22. Separation

22. Separation

chapter 188. Separating oneself from people

397. ‘Awf ibn al-Harith ibn at-Tufayl, the nephew of ‘A’isha, reported that ‘A’isha was told that ‘Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr had said about something which ‘A’isha was selling or giving away as a gift, “By Allah, if she does not stop, I will debar her from disposing of her property!” She asked, “Is that truly so?” “Yes,” they replied. ‘A’isha exclaimed, “I vow to Allah that I will never again speak a single word to Ibn az-Zubayr!” Ibn az-Zubayr sought intercession through the Muhajirun with her when she had kept apart from him for a long a time. She stated, “By Allah, I will not let anyone intercede for him, and I will never break the vow which I have made!” After that had been going on for a long time, Ibn az-Zubayr spoke to al-Miswar ibn Makhrama and ‘Abdu’r-Rahman ibn al-Aswad ibn Yaghuth who were from the Banu Zuhra. He told them, “I ask you by Allah to got to ‘A’isha, for it is not lawful for her to vow to cut me off.” Al-Miswar and ‘Abdu’r- Rahman took him along with their cloaks wrapped around him and asked ‘A’isha’s permission to enter and visit her. They said, “Peace be upon Allah and the mercy of Allah and His blessings! May we come in?” “Come in,” ‘A’isha replied. They asked, “All of us, Umm al-Mu’minin?” “Yes,” she answered, “you can all come in,” not realising that Ibn az-Zubayr was with them. When they came in, Ibn az-Zubayr went into the screened-off section and embraced ‘A’isha and began to pleased with her in tears. Then al-Miswar and ‘Abdu’r-Rahman began to plead with ‘A’isha to speak to him and accept him. They said, “You know that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, forbade cutting people off, as you know, and you know that it is not lawful for a Muslim to refuse to speak to his brother for more than three nights.” They continued to remind her and make things difficult for her until she began to remind them (of her vow) and weep, saying, “I have made a vow, and the vow is strong.” They kept at her until she spoke to Ibn az-Zubayr. Then she freed 40 slaves to atone for breaking her vow. After that whenever she remembered her vow, she would free forty slaves, and she wept until her tears made her veil wet.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth contains tremendous benefits including: 1. The importance of confirming a report before acting based on it. 2. It is the duty of Muslims to sort out relations between themselves and even seek the intervention of respected persons in the resolution of such disputes. 3. The need to seek permission of the people in a residence before entering inside it. 4. Women should be spoken to by those who are not their Mahaarim from behind the screens. 5.Those who intervene in a dispute between parties should implore the parties with good admonition depending largely upon the texts of the Qur’aan and the Sunnah. 6. One should persist upon good deeds. The persistence of Ibn Zubayr, and al-Miswar and ‘Abdu’r-Rahmān is noteworthy. 7. It is not permissible to cut off a Muslim for more than three days. 8. Weeping out of fear of Allah, self examination, sincere repentance is encouraged. 9. We should take oaths seriously and atone for them when we fail to fulfill them. In a wording of the hadeeth, it said, “…and Abdullah bin Zubayr was the most beloved person to Aa’isha after the Prophetﷺ and Abu Bakr ; and he was most dutiful to her.” In another wording of the hadeeth, the complain of Ibn Zubayr (عنهام الله ريض (was about, “…a house belonging to her (Aa’isha) which she sold…”

chapter 189. Separating oneself from Muslims

398. Anas ibn Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Do not hate one another nor envy one another nor shun one another. Slaves of Allah, be brothers! It is not lawful for a Muslim to refuse to speak to his brother (Muslim) for more than three nights.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Islam prohibits these things since they incite disharmony in the community. As regards separating from a Muslim, Imam an-Nawawee (الله رحمه (said, “It is forbidden that Muslims separate from themselves for more than three days textually; but it is permissible for three days connotatively. He is only pardoned for those three days because man innately gets angry; so he is not held responsible for the period so that he could reconsider the case and calm the anger.”

399. Abu Ayyub, the Companion of the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “It is not lawful for anyone to cut himself off from his Muslim brother for more than three nights so that when they meet, one of them turns his face away in avoidance and the other one turns his face away as well. The better of them is the one who initiates the greeting.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

400.Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Do not hate one another nor contend with one another. Slaves of Allah, be brothers.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

401.Anas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Two people do not love each other in Allah Almighty or in Islam if the first wrong action that one of them does creates a split between them.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth shows one of the evil manifestations of sin committed by a person or a group of people: it leads to mutual hatred. Conversely, good deeds bring about mutual love and understanding amongst people.

402. Hisham ibn ‘Amir al-Ansari, the nephew of Anas ibn Malik whose father was killed in the Battle of Uhud, that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to snub another Muslim for more than three nights. As long as they are cut off from each other, they are turning away from the Truth. The first of them to return to a proper state has his expiation for that inasmuch as he was the first to return to a proper state. if they die while they are cut off from each other, neither of them will ever enter the Garden. If one of them greets the other and he refuses to return the greeting or accept his greeting, then an angel returns the greeting to him and Shaytan answers the other.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: They would both be turning away from the Truth if they had cut off from each other merely for a worldly reason or Hawa (desire). However, if they had cut off for the sake of Allah, then it may be permissible or even encouraged or obligatory based on the condition. The death of any one of them both while they are still cut off (for worldly reasons or mere desire) from each other indicates that they will be meeting Allah the Mighty and Exalted, not having repented from that failing, thereby exposing themselves to nonentrance of the Paradise. The hadeeth is evidence that to extend the greeting of salam and responding to it is sufficient to end such break in relations.

403.’A’isha mentioned that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, told her, “I can see you when you are angry or pleased.” She asked, “How do you see that, Messenger of Allah?” He replied, “When you are pleased, you say, ‘Yes, by the Lord of Muhammad.’ But when you are angry, you say, ‘No, by the Lord of Ibrahim.'” She said that she replied, “Yes, I only cut out your name.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Hafidh Ibn Hajar al-Asqalaanee explains, “Imam al-Bukhaari’s placement of this hadeeth under this chapter is to indicate the permissible form of cutting off, and that cutting off is in different forms depending on the reason for it. When it has to do with sin, they (i.e. the persons who commit such sins) deserve been cut off by not speaking to them as in the story of Ka’b and his two companions. As for that resulting from some mutual disagreement between members of a household or brothers, it would be permissible (based on this hadeeth) to leave out calling the person’s name, for example, or not showing friendly looks while not leaving to extend the greetings of salam and speech (with the person).” A’isha’s anger may result from matters of feelings of jealousy amongst the women in the household. Even at that, sincere love and great honor for the Prophetﷺ are deep-rooted in her heart such that she would only leave out his name while angry.

chapter 190. A person who cuts himself off from his brother for a year

404. Abu Khirash al-Aslami reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Whoever snubs his brother for a year has split his blood.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

405. ‘Imran ibn Abi Anas reported from a man of Aslam who was one of the Companions of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Snubbing a believer for a year is like spilling his blood.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Snubbing the Muslim is likened to spilling his blood from the angle that as spilling his blood, snubbing him is a sin and it brings about Allah’s anger. It shows that, taking the life of a Muslim is one of the worst sins anyone would commit. We seek refuge with Allah.

chapter 191. Those who refuse to speak to one another

406. Abu Ayyub al-Ansari reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to refuse to speak to his (Muslim) brother for more than three days so that when they meet, one goes this way and the goes that way. The better of the two is the one who initiates the greeting.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

407. Hisham ibn ‘Amir heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “It is not lawful for a Muslim to snub another Muslim for more than three nights. As long as they are cut off from each other, they are turning away from the Truth. The first of them to return to a proper state has his expiation for that inasmuch as he was the first to return to a proper state. If they die while they are cut off from one another, neither of them will ever enter the Garden.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: They would both be turning away from the Truth if they had cut off from each other merely for a worldly reason or Hawa (desire). However, if they had cut off for the sake of Allah, then it may be permissible or even encouraged or obligatory based on the condition. The death of any one of them both while they are still cut off (for worldly reasons or mere desire) from each other indicates that they will be meeting Allah the Mighty and Exalted, not having repented from that failing, thereby exposing themselves to nonentrance of the Paradise. The hadeeth is evidence that to extend the greeting of salam and responding to it is sufficient to end such break in relations.

chapter 192. Generosity

408. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Do not hate one another and do not envy one another. Let the slaves of Allah be brothers.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Islam prohibits these things since they incite disharmony in the community. As regards separating from a Muslim, Imam an-Nawawee (الله رحمه (said, “It is forbidden that Muslims separate from themselves for more than three days textually; but it is permissible for three days connotatively. He is only pardoned for those three days because man innately gets angry; so he is not held responsible for the period so that he could reconsider the case and calm the anger.”

409. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “You will find that the worst of people in the sight of Allah on the Day of Rising will be the two-faced person who presents one face to a group of people and another face to a different group of people.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The text shows the status of such persons in the sight of Allah the Mighty and Exalted. Worst still, the double-faced is also never loved by the two groups of people to whom he shows different faces. When he is with those whom he dislikes, he amends his words and actions to suit the situation, and when he returns to his true associates he is something else. So for him, words are ever changing depending on the situation. How can such be trustworthy?!

410. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Beware of opinion. Opinion is the most lying form of speech. Do not try to ensnare one another (in sales) nor envy one another nor hate one another nor shun one another. Rather be the slaves of Allah and brothers.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth prohibits bringing unfounded accusations against people such as a person who accuses another of illicit sexual relations based on mere feeling that such is true! This is more of falsehood than making an untrue statement. As such, the word, adh-Dhann was repeated to describe its graveness. An-Najsh occurs by a person’s increment of the price of a commodity not for his interest in it, but to deceive others whether in connivance with the seller or not.

411. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The gates of the Garden are opened on Mondays and Thursdays. Every person who does not associate anything with Allah is forgiven except for someone who has enmity between existing between him and another man. It is said, ‘Leave these two until they make peace.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The opening of the gates of the Paradise is followed with the descent of favors and mercy from the Most-Merciful; thus, the hadeeth follows with the fact that everyone who does not join partners with Allah is forgiven on such days. The hadeeth indicates the excellence of affirming Allah’s oneness (Tawheed) and the bad consequences of Shirk (joining partners with Him the Mighty and Exalted). From the benefits in the narration also is that mutual hatred between persons prevents them from been forgiven and granted favors.

412. Abu’d-Darda’ said, “Shall I tell you about something better for you than sadaqa and fasting? Improving the state of friendship. Hatred is what shaves things away.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: See comment on hadeeth no. 391. The hadeeth is cited under this chapter, even when it basically mentioned Bigdah (discord), because discord leads to hatred

413. Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Three things are not concealed and He forgives everything else to whomever He wills: the one who dies and has not associated anything with Allah, the one who was not a sorcerer nor a follower of the sorcerers, and the one who did not have rancour towards his brother.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

chapter 193. The salam makes up for shunning

414. Abu Hurayra reported that he heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “It is not lawful for a Muslim man to refuse to speak to a believer for more than three days. When three days have passed, he should meet him and greet him. If he returns the greeting, they share in the reward. If he does not return the greeting, the one who gives the greeting is innocent of having severed relations.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)