim! There is no Muslim couple who have three of their children die without Allah admitting them to the Garden by virtue of His mercy to them.’ I said, ‘And if there are two?’ He said, ‘And if there are two.'”Grade:
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

150. Al-Hasan reported that Sa’sa’a ibn Mu’awiya told him that he met Abu Dharr finding him alone without any relatives and asked, “Don’t you have any children, Abu Dharr?” He said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘There is no Muslim who has three of his children die before they reach puberty without Allah admitting him to the Garden by virtue of His mercy to them. There is no man who frees a Muslim with Allah Almighty making each of the limbs of the one who is freed a ransom for each of the emancipator’s limbs.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

151. Anas ibn Malik reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “If someone has three children die before they reach puberty, Allah will admit him and them to the Garden by virtue of His mercy.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The fact that these narrations about the reward for parents’ forebearance and hope in Allah’s reward at the death of their children have been reported by many companions indicates that it was something the Messengerﷺ frequently mentioned and was commonly known among his companions (y).

Chapter 81. Someone whose miscarried child dies

152. Sahl ibn al-Hanzala, who had no children, said, “I would prefer to have a miscarried child while I am a Muslim and resign that child to Allah than to have the entire world and what it contains.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

153.’Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Which of you prefers the money of heirs to his own money?” “Messenger of Allah,” they replied, “there is none of us who does not prefer his own wealth to that of his heirs.” The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Know that there is not one of you who does not prefer his heirs’ money to his own. Your wealth is what you have spent (for Allah) and the wealth of your heirs is what you leave.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Everyone is said to prefer his heirs’ money since man basically likes to keep his wealth. Nevertheless, what really belongs to us is that which we owned before our death and at death because we expended them in the way of Allah the Most High. As for what we keep with us and finally leave behind at death, they are most apprioprately attributed to our hiers. It seems this hadeeth is mentioned in this chapter to show that patiently bearing a miscarriage is better than the one you still have. Allah knows best. See the hadeeth that follows and its comment.

154. He said that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Who do you reckon to be the childless among you?” They said, “They are those who do not have any children.” No,” he said, “The childless are those who have not sent any of their children ahead (i.e. none of their children have died).”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth consoles the person whose children have died, yet he remains patient and hopes for reward from Allah. As for the one none of whose child has died, he does not get the reward that the one who patiently bears such loss gets in the Hereafter.

155. He reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Who do you reckon to be the one who most often throws people down (in a fight)?” They replied, “The one whom men do not throw down.” He said, “No the one who throws people down is the person who controls himself when he is angry.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: It seems that Imām al-Bukhārī brought this hadīth in this chapter because it has the same source with the preceeding narrations or to demonstrate that strength is in controlling one’s anger, as well as sadness.