21. Social Behaviour

21. Social Behaviour

chapter 179. Relating good things between people

385. Umm Kulthum, the daughter of ‘Uqba ibn Abi Mu’ayt, reported that she heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Someone who makes peace between people by saying something good or relates something good is not a liar.” She said, “I did not hear him make an allowance for any lie that people utilise except in three cases: making peace between people, a man speaking to his wife, and a woman speaking to her husband.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth evinces the prohibition of lying. That lying is allowed in the situations mentioned in the narration shows the importance of harmonious coexistence among spouses and in the community as a whole. In a wording of an authentically related narration, it says, “…or lying during war…” Collected by Ahmad and at-Tirmidhee. See: Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah (545).

chapter 180. A liar is not behaving correctly

386.’Abdullah reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “You must be truthful. Truthfulness leads to dutifulness and dutifulness leads to the Garden. A man continues to tell the truth until he is written as a siddiq with Allah. Beware of lying. Lying leads to deviance and deviance leads to the Fire. A man continues to lie until he is written as a liar with Allah.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: As regards the word, al-Birr translated as dutifulness, Hafidh Ibn Hajar al-’Asqalaanee (الله رحمه (said, “Basically, it is being extensive in doing good deeds; it is a word that is employed for all good deeds but particularly used for a continous pure deed.” So, truthfulness leads to deeds that are free from fault and continous, upon which the person dies. May Allah grant us this out of His favor and mercy. He is written as a Siddeeq refers to truthfulness becoming from his innate disposition as lying becomes from the instinctive disposition of the one who lies until he is written with Allah as a liar. This hadeeth clearly warns against lying.

387.’Abdullah said, “Lying is not correct, neither in seriousness nor in seriousness nor in jest. None of you should promise his child something and then not give it to him.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This narration warns against lying even during jests. Rightly, jokes are permissible as mentioned earlier, but they must not include lies. The Prophetﷺ in an uthentic hadeeth said, “Woe to the one who talks and lies to make the people laugh. Woe to him, woe to him.” Collected by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhee and others. Quite badly, making promises to children without fulfilling it is from the clear aspects of lying that many discount.

chapter 181. Someone who is patient when people injure him

388. Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The believer who mixes with people and endures their injury is better than the person who does not mix with people nor endure their injury.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Apparently, the hadeeth is proof that mixing with the people is better than secluding oneself from them. But if mixing with them weakens him and preoccupies from Allah, then leaving them and only mixing with them to the extent of preserving himself from harm is certainly better.

chapter 182. Enduring injury

389. Abu Musa reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “No one nothing is more patient in enduring an injury which he hears than Allah Almighty. They claim that He has a son, and yet He still cures them and provides for them.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Allah the Mighty and Exalted is Most Forbearing even unto the non-Muslim who ascribes a son to Him and even equals. He forbears even when He is Able to punish them – we seek Allah’s refuge from His punishment. Yet, He cures them and provides for them. This teaches restraint and endurance at insults from detractors and more so with those who are basically friends to us.

390.’Abdullah said, “The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, swore an oath like one of the oaths that people swear and a man of the Ansar said, ‘By Allah, it is not an oath by which the Face of Allah Almighty is desired.” I said, ‘I will tell the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. I went to him while he was with his Companions and I spoke to him in confidence. It clearly affected him greatly, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and his face changed colour so that I wished that I had not told him. Then he said, ‘Musa was injured with greater than that and he endured it.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: After the Battle of Hunayn, the Prophetﷺ allotted something and gave shares to some of the eminent people among the Arab tribes that some others considered huge. In one of the wordings of this hadeeth as collected by the author, al-Bukhaari, and Muslim in their Saheehs, heﷺ said, “I did that to draw them nearer…” Yet, the Prophetﷺ endured the insult patiently as did Musa – peace be upon him. Hafidh Ibn Hajar al- ’Asqalaanee (الله رحمه (said, “The hadeeth contains evidence that it is permissible to inform the leader and the eminent people about what is said about them which does not befit them so that they could caution the one who made such statement…” Such reporting, even when it involves that the one been reported would detest been mentioned, is neither from backbiting nor talebearing. The hadeeth shows also, the virtue of Musa – peace be upon him, and the permissibility of mentioning the virtues of the virtuos behind him or even after his death. The narration generally exhorts towards being forbearing and patient at injuries.

chapter 183. Improving a state of friendship

391. Abu’d-Darda’ reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Shall I tell you a degree better than prayer, fasting and sadaqa?” “Yes,” they replied. He went to say, Improving a state of friendship. Causing discord in a state of friendship is what shaves things away.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Promoting mutual harmony brings about uniting upon the rope of Allah as He the Mighty and Exalted orders, while discord thwarts efforts on mutual cooperation upon piety and general peace among the people. That the virtue of promoting unity among people is compared with those of Prayer, fasting and charity shows its significance.

392. Regarding the ayat, “Fear Allah and put things right between you,” (8:1), Ibn ‘Abbas said, “This is an injunction from Allah to the believers to fear Allah and to put things right between them.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Man is created to live and relate with others. Yet, people can only live together in a society when individuals recognize the rights of their Creator and those of the other members in the society, tolerate and amend the failings of one another with good words and nice character.

chapter 184. When you lie to a man and he believes you

393. Sufyan ibn Usayd al-Hadrami reported that he heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “It is great treachery to tell something to your brother so that he believes you when you are lying to him.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

chapter 185. Do not make a promise to your brother and then break it

394. Ibn ‘Abbas reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Do not dispute with your brother. Do not make dun of him. Do not make a promise to him and then break it.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

chapter 186. Attacking Lineage

395. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “There are two courses that my Community will not abandon: wailing and attacking a person’s lineage.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This is in spite of the fact these things are from the ways of the Days of Ignorance. What actually matters most is Allah’s consciousness and fear that a person has which motivates him to obey Allah’s orders and abstain from His prohibitions. Otherwise, “He who slackens in doing good deeds, his descent (lineage) will not make him go ahead”. (Muslim).

chapter 187. A man’s love for his people

396. A woman called Fusayla said that she heard her father say, “I asked, ‘Messenger of Allah, is it part of disobedience for a man to help his people in something which is unjust?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)