11. Care And Manners With Parents,wife,kids And Kinship

IN SAHIH BUKHARI

Sahih Bukhari >
Book 51: Wills and Testaments

Sahih Bukhari > Book 51 : Wills and Testaments
CHAPTER 1. AI-Wasâya (The wills and testaments).

4:1 Narrated by Abdullah bin Umar
Allah’s Apostle said, “It is not permissible for any Muslim who has something to will to stay for two nights without having his last will and testament written and kept ready with him.”

4:2 Narrated by Amr bin Al-Harith
(The brother of the wife of Allah’s Apostle. Juwaira bint Al-Harith) When Allah’s Apostle died, he did not leave any Dirham or Dinar (i.e. money), a slave or a slave woman or anything else except his white mule, his arms and a piece of land which he had given in charity.

4:3 Narrated by Talha bin Musarrif
I asked ‘Abdullah bin Abu Aufa “Did the Prophet make a will?” He replied, “No,” I asked him, “How is it then that the making of a will has been enjoined on people, (or that they are ordered to make a will)?” He replied, “The Prophet bequeathed Allah’s Book (i.e. Quran).”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 51 : Wills and Testaments
CHAPTER 3. Are children and women included under the term of relatives (concerning wills)?

4:16 Narrated by Abu Huraira
When Allah revealed the Verse: “Warn your nearest kinsmen,” Allah’s Apostle got up and said, “O people of Quraish (or said similar words)! Buy (i.e. save) yourselves (from the Hellfire) as I cannot save you from Allah’s Punishment; O Bani Abd Manaf! I cannot save you from Allah’s Punishment, O Safiya, the Aunt of Allah’s Apostle! I cannot save you from Allah’s Punishment; O Fatima bint Muhammad! Ask me anything from my wealth, but I cannot save you from Allah’s Punishment.”

Sahih Bukhari >
Book 64: Supporting Family

Sahih Bukhari > Book 64 : supporting Family
THE BOOK OF PROVISION (OUTLAY) AND THE SUPERIORITY OF PROVIDING FOR ONE’S FAMILY

7:263 Narrated by Abu Mas’ud Al-Ansari
The Prophet said, “When a Muslim spends something on his family intending to receive Allah’s reward it is regarded as Sadaqa for him.”

7:265 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet said, “The one who looks after a widow or a poor person is like a Mujahid (warrior) who fights for Allah’s Cause, or like him who performs prayers all the night and fasts all the day.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 64 : supporting Family
CHAPTER 1. To provide one’s family with food sufficient for one year in advance. And how one should spend on his dependants.

7:266 Narrated by Sad
The Prophet visited me at Mecca while I was ill. I said (to him), “I have property; May I bequeath all my property in Allah’s Cause?” He said, “No.” I said, “Half of it?” He said, “No.” I said, “One third of it?” He said, “One-third (is alright), yet it is still too much, for you’d better leave your inheritors wealthy than leave them poor, begging of others. Whatever you spend will be considered a Sadaqa for you, even the mouthful of food you put in the mouth of your wife. Anyhow Allah may let you recover, so that some people may benefit by you and others be harmed by you.”

7:268 Narrated by Abu Huraira
“The Prophet said, ‘The best alms is that which is given when one is rich, and a giving hand is better than a taking one, and you should start first to support your dependents.’ A wife says, ‘You should either provide me with food or divorce me.’ A slave says, ‘Give me food and enjoy my service.” A son says, “Give me food; to whom do you leave me?” The people said, “O Abu Huraira! Did you hear that from Allah’s Apostle ?” He said, “No, it is from my own self.”

7:269 Narrated by Abu Huraira|
Allah’s Apostle said, “The best alms is that which you give when you are rich, and you should start first to support your dependants.”

7:270 Narrated by ‘Umar
The Prophet used to sell the dates of the garden of Bani An-Nadir and store for his family so much food as would cover their needs for a whole year.

7:272 Narrated by ‘Aisha
Hind bint ‘Utba came and said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Abu Sufyan is a miser so is it sinful of me to feed our children from his property?” Allah’s Apostle said, “No except if you take for your needs what is just and reasonable. “

7:274 Narrated by Ali
Fatima went to the Prophet complaining about the bad effect of the stone hand-mill on her hand. She heard that the Prophet had received a few slave girls. But (when she came there) she did not find him, so she mentioned her problem to ‘Aisha. When the Prophet came, ‘Aisha informed him about that. ‘Ali added, “So the Prophet came to us when we had gone to bed. We wanted to get up (on his arrival) but he said, ‘Stay where you are.” Then he came and sat between me and her and I felt the coldness of his feet on my abdomen. He said, “Shall I direct you to something better than what you have requested? When you go to bed say ‘Subhan Allah’ thirty-three times, ‘Alhamdulillah’ thirty three times, and Allahu Akbar’ thirty four times, for that is better for you than a servant.”

7:276 Narrated by Al-Aswad bin Yazid
I asked ‘Aisha “What did the Prophet use to do at home?” She said, “He used to work for his family, and when he heard the Adhan (call for the prayer), he would go out.”

7:278 Narrated by Abu Huraira
Allah’s Apostle said, “The best women among the camel riders, are the women of Quraish.” (Another narrator said) The Prophet said, “The righteous among the women of Quraish are those who are kind to their young ones and who look after their husband’s property . “

7:280 Narrated by Jabir bin ‘Abdullah
My father died and left seven or nine girls and I married a matron. Allah’s Apostle said to me, “O Jabir! Have you married?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “A virgin or a matron?” I replied, “A matron.” he said, “Why not a virgin, so that you might play with her and she with you, and you might amuse her and she amuse you.” I said, ” ‘Abdullah (my father) died and left girls, and I dislike to marry a girl like them, so I married a lady (matron) so that she may look after them.” On that he said, “May Allah bless you,” or “That is good.”

7:281 Narrated by Abu Huraira
A man came to the Prophet and said, “I am ruined!” The Prophet said, “Why?” He said, “I had sexual intercourse with my wife while fasting (in the month of Ramadan).” The Prophet said to him, “Manumit a slave (as expiation).” He replied, “I cannot afford that.” The Prophet said, “Then fast for two successive months.” He said, “I cannot.” The Prophet said, “Then feed sixty poor persons.” He said, “I have nothing to do that.” In the meantime a basket full of dates was brought to the Prophet . He said, “Where is the questioner.” The man said, “I am here.” The Prophet said (to him), “Give this (basket of dates) in charity (as expiation).” He said, “O Allah’s Apostle! Shall I give it to poorer people than us? By Him Who sent you with the Truth, there is no family between Medina’s two mountains poorer than us.” The Prophet smiled till his pre-molar teeth became visible. He then said, “Then take it.”

7:284 Narrated by Abu Huraira
A dead man in debt used to be brought to Allah’s Apostle who would ask, “Has he left anything to re pay his debts?” If he was informed that he had left something to cover his debts the Prophet would offer the funeral prayer for him; otherwise he would say to the Muslims present there), “Offer the funeral prayer for your friend:”but when Allah helped the Prophet to gain victory (on his expeditions), he said, “I am closer to the Believers than themselves, so. if one of the Believers dies in debt, I will repay it, but if he leaves wealth, it will be for his heirs.

Sahih Bukhari >
Book 66: Sacrifice on Birth (Aqiqa)

Sahih Bukhari > Book 66 : Sacrifice on Birth (Aqiqa)
CHAPTER 1.The naming of a newly born child the day it is born.

7:376 Narrated by Abu Musa
A son was born to me and I took him to the Prophet who named him Ibrahim, did Tahnik for him with a date, invoked Allah to bless him and returned him to me. (The narrator added: That was Abu Musa’s eldest son.)

7:378 Narrated by Asma’ bint Abu Bakr
I conceived ‘Abdullah bin AzZubair at Mecca and went out (of Mecca) while I was about to give birth. I came to Medina and encamped at Quba’, and gave birth at Quba’. Then I brought the child to Allah’s Apostle and placed it (on his lap). He asked for a date, chewed it, and put his saliva in the mouth of the child. So the first thing to enter its stomach was the saliva of Allah’s Apostle. Then he did its Tahnik with a date, and invoked Allah to bless him. It was the first child born in the Islamic era, therefore they (Muslims) were very happy with its birth, for it had been said to them that the Jews had bewitched them, and so they would not produce any offspring.

7:379 Narrated by Anas bin Malik
Abu Talha had a child who was sick. Once, while Abu Talha was out, the child died. When Abu Talha returned home, he asked, “How does my son fare?” Um Salaim (his wife) replied, “He is quieter than he has ever been.” Then she brought supper for him and he took his supper and slept with her. When he had finished, she said (to him), “Bury the child (as he’s dead).” Next morning Abu Talha came to Allah’s Apostle and told him about that. The Prophet said (to him), “Did you sleep with your wife last night?” Abu Talha said, “Yes”. The Prophet said, “O Allah! Bestow your blessing on them as regards that night of theirs.” Um Sulaim gave birth to a boy. Abu Talha told me to take care of the child till it was taken to the Prophet. Then Abu Talha took the child to the Prophet and Um Sulaim sent some dates along with the child. The Prophet took the child (on his lap) and asked if there was something with him. The people replied, “Yes, a few dates.” The Prophet took a date, chewed it, took some of it out of his mouth, put it into the child’s mouth and did Tahnik for him with that, and named him ‘Abdullah.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 66 : Sacrifice on Birth (Aqiqa)
CHAPTER 2. To remove what harms the boy, when ‘Aqiqa is offered for him.

7:380 Narrated by Salman bin ‘Amir Ad-Dabbi
I heard Allah’s Apostle saying, “‘Aqiqa is to be offered for a (newly born) boy, so slaughter (an animal) for him, and relieve him of his suffering.” (Note: It has been quoted in Fateh-AL-Bari that the majority of the Religious Scholars agrees to the Hadith narrated in Sahih At-TlRMlZY that the Prophet was asked about Aqiqa and he ordered 2 sheep for a boy and one sheep for a girl and that is his tradition “SUNNA”.)

Sahih Bukhari > Book 66 : Sacrifice on Birth (Aqiqa)
CHAPTER 3. Al-Fara’.

7:382 Narrated by Abu Huraira
The Prophet said, “Neither Fara’ nor ‘Atira (is permissible):” Al-Fara’ nor ‘Atira (is permissible):” Al-Fara’ was the first offspring (of camels or sheep) which the pagans used to offer (as a sacrifice) to their idols. And Al-‘Atira was (a sheep which was to be slaughtered) during the month of Rajab.

Sahih Bukhari >
Book 73: Book Of Adab

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 1: Al-Birr and As-Sila

Narrated Al-Walid bin ‘Aizar:
I heard Abi `Amr ‘Ash-Shaibani saying, “The owner of this house.” he pointed to `Abdullah’s house, “said, ‘I asked the Prophet (ﷺ) ‘Which deed is loved most by Allah?” He replied, ‘To offer prayers at their early (very first) stated times.’ ” `Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “To be good and dutiful to one’s parents,” `Abdullah asked, “What is the next (in goodness)?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “To participate in Jihad for Allah’s Cause.” `Abdullah added, “The Prophet (ﷺ) narrated to me these three things, and if I had asked more, he would have told me more.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 3: One should not go for Jihad without the permission of the parents

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
A man said to the Prophet, “Shall I participate in Jihad?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Are your parents living?” The man said, “Yes.” the Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Do Jihad for their benefit.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 4: A man should not abuse his parents

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said. “It is one of the greatest sins that a man should curse his parents.” It was asked (by the people), “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! How does a man curse his parents?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “‘The man abuses the father of another man and the latter abuses the father of the former and abuses his mother.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 5: The invocation of the person who is dutiful to his parents if fulfilled

Narrated Ibn `Umar:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “While three persons were traveling, they were overtaken by rain and they took shelter in a cave in a mountain. A big rock fell from the mountain over the mouth of the cave and blocked it. They said to each other. ‘Think of such good (righteous) deeds which, you did for Allah’s sake only, and invoke Allah by giving reference to those deeds so that Allah may relieve you from your difficulty. one of them said, ‘O Allah! I had my parents who were very old and I had small children for whose sake I used to work as a shepherd. When I returned to them at night and milked (the sheep), I used to start giving the milk to my parents first before giving to my children. And one day I went far away in search of a grazing place (for my sheep), and didn’t return home till late at night and found that my parents had slept. I milked (my livestock) as usual and brought the milk vessel and stood at their heads, and I disliked to wake them up from their sleep, and I also disliked to give the milk to my children before my parents though my children were crying (from hunger) at my feet. So this state of mine and theirs continued till the day dawned. (O Allah!) If you considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure, then please let there be an opening through which we can see the sky.’ So Allah made for them an opening through which they could see the sky. Then the second person said, ‘O Allah! I had a she-cousin whom I loved as much as a passionate man love a woman. I tried to seduce her but she refused till I paid her one-hundred Dinars So I worked hard till I collected one hundred Dinars and went to her with that But when I sat in between her legs (to have sexual intercourse with her), she said, ‘O Allah’s slave! Be afraid of Allah ! Do not deflower me except legally (by marriage contract). So I left her O Allah! If you considered that I had done that only for seeking Your pleasure then please let the rock move a little to have a (wider) opening.’ So Allah shifted that rock to make the opening wider for them. And the last (third) person said ‘O Allah ! I employed a laborer for wages equal to a Faraq (a certain measure: of rice, and when he had finished his job he demanded his wages, but when I presented his due to him, he gave it up and refused to take it. Then I kept on sowing that rice for him (several times) till managed to buy with the price of the yield, some cows and their shepherd Later on the laborer came to me an said. ‘(O Allah’s slave!) Be afraid o Allah, and do not be unjust to me an give me my due.’ I said (to him). ‘Go and take those cows and their shepherd. So he took them and went away. (So, O Allah!) If You considered that I had done that for seeking Your pleasure, then please remove the remaining part of the rock.’ And so Allah released them (from their difficulty).

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 6: To be undutiful to parents is one of the greatest sins

Narrated Al-Mughira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Allah has forbidden you ( 1 ) to be undutiful to your mothers (2) to withhold (what you should give) or (3) demand (what you do not deserve), and (4) to bury your daughters alive. And Allah has disliked that (A) you talk too much about others ( B), ask too many questions (in religion), or (C) waste your property.”

Narrated Abu Bakra:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said thrice, “Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the great sins?” We said, “Yes, O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)” He said, “To join partners in worship with Allah: to be undutiful to one’s parents.” The Prophet (ﷺ) sat up after he had been reclining and added, “And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false witness; I warn you against giving a forged statement and a false witness.” The Prophet kept on saying that warning till we thought that he would not stop.

Narrated Anas bin Malik:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) mentioned the greatest sins or he was asked about the greatest sins. He said, “To join partners in worship with Allah; to kill a soul which Allah has forbidden to kill; and to be undutiful or unkind to one’s parents.” The Prophet (ﷺ) added, “Shall I inform you of the biggest of the great sins? That is the forged statement or the false witness.” Shu`ba (the sub-narrator) states that most probably the Prophet said, “the false witness

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 7: To be good to a father who is a Mushrik

Narrated Asma’ bint Abu Bakr:
My mother came to me, hoping (for my favor) during the lifetime of the Prophet. I asked the Prophet, “May I treat her kindly?” He replied, “Yes.” Ibn ‘Uyaina said, “Then Allah revealed: ‘Allah forbids you not with regards to those who fought not against you because of religion, and drove you not out from your homes, that you should show them kindness and deal justly with them.’…….(60.8)

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 8: Kindness by a lady who has a husband, to her mother

Narrated Asma’:
“My mother who was a Mushrikah (pagan, etc.), came with her father during the period of peace pact between the Muslims and the Quraish infidels. I went to seek the advice of the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, “My mother has arrived and she is hoping (for my favor).” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Yes, be good to your mother.”

Narrated Abu Sufyan:
That Heraclius sent for him and said, “What did he, i.e. the Prophet (ﷺ) order you?” I replied, “He orders us to offer prayers; to give alms; to be chaste; and to keep good relations with our relatives.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 9: To be good to one’s brother who is a Mushrik

Narrated Ibn `Umar:
My father, seeing a silken cloak being sold, said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! Buy this and wear it on Fridays and when the foreign delegates pay a visit to you.” He said, “This is worn only by that person who will have no share in the Hereafter.” Later a few silken cloaks were given to the Prophet (ﷺ) as a gift, and he sent one of those cloaks to `Umar. `Umar said (to the Prophet), “How can I wear it while you have said about it what you said?” The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “I did not give it to you to wear but to sell or to give to someone else to wear.” So `Umar sent it to his (pagan) brother who was from the inhabitants of Mecca before he (`Umar’s brother) embraced Islam.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 10: Superiority of good relations with relatives

Narrated Abu Ayyub Al-Ansari:
It was said” “O Allah’s Messenger! Inform me of a deed which will make me enter Paradise.” (continues through a different chain in the next hadith)

Narrated Abu Aiyub Al-Ansari:
A man said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! Inform me of a deed which will make me enter Paradise.” The people said, “What is the matter with him? What is the matter with him?” Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “He has something to ask (what he needs greatly).” The Prophet (ﷺ) said (to him), (In order to enter Paradise) you should worship Allah and join none in worship with Him: You should offer prayers perfectly, give obligatory charity (Zakat), and keep good relations with your Kith and kin.” He then said, “Leave it!” (The sub-narrator said, “It seems that the Prophet (ﷺ) was riding his she camel.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 11: The sin of Al-Qati’

Narrated Jubair bin Mut`im:
That he heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, “The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Paradise.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 12: Whoever was made wealthy because of keeping good relations with his kith and kin

Narrated Abu Huraira:
I heard Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) saying, “Who ever is pleased that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be pro longed, then he should keep good relations with his Kith and kin.”

Narrated Anas bin Malik:
Allah ‘s Apostle said, “Whoever loves that he be granted more wealth and that his lease of life be prolonged then he should keep good relations with his Kith and kin.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 13: Allah will keep good relations with him who keeps good relations with kith and kin

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Allah created the creations, and when He finished from His creations, Ar-Rahm i.e., womb said, “(O Allah) at this place I seek refuge with You from all those who sever me (i.e. sever the ties of Kith and kin). Allah said, ‘Yes, won’t you be pleased that I will keep good relations with the one who will keep good relations with you, and I will sever the relation with the one who will sever the relations with you.’ It said, ‘Yes, O my Lord.’ Allah said, ‘Then that is for you ‘ ” Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) added. “Read (in the Qur’an) if you wish, the Statement of Allah: ‘Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land and sever your ties of kinship?’ (47.22)

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The word ‘Ar-Rahm (womb) derives its name from Ar-Rahman (i.e., one of the names of Allah) and Allah said: ‘I will keep good relation with the one who will keep good relation with you, (womb i.e. Kith and Kin) and sever the relation with him who will sever the relation with you, (womb, i.e. Kith and Kin).

Narrated `Aisha:
(the wife of the Prophet) The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “The word ‘Ar-Rahm’ (womb) derives its name from ‘Ar- Rahman’ (i.e. Allah). So whosoever keeps good relations with it (womb i.e. Kith and kin), Allah will keep good relations with him, and whosoever will sever it (i.e. severs his bonds of Kith and kin) Allah too will sever His relations with him.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 14: Ar-Rahm, i.e., womb (bond of kinship) remains fresh and fruitful if one looks after it always

Narrated `Amr bin Al-`As:
I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying openly not secretly, “The family of Abu so-and-so (i.e. Talib) are not among my protectors.” `Amr said that there was a blank space (1) in the Book of Muhammad bin Ja`far. He added, “My Protector is Allah and the righteous believing people.” `Amr bin Al-`As added: I heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, ‘But they (that family) have kinship (Rahm) with me and I will be good and dutiful to them. “

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 15: Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives

Narrated `Abdullah bin `Amr:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Al-Wasil is not the one who recompenses the good done to him by his relatives, but Al-Wasil is the one who keeps good relations with those relatives who had severed the bond of kinship with him.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 16: Good relations with kith and kin while a Mushrik then embraced Islam

Narrated Hakim bin Hizam:
That he said, “O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! What do you think about my good deeds which I used to do during the period of ignorance (before embracing Islam) like keeping good relations with my Kith and kin, manumitting of slaves and giving alms etc; Shall I receive the reward for that?” Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “You have embraced Islam with all those good deeds which you did.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 17: Whoever allowed a small girl to play with him

Narrated Sa`id:
Um Khalid bint Khalid bin Sa`id said, “I came to Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) along with my father and I was wearing a yellow shirt. Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Sanah Sanah!” (`Abdullah, the sub-narrator said, “It means, ‘Nice, nice!’ in the Ethiopian language.”) Um Khalid added, “Then I started playing with the seal of Prophethood. My father admonished me. But Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said (to my father), “Leave her,” Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (then addressing me) said, “May you live so long that your dress gets worn out, and you will mend it many times, and then wear another till it gets worn out (i.e. May Allah prolong your life).” (The sub-narrator, `Abdullah aid, “That garment (which she was wearing remained usable for a long period.”).

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 18: To be merciful to children and embrace them

Narrated Ibn Abi Na’m:
I was present when a man asked Ibn `Umar about the blood of mosquitoes. Ibn `Umar said, “From where are you?” The man replied. “From Iraq.” Ibn `Umar said, “Look at that! he is asking me about the blood of Mosquitoes while they (the Iraqis ) have killed the (grand) son of the Prophet. I have heard the Prophet (ﷺ) saying, “They (Hasan and Husain) are my two sweet-smelling flowers in this world.”

Narrated `Aisha:
(the wife of the Prophet) A lady along with her two daughters came to me asking me (for some alms), but she found nothing with me except one date which I gave to her and she divided it between her two daughters, and then she got up and went away. Then the Prophet (ﷺ) came in and I informed him about this story. He said, “Whoever is in charge of (put to test by) these daughters and treats them generously, then they will act as a shield for him from the (Hell) Fire.”

Narrated Abu Qatada:
The Prophet (ﷺ) came out towards us, while carrying Umamah, the daughter of Abi Al-As (his granddaughter) over his shoulder. He prayed, and when he wanted to bow, he put her down, and when he stood up, he lifted her up.

Narrated Abu Huraira:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) kissed Al-Hasan bin `Ali while Al-Aqra’ bin H`Abis at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, “I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them,” Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) cast a look at him and said, “Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.”

Narrated `Aisha:
A bedouin came to the Prophet (ﷺ) and said, “You (people) kiss the boys! We don’t kiss them.” The Prophet said, “I cannot put mercy in your heart after Allah has taken it away from it.”

Narrated `Umar bin Al-Khattab:
Some Sabi (i.e. war prisoners, children and woman only) were brought before the Prophet (ﷺ) and behold, a woman amongst them was milking her breasts to feed and whenever she found a child amongst the captives, she took it over her chest and nursed it (she had lost her child but later she found him) the Prophet said to us, “Do you think that this lady can throw her son in the fire?” We replied, “No, if she has the power not to throw it (in the fire).” The Prophet (ﷺ) then said, “Allah is more merciful to His slaves than this lady to her son.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 19: Allah divided mercy into one hundred parts

Narrated Abu Huraira:
I heard Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) saying, Allah divided Mercy into one hundred parts. He kept ninety nine parts with Him and sent down one part to the earth, and because of that, its one single part, His Creations are merciful to each other, so that even the mare lifts up its hoofs away from its baby animal, lest it should trample on it.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 20: Killing of children for the fear that they will share meals (in the book an ‘s’ is added to shares I have omitted that ‘s’)

Narrated `Abdullah:
I said ‘O Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ)! Which sin is the greatest?” He said, “To set up a rival unto Allah, though He Alone created you.” I said, “What next?” He said, “To kill your son lest he should share your food with you.” I further asked, “What next?” He said, “To commit illegal sexual intercourse with the wife of your neighbor.” And then Allah revealed as proof of the statement of the Prophet: ‘Those who invoke not with Allah any other god)…………….. (to end of verse)…’ (25.68)

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 21: To take a child in one’s lap

Narrated `Aisha:
The Prophet (ﷺ) took a child in his lap for Tahnik (i.e. he chewed a date in his mouth and put its juice in the mouth of the child). The child urinated on him, so he asked for water and poured it over the place of the urine.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 22: Putting the child on the thigh

Narrated Usama bin Zaid:
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) used to put me on (one of) his thighs and put Al-Hasan bin `Ali on his other thigh, and then embrace us and say, “O Allah! Please be Merciful to them, as I am merciful to them. “

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 40: How should a man be with his family?

Narrated Al-Aswad:
I asked `Aisha what did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do at home. She replied. “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was time for the prayer, he would get up for prayer

 Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 41: Love is from Allah Most High

Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “If Allah loves a person, He calls Gabriel saying: ‘Allah loves so and so; O Gabriel, love him.’ Gabriel would love him, and then Gabriel would make an announcement among the residents of the Heaven, ‘Allah loves so-and-so, therefore, you should love him also.’ So, all the residents of the Heavens would love him and then he is granted the pleasure of the people of the earth.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 73 : Book of Adab
Chapter 112: A child may be given Al-Kunyah and one may be given Al-Kunyah before children

Narrated Anas:
The Prophet (ﷺ) was the best of all the people in character. I had a brother called Abu `Umar, who, I think, had been newly weaned. Whenever he (that child) was brought to the Prophet (ﷺ) the Prophet (ﷺ) used to say, “O Abu `Umar! What did Al-Nughair (nightingale) (do)?” It was a nightingale with which he used to play. Sometimes the time of the Prayer became due while he (the Prophet) was in our house. He would order that the carpet underneath him be swept and sprayed with water, and then he would stand up (for the prayer) and we would line up behind him, and he would lead us in prayer.

Sahih Bukhari >
Book 80: Inheritance Laws

Sahih Bukhari > Book 80: Inheritance Laws
CHAPTER 1. The inheritance share of the offspring from the property of their dead fathers and mothers.

8:724 Narrated Ibn ‘Abbâs:
The Prophet said,” Give the Fará ‘Id (the shares of the inheritance that are prescribed in the Qur’an) to those who are entitled to receive it. Then whatever remains, should be given to the closest male relative of the deceased.

Sahih Bukhari > Book 80: Inheritance Laws
CHAPTER 2. The share of inheritance of one’s son’s daughter in the presence of one’s own daughter.

8:728 Narrated Abü Müsa:
That he was asked regarding (the inheritance of) a daughter, a son’s daughter, and a sister. He said, “The daughter will take one-half and the sister will take one-half. If you go to Ibn Mas’üd, he will tell you the same.” Ibn Mas’Ud was asked and was told of Abü Müsa’s verdict. Ibn Mas’üd then said, “If I give the same verdict, I would stray and would not be of the rightly-guided. The verdict I will give in this case, will be the same as the Prophet did, i.e., one-half is for daughter, and one-sixth for the son’s daughter, i.e., both shares make two thirds of the total property; and the rest is for the sister.” Afterwards we came to Abü Müsa and informed him of Ibn Mas’üd’s verdict, whereupon he said, “So, do not ask me for verdicts, as long as this learned man is among you.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 80: Inheritance Laws
CHAPTER 3. The freed slave belongs to the people who have freed him. And the son of the sister of some people is one of them (belongs to those people).

8:753 Narrated Anas bin Mâlik:
The Prophet said,” The freed slave belongs to the people who have freed him,” (or said something similar.)

8:754 Narrated (Anas bin Mâlik):
The Prophet said, “The son of the sister of some people is from them or from their ownselves.”

Sahih Bukhari > Book 80: Inheritance Laws
CHAPTER 4. Whoever claims to be the son of a person other than his father.

8:758 Narrated Sa’d bin Abi Waqqâs:
I heard the Prophet saying,” Whoever claims to be the son of a person other than his father, and he knows that, that person is not his father, then Paradise is (will be) forbidden for him.” I mentioned that to Abü Bakra, and he said, “My ears heard that, and my heart memorized it from Allah’s Messenger”

8:759 Narrated Abü Huraira:
The Prophet said, “Do not deny your fathers (i.e. claim to be the sons of persons other than your fathers), and whoever denies his father, is charged with disbelief.”

IN SAHIH MUSLIM:

Sahih Muslim >
Book 25: General Behaviour

Sahih Muslim > Book 25 : General Behaviour
Chapter 5: The excellence of Tahnik of the new born child at the time of its birth and, of carrying it to a pious person so that he may sovten some dates and rub its palate with them, and permissibility of giving the name on the day of its birth and the excellence of such names as ‘Abdullah, Ibrahim and the names of all the apostles of Allah (peace be upon them)

Book 25: Number 5340: Anas b. Malik reported: I took ‘Abdullah b. Abi Talha Ansari to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) at the time of his birth. Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) was at that time wearing a woollen cloak and besmearing the camels with tar. He said: Have you got with you the dates? I said: Yes. He took hold of the dates and put them in his mouth and softened them, then opened the mouth of the infant and put that in it and the child began to lick it. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: The Ansar have a liking for the dates, and he (the Holy Prophet) gave him the name of ‘Abdullah.

Book 25: Number 5341: Anas b. Malik reported that the son of Abu Talha had been ailing. Abu Talha set out (on a journey) and his son breathed his last (in his absence). When Abu Talha came back, he said (to his wife): What about my child? Umm Sulaim (the wife of Abu Talha) said: He is now in a more comfortable state than before. She served him the evening meal and he took it. He then came to her (and had sexual intercourse with her) and when it was all over she said: Make arrangements for the burial of the child. When it was morning. Abu Talha came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and informed him, whereupon he said: Did you spend the night with her. He said: Yes. He (the Holy Prophet) then said: O Allah, bless both of them (and as a result of blessing) she gave birth to a child. Abu Talha said to me (Anas b. Malik) to take the child, (so I took him) and came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). She (Umm Sulaim) also had sent some dates (along with the child). Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) took him (the child) (in his lap) and said: Is there anything with you (for Tahnik). They (the Companions) said: Yes. Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) took hold of them (dates and chewed them). He then put them (the chewed dates) in the mouth of the child and then rubbed his palate and gave him the name of ‘Abdullah.

Book 25: Number 5342: This hadith has been reported on the authority of Anas through another chain of transmitters.

Book 25: Number 5343: Abu Musa reported: A child was born in my house and I brought him to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) and he gave him the name of Ibrahim and he rubbed his palate with dates.

Book 25: Number 5344: ‘Urwa b. Zubair and Fatima daughter of Mandhir b. Zubair, reported that Asma’ daughter of Abu Bakr was at the time of migration in the family way with ‘Abdullah b. Zubair (in her womb). She came to Quba’ and gave birth to ‘Abdullah at that place and then sent him to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) so that he should rub his palate with chewed dates. Allah’s Messenger (may peace he upon him) took hold of him (the child) and he placed him in his lap and then called for dates. ‘A’isha said: Some time was spent before we were able to find them. He (the Holy Prophet) chewed them and then put his saliva in his mouth. The first thing that entered his stomach, was the saliva of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). Asma’ said: He then rubbed him and blessed him and gave him the name of Abdullah. He (‘Abdullah) went to him (the Holy Prophet) when he had attained the age of seven or eight years in order to pledge allegiance to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as Zubair had commanded him to do. Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) smiled when he saw him coming towards him and then accepted his allegiance.

Book 25: Number 5345: Asma’ reported that she had become pregnant at Mecca with Abdullah b. Zubair (in her womt) and she (further) said: I set out (for migration to Medina) as I was in the advanced stage of pregnancy. I came to Medina and got down at the place known as Quba’ and gave birth to a child there. Then I came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace he upon him). He placed him (the child) in his lap and then commanded for the dates to be brought. He chewed them and then put the saliva in his mouth. The first thing which went into his stomach was the saliva of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). He then rubbed his palate with dates and then invoked blessings for him and blessed him. He was the first child who was born in Islam (after Migration).

Book 25: Number 5346: Asma’, daughter of Abu Bakr, reported that when she migrated to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) in Medina she was in the family way with Abdullah b. Zubair in her womb.

Book 25: Number 5347: ‘A’isha reported that the new born infants were brought to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). He blessed them and rubbed their palates with dates.

Book 25: Number 5348: ‘A’isha reported: We took ‘Abdullah b. Zubair to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) so that he should put saliva in his mouth and we had to make a good deal of effort in order to procure them.

Book 25: Number 5349: Sahl b. Sa’d reported that Mundhir b. Aba Usaid was brought to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) at the time of his birth Allah’s. Apostle (may peace be upon him) placed him on his thigh and Abfi Usaid kept sitting there. Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) had been occupied with something else before him. Abu Usaid commanded his child to be lifted from the lap of Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and so he was lifted. When Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) had finished the work he said: Where is the child? Abd Usaid said: Allah’s Messenger, we took him away. He said: What is his name? He said; Allah’s Messenger, it is so and so, whereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Nay, his name is Mundhir, and named him Mundhir on that day.

Book 25: Number 5350: Anas b. Malik reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) had the sublimest character among mankind. I had a brother who was called Abd ‘Umair. I think he was weaned. When Allah’s Messenger (may peace he upon him) came to our house he saw him, and said: Abu ‘Umair, what has the sparrow done? He (Anas) said that he had been playing with that.

Sahih Muslim >
Book 32: Virtue, Good Manners And Ties Of Relationship

Sahih Muslim > Book 32 : Virtue, Good Manners And Ties of Relationship
Chapter 1: Politeness towards parents and their right to it

Book 32: Number 6180: Abu Huraira reported that a person came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Who among the people is most deserving of a fine treatment from my hand? He said: Your mother. He again said: Then who (is the next one)? He said: Again it is your mother (who deserves the best treatment from you). He said: Then who (is the next one)? He (the Holy Prophet) said: Again, it is your mother. He (again) said: Then who? Thereupon he said: Then it is your father. In the hadith transmitted on the authority of Qutalba, there is no mention of the word” the people”.

Book 32: Number 6181: Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah’s Messenger, who amongst the people is most deserving of my good treatment? He said: Your mother, again your mother, again your mother, then your father, then your nearest relatives according to the order (of nearness).

Book 32: Number 6182: Abu Huraira reported: A person came to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him). The rest of the hadith is the same as transmitted by jarir but with this addition: By your father, you would get the information.

Book 32: Number 6183: This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Ibn Shubruma with the same chain of transmitters and the hadith transmitted on the authority of Wuhaib there is a slight variation of wording. Same is the case with the hadith transmitted on the authority of Muhammad b. Talha (and the words are):” Who amongst the people deserves the best treatment from me”.

Book 32: Number 6184: Abdullah b. ‘Anir reported that a person came to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) and sought permission (to participate) in Jihad, whereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Are your parents living? He said: Yes. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: You should put in your best efforts (in their) service.

Book 32: Number 6185: This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Habib with the same chain of transmitters.

Book 32: Number 6186: Yazid b. Abu Habib reported that Na’im, the freed slave of Umm Salama, reported to him that ‘Abdullah b. ‘Amr b. ‘As said: There came to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) a person and said: I owe allegiance to you for migration and Jihad seeking reward only from Allah. He (the Holy Prophet) said: Is one from amongst your parents living? He said: Yes, of course, both are living. He further asked: Do you want to seek reward from Allah? He said: Yes. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Go back to your parents and accord them benevolent treatment.

Sahih Muslim > Book 32 : Virtue, Good Manners And Ties of Relationship
Chapter 2: The preference of benevolent treatment to parents over voluntary prayers, etc.

Book 32: Number 6187: Abu Huraira reported that Juraij was one who was devoted to (prayer) in the temple. His mother came to him. Humaid said that Abu Rafi’ demonstrated before us like the demonstration made by abu Huraira to whom Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) had demonstrated as his mother called him placing her palms upon the eyebrows and lifting her head for calling him and said: Juraij, it is your mother, so talk to her. She found him at that time absorbed in prayer, so he said (to himself): O Lord, my mother (is calling me) (whereas I am absorbed) in my prayer. He opted for prayer. She (his mother) went back, then came again for the second time and said: O Juraij, it is your mother (calling you), so talk to me. He said: O Allah. there is my mother also and my prayer, and he opted for prayer. She said: O Allah, this Juraij is my son. I pray to talk to him but he refuses to talk to me. O Allah, don’t bring death to him unless he has seen the prostitutes, and had she invoked the curse upon him (from the heart of her heart) he would have been involved in some turmoil. There was a shepherd living nearby his temple (the temple where Juraij was engaged in prayer). It so happened that a woman of that village came there and that shepherd committed fornication with her and she became pregnant and gave birth to a child. It was said to her: Whose child is this? She said: He is the child of one who is living in this temple. So there came persons with hatchets and spades. They called Juraij. He was absorbed in prayer and he did not talk to them and they were about to demolish that temple that he saw them and then came to them and they said: Ask her (this woman) what she says. He smiled and then touched the head of the child and said: Who is your father? He (the child) said: My father is the shepherd of the sheep, and when they heard this, they said: We are prepared to rebuild with gold and silver what we have demolished from your temple. He said: No, rebuild it with clay as it had been before. He then went up (to his room and absorbed himself in prayer).

Book 32: Number 6188: Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: None spoke in the cradle but only three (persons), Christ son of Mary, the second one the companion of Juraij. Juraij had got constructed a temple and confined himself in that. His mother came to him as he was busy in prayer and she said: Juraij. He said: My Lord, my mother (is calling me while I am engaged in) my prayer. He continued with the prayer. She returned and she came on the next day and he was busy in prayer, and she said: Juraij. And he said: My Lord, my mother (is calling me while I am engaged) in prayer, and he continued with the prayer and she went back, and then on the next day she again came and he was busy in prayer and she said: Juraij. And he said: My Lord, my mother (is calling me while I am engaged in my prayer, and he continued with the prayer, and she said: My Lord, don’t give him death unless he has seen the fate of the prostitutes. The story of Juraij and that of his meditation and prayer gained currency amongst Bani Isra’il. There was a prostitute who had been a beauty incarnate. She said (to the people): If you like I can allure him to evil. She presented herself to him but he paid no heed (to her). She came to a shepherd who lived near the temple and she offered herself to him and he had a sexual intercourse with her and so she became pregnant arid when she gave birth to a child she said: This is from Juraij. So they came and asked him to get down and demolished the temple and began to beat him. He said: What is the matter? They said: You have committed fornication with this prostitute and she has given birth to a child from your loins. He said: Where is the child? They brought him (the child) and he said: just leave me so that I should observe prayer. And he observed prayer and when he finished, he came to the child. He struck his stomach and said: O boy, who is your father? lie said: He is such shepherd. So they turned towards Juraij, kissed him and touched him (for seeking blessing) and said: We are prepared to construct your temple with gold. He said. No, just rebuild it with mud as it had been, and they did that. Then there was a babe who was sucking his mother that a person dressed in fine garment came riding upon a beast. His mother said: O Allah, make my child like this one. He (the babe) left sucking and began to see towards him, and said: O Allah, don’t make me like him. He then returned to the chest and began to suck the milk of his mother. He (Abu Huraira) said: I perceived as if I am seeing Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as he is explaining the scene of his sucking milk with his forefinger in his mouth and sucking that. He (Abu Huraira) further reported Allah’s Apostle (may be peace upon him) as saying: There happened to pass by him a girl who was being beaten and they were saying: You have committed adultery and you have committed theft and she was saying: Allah is enough for me and He is my good Protector, and his mother said: O Allah, don’t make my child like her and he left sucking the milk, and looked towards her and said: O Allah, make me like her, and there was a talk between them. She said: O with shaven head, a good looking person happened to pass by and I said: O Allah, make my child like him, and you said: O Allah, don’t make me like him, and they passed by a girl while they were beating her and saying: You committed fornication and you committed theft, and I said: O Allah, don’t make my child like her, and you said: O Allah, make me like her. Thereupon he said: That person was a tyrant, and I said: O Allah, don’t make me like him, and they were saying about her: You committed fornication whereas in fact she had not committed that and they were saying: You have committed theft whereas she had not committed theft, so I said: O Allah, make me like her.

Book 32: Number 6189: Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: Allah’s Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise.

Book 32: Number 6190: Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Let him be humbled, let him be humbled. It was said: Allah’s Messenger, who is he? He said. He who finds his parents in old age, either one or both of them, and does not enter Paradise.

Book 32: Number 6191: Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: Let him be humbled thrice, and the rest of the hadith is the same.

Sahih Muslim > Book 32 : Virtue, Good Manners And Ties of Relationship
Chapter 3: Kindness towards the friends of one’s father and mother

Book 32: Number 6192: Ibn Dinar reported that a desert Arab met Abdullah b. ‘Umar on the way to Mecca. ‘Abdullah greeted him and mounted him upon the donkey on which he had been riding and gave him the turban that he had on his head. Ibn Dinar (further) reported: We said to him (‘Abdullah b. ‘Umar): May Allah do good to you, these are desert Arabs and they are satisfied even with meagre (things). Thereupon Abdullah said: His father was loved dearly by ‘Umar b. Khattib and I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The finest act of goodness on the part of a son is to treat kindly the loved ones of his father.

Book 32: Number 6193: ‘Abdullah b. Umar reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father.

Book 32: Number 6194: Abdullah b. Dinar reported that when ‘Abdullah b. ‘Umar set out to Mecea, ‘he kept a donkey with him which he used as a diversion from the tedium of journey on the camel’s back and had a turban which he tied round his head. One day, as he was riding the donkey a desert Arab happened to pass by him. He (‘Abdullah b. ‘Umar) said: Arn’t you so and so? He said: Yes He gave him his donkey and said: Ride it, and tie the turban round your head. Some of his companions said: May Allah pardon you, you gave to this desert Arab the donkey on which you enjoyed ride for diversion and the turban which you tied round your. head. Thereupon he said: Verily I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The finest act of goodness is the kind treatment of a person to the loved ones of his father after his death and the father of this person was a friend of ‘Umar.

Book 32: Number 6195: Nawwas b. Sim’an al-Ansiri reported: I asked Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) about virtue and vice. He said: Virtue is a kind disposition and vice is what rankles in your heart and that you disapprove that people should come to know of it.

Book 32: Number 6196: Nawwis b. Sim’in reported: I stayed with Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) for one year. What obstructed me to migrate was (nothing) but (persistent) inquiries from him (about Islam). (It was a common observation) that when anyone of us migrated (to Medina) he ceased to ask (too many questions) from Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). So I asked him about virtue and vice. Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Virtue is a kind disposition and vice is what rankles in your mind and that you disapprove of its being known to the people.

Sahih Muslim > Book 32 : Virtue, Good Manners And Ties of Relationship
Chapter 4: Joining the tie of relationship and prohibition to break it

Book 32: Number 6197: Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Verily Allah created the universe and when He had finished that, ties of relationship came forward and said This is the place for him who seeks refuge from severing (of blood relationship). He said: Yes. Are you not satisfied that I should keep relationship with one who joins your ties of relationship and sever it with one who severs your (ties of relationship)? They (the ties of blood) said: Certainly so. Thereupon He said: Well, that is how things are for you. Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) then said: Recite if you like:” But if you turn away you are sure to make mischief in the land and cut off the ties of kinship. Those it is whom Allah has cursed, so He has made them deaf and blinded their eyes. Do they not reflect on the Qur’an? Or, are there locks on their hearts?”.

Book 32: Number 6198: ‘A’isha reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: The tie of kinship is suspended to the Throne and says: He who unites me Allah would unite him and he who severed me Allah would sever him.

Book 32: Number 6199: Jubair b. Mut’im reported on the authority of his father that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: The severer would not enter Paradise. Ibn Umar said that Sufyan (explained it as): One who severs the tie of kinship would not enter Paradise.

Book 32: Number 6200: Jubair b. Mutlim reported that his father narrated to him that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: The severer of the tie of kinship would not get into Paradise.

Book 32: Number 6201: This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Zuhri with the same chain of transmitters.

Book 32: Number 6202: Anas b. Malik reported: I heard Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: He who is desirous that his means of sustenance should be expanded for him or his age may be lengthened, should join the tie of relationship.

Book 32: Number 6203: Anas b. Malik reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: He who likes that his sustenance should be expanded and his age may be lengthened should join the tie of kinship.

Book 32: Number 6204: Abu Huraira reported that a person said: Allah’s Messenger, I have relatives with whom I try, to have close relationship, but they sever (this relation). I treat them well, but they treat me ill. I am sweet to them but they are harsh towards me. Upon this he (the Holy Prophet) said: If it is so as you say, then you in fact throw hot ashes (upon their faces) and there would always remain with you on behalf of Allah (an Angel to support you) who would keep you dominant over them so long as you adhere to this (path of righteousness).

Sahih Muslim > Book 32 : Virtue, Good Manners And Ties of Relationship
Chapter 44: The merit of according benevolent treatment to daughters

Book 32: Number 6362: ‘A’isha, the wife of Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him), said: A woman came to me along with her two daughters. She asked me for (charity) but she found nothing with me except one date, so I gave her that. She accepted it and then divided it between her two daughters and herself ate nothing out of that. She then got up and went out, and so did her two daughters. (In the meanwhile) Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) visited me and I narrated to him her story. Thereupon Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) said: He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (bringing up) daughters, and he accords benevolent treatment towards them, there would be protection for him against Hell Fire.

Book 32: Number 6363: ‘A’isha reported: A poor woman came to me along with her daughters. I gave her three dates. She gave a date to each of them and then she took up one date and brought that to her mouth in order to eat that, but her daughters expressed desire to eat it. She then divided the date that she intended to eat between them. This (kind) treatment of her impressed me and I mentioned that which she did to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him). Thereupon he said: Verily Allah has assured Paradise for her, because of (this act) of her, or He has rescued her from Hell Fire.

Book 32: Number 6364: Malik reported Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying: He, who brought up two girls properly till they grew up, he and I would come (together) (very closely) on the Day of Resurrection, and he interlaced his fingers (for explaining the point of nearness between him and that person).

Sahih Muslim > Book 32 : Virtue, Good Manners And Ties of Relationship
Chapter 45: The merit of one who resigns himself to the will of god calmly at the time of the death of one’s son

Book 32: Number 6365: Abu Huraira reported Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) as saying: Anyone amongst the Muslims, three of whose children die, and he resigns himself calmly to the will of God, Fire will not touch him but for the fulfilment of the oath.

Book 32: Number 6366: This hadith has been reported by Zuhri on the authority of Malik, and in the hadith transmitted on the authority of Sufyan (the words are):” He would enter into Fire, except for the fulfilment of the oath.”

Book 32: Number 6367: Abu Huraira reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said to a woman of the Ansar: In case anyone amongst you sees the sad demise of three children of (hers) and she resigns herself to the will of God hoping to get reward, she would be admitted to Paradise. A woman from amongst them said: Allah’s Messenger, even if they (the children who die) are two. Thereupon, he (the Holy Prophet,) said: Even if they are two.

Book 32: Number 6368: Abu Sa’id Khudri reported that a woman came to Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) and said: Allah’s Messenger, men receive your instructions; kindly allocate at your convenience a day for us also, on which we would come to you and you would teach us what Allah has taught you. He said: You assemble on such and such a day. They assembled and Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) came to them and taught them what Allah had taught him and he then said: No woman amongst you who sends her three children as her forerunners (in the Hereafter) but they would serve him as a protection against Hell Fire. A woman said: What about two and two and two? Thereupon Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) said: Even if they are two and two and two.

Book 32: Number 6369: Abu Huraira reported that he (the Holy Prophet) said: Three (children) who die in childhood.

Book 32: Number 6370: Abu Hassan reported: I said to Abu Huraira that my two children had died. Would you narrate to me anything from Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) a hadith which would soothe our hearts in our bereavements? He said: Yes. Small children are the fowls of Paradise. If one of them meets his father (or he said his parents) he would take hold of his cloth, or he said with his hand as I take hold of the hem of your cloth (with my hand). And he (the child) would not take off (his hand) from it until Allah causes his father to enter Paradise. This hadith has been narrated on the authority of Tamim with the same chain of transmitters. And he is reported to have said: Did you hear from Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) anything which may soothe our heart in our bereavements? He said: Yes.

Book 32: Number 6371: Abu Huraira reported that a woman came to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) with her child and said: Allah’s Apostle, invoke Allah’s blessing upon him for I have already buried three. He said: You have buried three! She said: Yes. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: You have, indeed, safeguarded yourself against the torment of Hell with a strong safeguard. ‘Umar has made a mention of his father, whereas others have not made a mention of his father.

Book 32: Number 6372: Abu Huraira reported that a woman came to Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) with her child and said: Allah’s Messenger, he is ailing, and I am afraid (that he may die), as I have already buried three. Thereupon he said: It (their sad demise) would be a protection against Hell Fire for you. Zuhair has not mentioned the kunya of Abu Ghiyath; he has mentioned his name.

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Book Of Misselenas

Riyadh Al Saliheen > Book : Book of Misselenas
Chapter 36 : Sustentation of the Members of the Family

Allah, the Exalted, says:
“The father of the child shall bear the cost of the mother’s food and clothing on a reasonable basis”. (2:233)

“Let the rich man spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him”. (65:7)
“And whatsoever you spend of anything (in Allah’s Cause), He will replace it”. (34:39)

Hadith: 289. Give to a needy person, or to support your family, the one yielding the greatest reward is that which you spend on your family”. [Muslim].
Commentary: A Muslim is ordained to spend first of all on the need of his wife and children and their food and clothes. There is greater reward for him in this because these expenses are obligatory on him while spending on other items is in the nature of Nawafil. Obviously, one cannot forego the former for the latter.

Hadith: 290.  Thauban bin Bujdud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “The most excellent dinar is one that a person spends on his family, and the dinar which he spends on his riding-animal in the way of Allah (in Jihad), and the dinar he spends on his companions in the way of Allah”. [Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith relates to the same subject which has been mentioned in the previous Hadith. It stresses that men of small means should first of all spend on their own families and children. It is in fact an act of great merit. After fulfilling their needs, if he still has something left with him then he can spend it on other items in the order of precedence mentioned in the Hadith.

Hadith: 291.  Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: I asked Messenger of Allah (PBUH), “Would I be rewarded for what I spend on Abu Salamah’s sons? For I can’t let them go here and there (to beg people).” Messenger of Allah (PBUH) replied, “Spend on them and you will be rewarded for what you spend on them”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Although parents spend money on their children out of their natural love for them, Allah is so Gracious that He not only rewards them for it, but He gives it in greater proportion than what they spend on other meritorious items.

Hadith: 292.  Sa`d bin Abu Waqqas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported in a Hadith included in the Chapter of Intention, that Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Whatever you spend seeking thereby the Pleasure of Allah, will have its reward, even the morsel which you put in the mouth of your wife”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith also highlights the point that one should feed his family and children with the intention that it has been ordained by Allah. In that case, this natural instinct will become an act of worship for which he will be rewarded.

Hadith: 293.  Abu Mas`ud Al-Badri (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “When someone spends on his family seeking his reward for it from Allah, it is counted as a charity from him”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: `Seeking his reward’ means that one is supporting his family as a duty entrusted by Allah. It is also warranted by compassion for the near ones. A person who does it as a duty ordained by Allah and shows mercy to his deserving relatives to attain His Pleasure then what he spends with this intention on his children will be eligible for reward from Allah.

Hadith: 294.  `Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Neglecting one’s own dependents is a reason enough for a man to commit a sin”. [Abu Dawud]
The narration in Muslim is: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “It is enough sin for a person to hold back the due of one whose provision is in his hand”.
Commentary: This Hadith tells us that negligence in matter of maintenance of one’s family is such a great sin that if a person is free from all other sins, this one alone will be enough to make him accountable before Allah. The words used in this Hadith are so comprehensive that they include servants and slaves besides family and children because he is also equally responsible for their maintenance. Thus, this Hadith makes it evident that it is the responsibility of the head of the family to provide the necessities of life to all his dependents; and any negligence on his part in this respect is a great sin.

Hadith: 295.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Two angels descend every morning, and one says: `O Allah, give him who spends something, in place of what he spends.’ The other one says: `O Allah, give destruction to him who withholds”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith provides justification to pray for virtuous people to get better than what they have spent, and to destroy the wealth of the niggardly who refuse to spend in the way of Allah.

Hadith: 296.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “The upper hand is better than the lower one (i.e., the spending hand is better than the receiving hand); and begin (charity) with those who are under your care; and the best charity is that which given out of surplus; and he who asks (Allah) to help him abstain from the unlawful and the forbidden, Allah will fulfill his wish; and he who seeks self-sufficiency will be made self-sufficient by Allah”. [Al-Bukhari].
Commentary: This Hadith mentions the importance of spending in the way of Allah, preference of one’s family and children over others, and chasteness and contentment. It also tells us that Allah helps one in getting what one prays for.

Riyadh Al Saliheen > Book : Book of Misselenas
Chapter 38 : Urging one’s kith and kin to Obey Allah and refrain from evils

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“And enjoin Salat (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them (i.e., the Salat).” (20:132)
“O you who believe! Ward off yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell), whose fuel is men and stones.” (66:6)

Hadith: 298. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Al-Hasan bin `Ali (May Allah be pleased with them) took one of the dates of the Sadaqah (charity) and put it in his mouth, whereupon Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Leave it, leave it, throw it away. Do you not know that we do not eat the Sadaqah (charity)?” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Commentary: This Hadith emphasizes the following points:
1. Sadaqah is not lawful for the Prophet (PBUH) and his family. His family here means Banu Hashim and Banu Abdul-Muttalib.
2. Proper upbringing of children is extremely important. They must be prohibited by parents from such things which are indecent and unbecoming.
3. What is collected as Sadaqah is a national trust. The houses and institution where it is collected and kept, should take strict care of its proper utilization. It is the duty of the custodians of Sadaqat that they protect them and give them to the deserving people.

Hadith: 299. `Umar bin Abu Salamah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I was a boy under the care of Messenger of Allah (PBUH), and my hand would wander about in the dish. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said to me “Mention Allah’s Name (i.e., say Bismillah before you start eating), eat with your right hand and eat from what is near to you”. I always followed this way of eating after this incident. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith brings the following points into focus:

1. Teaching good manners and morals to the children.
2. One must start his meals with Bismillah (Begin with the Name of Allah) and take his share of food from the side of vessel in front of him, if all are eating from one vessel. If there are many varieties of fruit on the table then one can choose freely.
3. If a child makes any mistake, he should be corrected right away because that proves more effective and is engraved in his mind and heart.

Hadith: 300. Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “All of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects. The ruler is a guardian and responsible for his subjects; the man is a guardian of his family; the woman is guardian in her husband’s house and responsible for her wards; a servant is guardian of his master’s property and responsible for his ward. So all of you are guardians and are responsible for your subjects”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith ordains every individual in society, whether a ruler or ruled or even a woman who leads her life within the four walls of her house, to perform one’s duties within one’s own sphere.

Hadith: 301. `Amr bin Shu`aib reported on his father’s authority that his grandfather (May Allah be pleased with him) said: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Command your children to perform Salat (prayer) when they are seven years old, and beat them for (not offering) it when they are ten, and do not let (boys and girls) sleep together”. [Abu Dawud].
Commentary: This Hadith highlights the following points:

1. The importance of the prescribed five daily Salat (prayers).
2. When warranted by the situation, it is permissible to beat children for their proper upbringing and education. But this should not be in any case violent and aggressive. It should rather be done in a manner that the child does not suffer any physical injury and receives the right type of training. It is an absurd theory that children should be given a free hand, and leave alone the corporal punishment, they should not even be rebuked on doing something wrong. Suitable punishment is essential for their proper training and education.
3. Muslim jurists have written that like Salat, other injunctions of Shari`ah should also be instilled in the minds of children, and if possible, they should also be given practical training for their performance. For instance, they should be made to observe Saum (fast) occasionally in accordance with their age and capacity during the month of Ramadan, so that the importance of obligation of fasting is impressed on their minds in an early age. This exercise will prove very fruitful when they attain maturity. They will then be conscious that for a Muslim, fasting in the month of Ramadan is compulsory like the five daily Salat.
4. A child generally does not attain maturity at the age of ten years, but nevertheless he does acquire some sense. It is, therefore, necessary that rather than putting children in one bed they are provided separate beds once they reach the age of 10, especially children of the opposite sex.

Hadith: 302. Sabrah bin Ma`bad Al-Juhani (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Teach a boy Salat (the prayer) when he attains the age of seven years, and punish him (if he does not offer it) at ten”. [Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi].
The narration in Abu Dawud is: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Order a boy to perform Salat (the prayer) when he is seven years old”.
Commentary: Obviously only such teachers and parents can persuade the children to perform Salat who are themselves very strict about it. In the early period of Islam, one could not even think of a Muslim who ignored it. It is very unfortunate indeed that in the present-day Muslim societies, a large majority of Muslims are careless about this fundamental religious duty. In such a state of affairs who would instruct and persuade them to perform this religious obligation of the first order?

Riyadh Al Saliheen > Book : Book of Misselenas
Chapter 40 : Kind Treatment towards Parents and establishment of the ties of Blood Relationship

Allah, the Exalted, says:
“Worship Allah and join none with Him (in worship); and do good to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, Al-Masakin (the poor), the neighbour who is near of kin, the neighbour who is a stranger, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (you meet), and those (slaves) whom your right hands possess”. (4:36)

“And fear Allah through Whom you demand (your mutual rights), and (do not cut the relations of) the wombs (kinship)”. (4:1)

“And those who join that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they are good to their relatives and do not sever the bond of kinship)”. (13:21)

“And we have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents”. (29:8)

“And your Rubb has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: `My Rubb! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young”. (17:23,24)

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years- give thanks to Me and to your parents”. (31:14)

Hadith: 312.  `Abdullah bin Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I asked the Prophet (PBUH) , “Which of the deeds is loved most by Allah?” Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Salat at its proper time.” I asked, “What next?” He (PBUH) replied, “Kindness to parents.” I asked, “What next?” He replied, “Jihad in the way of Allah.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Performance of Salat at the stated time means its performance in earliest prescribed or at least its regularity. One should not give preference to mundane affairs over it. Salat and Jihad are the two most meritorious duties of a Muslim. When nice treatment to parents is mentioned along with Salat and Jihad, it gives further importance to this injunction.

Hadith: 313.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “No son can repay (the kindness shown by his father) unless he finds him a slave and buys him and emancipates him”. [Muslim].

Hadith: 314.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “He who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him be hospitable to his guest; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain good the ties of blood relationship; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day, must speak good or remain silent”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith is mentioned here to highlight the importance of kindness to relatives. It enjoins considerate treatment to relatives and stresses that one should maintain relationship with them at all costs. So much so that even if they misbehave and sever relations with him, one should make efforts to restore not only relationship with them but also their rights. This is what kindness to relatives really means. Islam has laid great stress on it. Relatives include both paternal and maternal relatives.

Hadith: 315.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Allah created all the creatures and when He finished the task of His creation, Ar-Rahm (ties of relationship) said: `(O Allah) at this place I seek refuge with You against severing my ties.’ Allah said: `That I treat with kindness those who treat you with kindness and sever ties with those who sever ties with you.’ It said: `I am satisfied.’ Allah said: `Then this is yours”. Then Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Recite this Ayah if you like: `Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight”. (47:22,23). [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

The words in Al-Bukhari are: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Allah (SWT) says: `He who maintains good ties with you, I maintain good ties with him; and he who severs your ties, I sever ties with him”.
Commentary: This Hadith also stresses the importance of proper treatment with relatives for the reason that this is a special means of attaining the nearness and Mercy of Allah. A conduct contrary to it, that is to say, devouring the rights of relatives and continuation of estrangement with them, is the cause of displeasure and Wrath of Allah.

Hadith: 316.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A person came to Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and asked, “Who among people is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (PBUH) said, “Your mother”. He again asked, “Who next?” “Your mother”, the Prophet (PBUH) replied again. He asked, “Who next?” He (the Prophet (PBUH)) said again, “Your mother.” He again asked, “Then who?” Thereupon he (PBUH) said,” Then your father.”

In another narration: “O Messenger of Allah! Who is most deserving of my fine treatment?” He (PBUH) said, “Your mother, then your mother, then your mother, then your father, then your nearest, then nearest”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith tells us that the rights of the mother are three times more important than that of the father for the reasons that:

1. She is weaker than the father.
2. The following three troubles are borne exclusively by the mother while the father does not share them with her:

a) She carries the baby in her womb for nine months,
b) The labor pain which she suffers.
c) Two years’ period of suckling which disturbs her sleep at night and affects her health. She has also to be very cautious in her food for the welfare of the baby.

Hadith: 317.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced! May he be disgraced, whose parents, one or both, attain old age during his life time, and he does not enter Jannah (by rendering being dutiful to them)”. [Muslim].
Commentary: The word “Ragham” means soil. When a person’s nose is soiled, it is a mark of his extreme humiliation. This metaphor carries a curse for an unfortunate person who does not win the pleasure of Allah by serving and obeying his parents. In fact, it is a malediction as well as a prediction of someone’s inauspicious end. Service of parents is essential at every stage of their life – whether they are young or old. But this Hadith mentions their old age for the reason that in that period of their life they stand in greater need of care and service. It is a very callous offense to leave them at the mercy of circumstances when they are old, senile and depend on others for their needs. To neglect them at that stage is a major sin for which one deserves Hell-fire.

Hadith: 318.  Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man said to Messenger of Allah (PBUH): “I have relatives with whom I try to keep the ties of relationship but they sever relations with me; and whom I treat kindly but they treat me badly, I am gentle with them but they are rough to me.” He (PBUH) replied, “If you are as you say, it is as if you are feeding them hot ashes, and you will be with a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do so”. [Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith has three important lessons:

First, the misbehavior of one’s relative is no justification for the misbehavior of another, let alone the severing of relations on that account.
Second, the person who treats his relatives nicely in all events and circumstances is blessed by Allah who will send from heaven helpers to support him.
Third, the consequence of denying compassion and kindness to relatives is as woeful as the eating of hot ashes.

Hadith: 319.  Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “He who desires ample provisions and his life be prolonged, should maintain good ties with his blood relations”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: One, who is benevolent and compassionate towards one’s own relatives, stands to gain at least two definite advantages in this world besides the reward in the next. These two advantages are the increase in his subsistence and longevity of life.
Increase in subsistence means that Almighty Allah will increase the quantity of his worldly goods or his means of subsistence will be blessed by Him. Similar is the case of longevity of life. The life of such person is either actually increased (in terms of years) or his life is graced with the Blessings of Allah. Both interpretations are correct.

Hadith: 320.  Anas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Abu Talhah (May Allah be pleased with him) was the richest among the Ansar of Al-Madinah and possessed the largest property; and among his possessions what he loved most was his garden known as Bairuha’ which was opposite the mosque, and Messenger of Allah (PBUH) often visited it and drank from its fresh water. When this ayah was revealed: “By no means shall you attain Al-Birr (piety, righteousness – here it means Allah’s reward, i.e., Jannah), unless you spend (in Allah’s Cause) of that which you love,” (3:92). Abu Talhah came to Messenger of Allah (PBUH), and said: “Allah says in His Book: `By no means shall you attain Al-Birr, unless you spend (in Allah’s Cause) of that which you love,’ and the dearest of my property is Bairuha’ so I have given it as Sadaqah (charity) for Allah’s sake, and I anticipate its reward with Him; so spend it, O Messenger of Allah, as Allah guides you”. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Well-done! That is profitable property. I have heard what you have said, but I think you should spend it on your nearest relatives.” So Abu Talhah distributed it among his nearest relatives and cousins. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith has already been mentioned in the Chapter which deals with the merits of spending of what one loves best in the way of Allah. It has been repeated here in support of benevolence to the relatives. Its repetition makes it clear that while spending in the way of Allah, one should always first of all consider his relatives and help those of them who deserve assistance. After fulfilling their needs, if anything remains then it can be given to others.

Hadith: 321. `Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: A man came to the Prophet (PBUH) of Allah and said, “I swear allegiance to you for emigration and Jihad, seeking reward from Allah.” He (PBUH) said, “Is any of your parents alive?” He said, “Yes, both of them are alive.” He (PBUH) then asked, “Do you want to seek reward from Allah?” He replied in the affirmative. Thereupon Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Go back to your parents and keep good company with them”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

In another narration it is reported that a person came to Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and sought his permission to participate in Jihad. The Prophet (PBUH) asked, “Are your parents alive?” He replied in the affirmative. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “(You should) consider their service as Jihad.”
Commentary: Under normal circumstances, Jihad is Fard Kifayah (collective duty — which means that if some people observe it, the rest of the Muslims will be exempted from its obligation). In such circumstances permission of parents to participate in Jihad is necessary because their service is Fard-ul-`ain (individual duty — an injunction or ordinance, the obligation of which extends to every Muslim in person), and the former cannot be preferred to the latter. This Hadith explains such a situation. In certain circumstances, however, Jihad becomes Fard-ul-`ain and in that case permission of the parents to take part in Jihad is not essential because then every Muslim is duty-bound to take part in it.

Hadith: 322.  `Abdullah bin `Amr Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “The person who perfectly maintains the ties of kinship is not the one who does it because he gets recompensed by his relatives (for being kind and good to them), but the one who truly maintains the bonds of kinship is the one who persists in doing so even though the latter has severed the ties of kinship with him”. [Al-Bukhari].
Commentary: This Hadith makes clear the essentials of kindness to relatives. Those kinsmen who respect and honour you, would obviously be treated by you fairly. It goes without saying that people usually reciprocate sentiments showed to them. But this is not maintaining the ties of kinship but kindness for kindness. On the opposite side, there is a kinsman who is rough and rude and is always bent upon severing relation with you, but you tolerate his excesses with patience and perseverance, return his harshness with politeness, maintain relationship with him in spite of all his efforts to break it, then what you are exercising is maintaining the ties of kinship. This is what Islam actually demands from a Muslim. But this is the excellence of Faith which one must try to attain. There is nothing remarkable in exchanging dry smiles.

Hadith: 323.  `Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “The bond of relationship is suspending from the Throne, and says: `He who keeps good relations with me, Allah will keep connection with him, but whosoever severs relations with me, Allah will sever connection with him”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: The discourse on compassion to relatives mentioned in this Hadith is not impossible because Almighty Allah is Omnipotent and is thus capable of doing what He likes. He can create perception, consciousness and power of speech in everything. An instance of it has already been mentioned in a Hadith quoted earlier.

Hadith: 324. It has been narrated that Maimuna bint Al-Harith (May Allah be pleased with her) had set free a slave-girl without the Prophet’s permission. When her turn came (the Prophet (PBUH) used to visit his wives in turns), she made mention of that to him saying, “Did you know I have set slave-girl free?” He said, “Have you, indeed?” She replied, “Yes”. He (PBUH) then remarked, “Had you given her to your maternal uncles, you would have your reward increased”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith brings out the following two points:

1. A woman is free to spend anything of her own property without the permission of her husband, but not of things owned by her husband.
2. To spend on the needy relatives is more meritorious than to set a slave free because to set a slave free is a Sadaqah (charity) only, while paying Sadaqah to a kinsman has a double merit as it carries the reward of Sadaqah as well as “maintaining the ties of kinship.”

Hadith: 325. Asma’ bint Abu Bakr As-Siddiq (May Allah be pleased with her) said: My mother came to me while she was still a polytheist, so I asked Messenger of Allah (PBUH), “My mother, who is ill-disposed to Islam, has come to visit me. Shall I maintain relations with her?” He (PBUH) replied, “Yes, maintain relations with your mother”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: The woman mentioned in this Hadith had come from Makkah to Al-Madinah. What this Hadith signifies is that it is essential to be kind to parents even if they are Mushrikun (polytheists) and Kuffar (disbelievers). This has also been clearly ordained in the Noble Qur’an: “… but behave with them in the world kindly”. (31:15).

Hadith: 326. Zainab Ath-Thaqafiyah (May Allah be pleased with her) the wife of `Abdullah bin Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: When Messenger of Allah (PBUH) told the women that they should give Sadaqah (charity), even if it should be some of their jewellery, I returned to `Abdullah bin Mas`ud and said, “You are a man who does not possess much, and Messenger of Allah (PBUH) has commanded us to give Sadaqah. So go and ask him if giving to you will serve the purpose; otherwise, I shall give it to someone else.” He asked me that I should better go myself. I went and found a woman of the Ansar at the door of Messenger of Allah (PBUH), waiting to ask a similar question as mine. The Prophet (PBUH) was endowed with dignity, and so we could not go in. When Bilal (May Allah be pleased with him) came out to us, we said to him: “Go to Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and tell him that there are two women at the door who have come to ask him whether it will serve them to give Sadaqah to their husbands and to orphans who are in their charge, but do not tell him who we are. Bilal (May Allah be pleased with him) went in and asked him, and Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked him who the women were. When he told him that they were a woman of the Ansar and Zainab, he asked him which Zainab it was, and when he was told it was the wife of `Abdullah bin Mas`ud, he (PBUH) said, “They will have a double reward, one for maintaining the ties of kinship and another for Sadaqah”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary:

1. We learn from this Hadith that a woman can also give Sadaqah and Zakat to her husband, provided he is poor. But its opposite is not permissible. That is to say, a husband cannot pay Zakat to his wife because he is responsible for her maintenance while wife is not obliged to do it for her husband. So, the principle deduced from it is that one who is bound to pay Zakat under the Shari`ah is not permitted to pay it to his dependents.
2. In case of need, a woman can go out of her house subject to the condition that she observes the restriction of the veil prescribed by the Shari`ah in this behalf.
3. Like men, women should also take keen interest in religious matters. They should not feel shy of doing it.

Hadith: 327.  Abu Sufyan Sakhr bin Harb (May Allah be pleased with him) mentioned Heraclius in a long Hadith and said: Heraclius asked me, “What does this Prophet (PBUH) teach you?” I said, “He orders us to worship Allah Alone and not to associate a thing with Him in worship, to discard what our ancestors said, to perform the Salat (prayer), speak the truth, and maintain the ties of kinship”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Besides Tauhid (Oneness of Allah), this Hadith enjoins punctuality in Salat and excellence of character. In all the forms of worship, Salat is the most important, and the best in the nobility of character is righteousness. After professing faith in Tauhid and belief that Muhammad (PBUH) is the last Prophet of Allah, a Muslim should be punctual in Salat and make himself a model of excellent character.

Hadith: 328.  Abu Dharr (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “You will soon conquer a land where people deal with Qirat.”And according to another version: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “You will soon conquer Egypt where Al-Qirat is frequently mentioned. So when you conquer it, treat its inhabitants well. For there lies upon you the responsibility because of blood ties or relationship (with them)”. [Muslim].
Commentary: In this Hadith, the Prophet (PBUH) has urged his Companions to treat the Egyptians nicely for the reason of maintaining the ties of kinship and for the fact that Egypt was the country of his in-laws (Mariyah, the mother of Ibrahim, and one of the Prophet’s wives was from that place). This is why this Hadith has been included in the present Chapter which deals with the subject of maintaining the ties of kinship. This Hadith is also a Prophecy of the Prophet (PBUH) due to the fact that the prophecy he had made came true. A short time after his death, Egypt became part of the Muslim empire.

Hadith: 329. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: When this Verse was revealed: “And warn your tribe (O Muhammad (PBUH)) of near kindred”. (26:214) Messenger of Allah (PBUH) called the Quraish; when they gathered, he said to them: “O sons of `Abd Shams; O sons of Ka`b bin Lu’ai, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O sons of Murrah bin Ka`b, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O sons of `Abd Manaf, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O sons of `Abdul-Muttalib, rescue yourselves from the Fire! O Fatimah, rescue yourself from the Fire, for I have no power (to protect you) from Allah in anything except that I would sustain relationship with you”. [Muslim].
Commentary:

1. This Hadith tells us that lineage in the Hereafter will not help anybody. So much so that even one’s relationship with Messenger of Allah (PBUH) shall not carry any weight on that day. The only thing that will then help in salvation will be one’s good deeds. People for whom the Prophet (PBUH) and pious men will intercede will be believers with some sins in their account and not the disbelievers devoid of Faith and good actions. Neither will anybody intercede for the infidels, nor will the infidels find salvation.
2. In preaching religion, priority must be given to one’s own close relatives. They deserve it more than anyone else, and for this reason Divine injunctions should be first of all conveyed to them.
3. Even if a Muslim’s relatives are pagans and polytheists, their rights of kinsmen and the demands of “maintaining the ties of kinship” enjoined by Islam must be fulfilled. The first and foremost demand of their rights is that they should be invited to the right path so that they will be saved from Hell-fire.

Hadith: 330. Abu Abdullah `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) said: I heard Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying openly not secretly, “The family of so-and-so (i.e., Abu Talib) are not my supporters. My supporter is Allah and the righteous believing people. But they (that family) have kinship (Rahm) with whom I will maintain good the ties of kinship”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) had made it absolutely clear that although such persons were his near relatives, he did not have any affection and friendship with them because there cannot be any affection between a pagan and a Muslim. Friendship and affection can only be for Allah and those who have faith in Him. One can accommodate the non-Muslim relatives to the extent permitted by “maintaining the ties of kinship”, provided they are not at war with the Muslims.

Hadith: 331. Abu Ayyub Khalid bin Zaid Al-Ansari (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man came to Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and said, “Direct me to a deed which will admit me to Jannah and take me away from the Fire”. The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Worship Allah and associate no partner with Him, perform As-Salat, pay Zakat, and maintain the ties of kinship”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith indicates the actions which constitute the means to attain Jannah and salvation from Hell. Thus, it makes evident that Jannah cannot be achieved by wishful thinking. One cannot get it without Faith and good deeds. In the absence of these two factors, intercession of any person will be of no avail.

Hadith: 332.  Salman bin `Amir (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “When you break fast, you should do it with a date-fruit for there is blessing in it, and if you do not find a date-fruit, break it with water for it is pure.” Messenger of Allah (PBUH) added: “Charity towards a poor person is charity, and towards a relation is both charity and maintaining the ties (of kinship)”. [Tirmidhi].
Commentary: We learn two points from this Hadith:
Firstly, it is more rewarding to break the fast with date-fruit or water. Secondly, payment of Sadaqah to one’s poor relatives carries a double reward.

Hadith: 333.  Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: I had a wife whom I loved but `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) disliked her. He asked me to divorce her and when I refused, `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) went to Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and mentioned the matter to him. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked me to divorce her. [At-Tirmidhi and Abu Dawud].
Commentary: If parents’ order to divorce one’s wife is based on the principles of Shari`ah and morality, it must be obeyed, as is evident from this Hadith. If their order is founded on other factors, then one should try to convince them politely so that they agree with one’s view on the issue. Here Ibn `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him) loved his wife for love’s sake, but his father `Umar bin Khattab (May Allah be pleased with him) disliked her basing his decision on religious grounds. This is why the Prophet (PBUH) ordered Ibn `Umar to obey his father.

Hadith: 334.  Abud-Darda’ (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: A man came to me and said, “I have a wife whom my mother commands me to divorce”. I replied him that I had heard Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying, “A parent is the best of the gates of Jannah; so if you wish, keep to the gate, or lose it.” [At-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah].
Commentary: The word “Walid,” applies to mother as well as father. As the word “Walidain” is a dual form and covers mother and father both; similarly the noun “father”, also applies to both. This Hadith also stresses that obedience of parents and submission to their order must have preference over the love for the wife as long as this order of theirs is fair and just.

Hadith: 335.  Al-Bara’ bin `Azib (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: I heard the Prophet (PBUH) saying: “A mother’s sister is equivalent to (real) mother (in status)”. [At-Tirmidhi]
Commentary: This Hadith tells us that one should be as respectful to one’s aunt (mother’s real sister) as one is to mother, as it is a virtue as well as “a form of maintaining the ties of kinship”.

Riyadh Al Saliheen > Book : Book of Misselenas
Chapter 41 : Prohibition of Disobeying Parents and severance of Relations

Allah, the Exalted, says:

“Would you then, if you were given the authority, do mischief in the land, and sever your ties of kinship? Such are they whom Allah has cursed, so that He has made them deaf and blinded their sight.” (47:22,23)
“And those who break the Covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e., they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives), and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse (i.e., they will be far away from Allah’s Mercy), and for them is the unhappy (evil) home (i.e., Hell).” (13:25)
“And your Rubb has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: `My Rubb! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.”’ (17:23,24)

Hadith: 336. Abu Bakrah Nufai` bin Al-Harith (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Shall I not inform you of the biggest of the major sins?” Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked this question thrice. We said, “Yes, O Messenger of Allah. (Please inform us.)”. He said, “Ascribing partners to Allah, and to be undutiful to your parents”. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) sat up from his reclining position and said, “And I warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony; I warn you against giving forged statement and a false testimony”. Messenger of Allah (PBUH) kept on repeating that warning till we wished he would stop. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith mentions some of the major sins. A major sin is one against which there is a serious warning in the Noble Qur’an and Hadith. When disobedience to parents is mentioned along with Shirk (polytheism), it makes the fact evident that both of these are very serious sins. Similar is the case of telling a lie and false testimony, which in the incident mentioned in this Hadith made Messenger of Allah (PBUH) to leave his pillow and sit attentively. It indicates that the latter two are serious. May Allah protect all Muslims from all such sins.

Hadith: 337.  Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “(Of the) major sins are: to ascribe partners to Allah, disobey parents, murder someone, and to take a false oath (intentionally)”. [Al-Bukhari].
Commentary: There are many more major sins which have been enlisted and discussed at length by Muhaddathun in independent volumes, such as Az-Zawajir `an iqtraf-al-Kaba’ir, Kitab-al-Kaba’ir by Adh-Dhahabi. This Hadith mentions some of the major sins enumerated by the Prophet (PBUH) on a particular occasion. We can also say that the sins mentioned here are some of the most serious among the major sins.

Hadith: 338.  `Abdullah bin `Amr bin Al-`as (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “It is one of the gravest sins to abuse one’s parents.” It was asked (by the people): “O Messenger of Allah, can a man abuse his own parents?” Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “He abuses the father of somebody who, in return, abuses the former’s father; he then abuses the mother of somebody who, in return, abuses his mother”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Another narration is: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “One of the major sins is to curse one’s parents”. It was submitted: “O Messenger of Allah! How can a man curse his own parents?” He (PBUH) said, “When someone curses the parents of another man who in return abuses the former’s father; and when someone abuses the mother of another man who in return abuses his mother.”
Commentary: We learn from this Hadith that one should not abuse anyone’s parents, because in the event, he is paid in the same coin, he will be responsible for disgracing his own parents.

Hadith: 339.  Abu Muhammad Jubair bin Mut`im (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “The person who severs the bond of kinship will not enter Jannah”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith poses a serious threat to those who violate the Divine injunctions of maintaining good ties of kinship. In spite of such a serious warning, this major sin is very common in our present-day society. The purpose of this warning is that Muslims prevent themselves from it. May Allah save us from it.

Hadith: 340.  Abu ‘Isa Al-Mughirah bin Shu`bah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Allah has forbidden you: disobedience to your mothers, to withhold (what you should give), or demand (what you do not deserve), and to bury your daughters alive. And Allah dislikes idle talk, to ask too many questions (for things which will be of no benefit to one), and to waste your wealth”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Riyadh Al Saliheen > Book : Book of Misselenas
Chapter 42 : Excellence in doing Good to the Friends of Parents and other Relatives

Hadith: 341.  `Abdullah bin `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) reported: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “The finest act of goodness is that a person should treat kindly the loved ones of his father”. [Muslim].

Hadith: 342.  `Abdullah bin Dinar reported: `Abdullah bin `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) met a bedouin on his way to Makkah, he greeted him, offered him to mount the donkey he was riding and gave him the turban he was wearing on his head. Ibn Dinar said to him: “May Allah make you pious! Bedouins can be satisfied with anything you give them (i.e., what you have given the bedouin is too much). Upon this, `Abdullah bin `Umar said, the father of this man was one of `Umar’s friends whom he loved best, and I heard Messenger of Allah saying, “The finest act of goodness is the good treatment of someone whom one’s father loves”.

Another narration goes: When `Abdullah bin `Umar (May Allah be pleased with them) set out to Makkah, he kept a donkey with him to ride when he would get tired from the riding of the camel, and had a turban which he tied round his head. One day, as he was riding the donkey, a bedouin happened to pass by him. He (`Abdullah bin `Umar) said, “Aren’t you so-and-so?” The bedouin said, “Yes”. He (`Abdullah bin `Umar) gave him his donkey and his turban and said, “Ride this donkey, and tie this turban round your head”. Some of his companions said, “May Allah forgive you, you gave to this bedouin the donkey which you enjoyed to ride for change, and the turban which you tied round your head”.`Abdullah bin `Umar said,”I heard Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying, `The finest act of goodness is the kind treatment of a person to the loved ones of his father after his death,’ and the father of this person was a friend of `Umar (May Allah be pleased with him). [Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith teaches that after the death of one’s parents, one should maintain contact with their friends and treat them nicely. Besides being a great virtue it is warranted by the needs for showing compassion to relatives. To forget friends of one’s parents and break contact with them is condemned by the Shari`ah.

Hadith: 343.  Abu Usaid Malik bin Rabi`ah As-Sa`idi (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: We were sitting with Messenger of Allah (PBUH) when a man of Banu Salamah came to him and asked, “O Messenger of Allah! Is there any obedience to parents left that I can show to them after their death?” He (PBUH) replied, “Yes, to pray for them, to supplicate for their forgiveness, to fulfill their promises after their death, to maintain the ties of kinship which cannot be maintained except through them, and honour their friends.” [Abu Dawud].
Commentary: We learn from this Hadith that one should consider the life of one’s parents a blessing because their life provides one with an opportunity to serve them wholeheartedly, which is ordained by Allah. If one wants to be nice to them after their death, one should adopt the methods mentioned in this Hadith. It needs to be noted that it does not mention the ceremonies like recitation of the Noble Qur’an on the third, seventh and fortieth day after the death of a person, in vogue in our society. All these methods of conveying the reward of virtuous deeds or rites are wrong for the reason that they are neither helpful for the dead nor the living. What really benefits the dead as well as living, is prayer and begging forgiveness from Allah. In this Hadith, these have been regarded as acts of beneficence for the deceased parents. It clearly means that the children will be rewarded for the virtuous acts they do for their parents and the status of the deceased parents will also be elevated in the next world. The acceptance of the prayer in favour of the deceased parents is also confirmed from that Hadith also which tells that death brings to an end all the activities, except the following:

Firstly, an ongoing Sadaqah (Sadaqah Jariyah); like the digging of a well, the building of a mosque, etc.,
Secondly, knowledge which benefits Muslims; Thirdly, prayers of virtuous offspring.

Hadith: 344. `Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported: I never felt jealous of any of the wives of the Prophet (PBUH) as much as I did of Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her), although I have never seen her, but the Prophet (PBUH) used to mention her very often. Whenever he slaughtered a sheep, he would cut it into pieces and send them to the women friends of Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her). When I sometimes said to him: “You treat Khadijah in such a way as if there is no woman on earth except her”. He (PBUH) would say, “Khadijah was such and such (commending her and speaking well of her), and I had children from her”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Another narration is: And if he (PBUH) slaughtered a sheep, he would send meat to the friends of Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her) as a present as much as would suffice them.

Another narration is: When a sheep was slaughtered, he (PBUH) would say, “Send this meat to Khadijah’s friends.” Once, Halah bint Khuwailid (May Allah be pleased with her), sister of Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her), sought permission of Messenger of Allah (PBUH) to enter. He recognized and recalled to his mind the manner of Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her) and was deeply moved. He said, “O Allah, she must be Halah bint Khuwailid”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: This Hadith brings out the following five points:

1. A brief reference to the great qualities of Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her).
2. The love that Messenger of Allah (PBUH) had for Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her) because of her great qualities.
3. Reference to the kindness which Messenger of Allah (PBUH) continued to show to the women who were close to Khadijah (May Allah be pleased with her).
4. Expression of the sentiments which the remembrance of some deceased friend brings with it. These sentiments can be pleasing as well as painful.

Hadith: 345. Anas bin Malik (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I set out along with Jarir bin `Abdullah Al-Bajali (May Allah be pleased with him) on a journey and he served me. I said to him: “Don’t do that.” Thereupon, he said, “I have seen the Ansar doing this with Messenger of Allah (PBUH), and I swore by Allah, whenever I accompany anyone of the Ansar, I would serve him”. [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary:

1. This Hadith gives a fair idea of the love that the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH) had for him. It was so profound that they regarded it a great honour to serve the servants of the Prophet (PBUH), even if they were younger in age.
2. It also tells of the hospitality of the Companions of the Prophet (PBUH). They neither felt any hesitation in showing respect to their youngers nor were they shy of serving them.
3. The Companions of Messenger of Allah (PBUH) had a friendly, fraternal and faithful relationship with one another and it was founded on a common bond in them – the gratitude for the Prophet (PBUH).

Riyadh Al Saliheen >
Book17 : Prohibited Actions

Riyadh Al Saliheen > Book : Prohibited Actions
Chapter 353 : Prohibition of giving preference to Children over one another in giving Gifts, etc.

Hadith: 1773. An-Nu`man bin Bashir (May Allah be pleased with them) said: My father took me to the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) and said to him: “I have gifted one of my slaves to this son of mine.” The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Have you given such gift to every son of yours?” He replied, “No.” Thereupon he said, “Take this gift back.”

Another narration is: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Be mindful of your obligation to Allah and do justice in respect of your children.” My father came back and revoked his gift.

Another narration is: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked, “Have you other children besides this one?” He said, “Yes.” The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked, “Have you awarded a gift like this to all of them.” He said, “No.” The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “I am not going to bear witness to this act of injustice.”

Another narration is: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) asked, “Do you not except goodness from all of them as you except from him?” He said, “Yes, of course.” The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “Then don’t do this (i.e., do not give a gift to one son only).” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: We learn from this Hadith the following important points:

1.In every matter, one should consult scholars and experts of Shari`ah. This was the practice of the Companions (May Allah be pleased with them).

2.Parents should deal with all their children with equity and justice. Preferential treatment with any child affects them adversely. Obviously injustice creates tension for parents as well as children and eventually family ties are broken.

3.This Hadith is also advanced by those `Ulama’ in support of their contention that if a person wants to distribute his property among his children during his lifetime, he should not make any discrimination among his male and female children and should give an equal share to all of them.

Riyadh Al Saliheen > Book : Prohibited Actions
Chapter 367 : Prohibition of attributing wrong Fatherhood

Hadith: 1802. Sa`d bin Abu Waqqas (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “He who (falsely) attributes his fatherhood to anyone besides his real father, knowing that he is not his father, will be forbidden to enter Jannah.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

Hadith: 1803. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) said: The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Do not turn away from your fathers, for he who turns away from his father, will be guilty of committing an act of disbelief.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
Commentary: To attribute one’s fatherhood to someone other than one’s real father due to the latter’s poverty or in order to live a life of ease and comfort under the care of the person to whom one wishes to attribute his fatherhood, knowing that it is not lawful, is an act of Kufr (disbelief). If someone, however, does so without considering this unlawful act to be lawful, will in fact, be committing a major sin for which he will be punished in Hell-fire. This Hadith stresses the importance of safeguarding one’s lineage and that of fulfilling the fathers’ rights over their children.

Hadith: 1804. Yazid bin Sharik bin Tariq (May Allah be pleased with him) said: I saw `Ali (May Allah be pleased with him) giving a Khutbah (sermon) from the pulpit and I heard him saying: “By Allah, we have no book to read except Allah’s Book and what is written in this scroll. He unrolled the scroll which showed a list of what sort of camels to be given as blood-money, and other legal matters relating to killing game in the sanctuary of Makkah and the expiation thereof. In it was also written: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said: `Al-Madinah is a sanctuary from `Air to Thaur (mountains). He who innovates in this territory new ideas in Islam, commits a sin therein, or shelters the innovators, will incur the Curse of Allah, the angels, and all the people, and Allah will accept from him neither repentance nor a ransom on the Day of Resurrection. The asylum (pledge of protection) granted by any Muslim (even of the) lowest status is to be honoured and respected by all other Muslims, and whoever betrays a Muslim in this respect (by violating the pledge) will incur the Curse of Allah, the angels, and all the people; and Allah will accept from him neither repentance nor a ransom on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever attributes his fatherhood to someone other than his (real) father, and takes someone else as his master other than his (real) master without his permission, will incur the Curse of Allah, the angels and all the people, and Allah will accept from him neither repentance nor a ransom on the Day of Resurrection.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: Air is a small mountain near Al-Madinah and Thaur is also a small mountain behind the famous Mount Uhud. The area between these two mountains is the forbidden area. It means that like the Haram of Makkah, no game should be killed, no trees or plants of this area should be cut and no disbeliever or polytheists should enter its boundary. The words “a’dl” and “sarf” translated here as ‘repentance’ and ‘ransom’ respectively also mean obligatory and voluntary (Nafl) acts of worship.

It has been established here that any act of disobedience or sin committed in Al-Madinah becomes a greater sin than if it is committed anywhere else. This Hadith also establishes that the claim that `Ali (May Allah be pleased with him) was given some specific knowledge of Khilafah (caliphate), which was not given to anybody else is also false. The Hadith also makes it clear that attributing one’s fatherhood to someone other than his real father is a grave sin.

Hadith: 1805. Abu Dharr (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) saying: “A person who attributes his fatherhood to anyone other than his real father, knowing that he is not his father, commits an act of disbelief. And he who makes a claim of anything which in fact does not belong to him, is none of us. He should make his abode in Hell, and he who labels anyone as disbeliever or calls him the enemy of Allah and he is in fact not so, his charge will revert to him.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
Commentary: These particular sins mentioned in the Hadith are great and are strictly forbidden. Every Muslim should remain away from them. May Allah save us all from these sins.

FROM ADAB AL MUFRAD

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 1. Parents

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 1. Honouring Parents: The Words of Allah Almighty: “We have instructed man to honour his parents.” (29:8)

1. Abu ‘Amr ash-Shaybani said, “The owner of this house (and he pointed at the house of ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ud) said, “I asked the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, which action Allah loves best. He replied, ‘Prayer at its proper time.’ ‘Then what?’ I asked. He said, ‘Then kindness to parents.” I asked, ‘Then what?’ He replied, ‘Then jihad in the Way of Allah.'” He added, “He told me about these things. If I had asked him to tell me more, he would have told me more.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth exhorts towards observing the Prayers at their stipulated times, and being dutiful to parents. It also shows the keenness of the companions of Allah’s Messengerﷺ for good deeds, and the importance of giving responses to questions based on the condition and need of the questioner. Otherwise, heﷺ had mentioned faith in Allah and His Messenger, Jihad and the well-performed pilgrimage, in that order, in other narrations as the dearest deeds to Allah – the most High

2. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar said, “The pleasure of the Lord lies in the pleasure of the parent. The anger of the Lord lies in the anger of the parent.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: This is because Allah – the Mighty and Exalted – has ordered obedience and dutifulness to the parent. So, they must be obeyed except when they order disobedience to Allah, the most High. The hadeeth is also reported from the Messengerﷺ as from his saying and graded authentic by Imam Al-Albaanee in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah (516).

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 2. Dutifulness to One’s Mother

3. Bahz ibn Hakim’s grandfather said, “I asked, ‘Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. I asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. I asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. I asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. I asked, ‘Then to whom should I be dutiful?’ ‘Your father,’ he replied, ‘and then the next closest relative and then the next.'”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: (1) The eargerness of the companions of Allah’s Messengerﷺ to know the ranks of good deeds is shown in this hadeeth. (2) Preference is given for the mother because she suffered the difficulties of pregnancy, child birth, breast-feeding and general care. (3) The fact that the nearest relatives should take precedence over others than them when we show kindness is also evinced in the narration.

4. ‘Ata’ ibn Yasar said that a man came to Ibn ‘Abbas and said, “I asked a woman to marry me and she refused to marry me. Another man asked her and she agreed to marry him. I became jealous and killed her. Is there any way for me to repent?” He asked, “Is your mother alive?” “No,” he replied. He said, “repent to Allah Almighty and try to draw near Him as much as you can.”
‘Ata’ said, “I went to Ibn ‘Abbas and asked him, ‘Why did you ask him whether his mother was alive?’ He replied, ‘I do not know of any action better for bringing a person near to Allah than dutifulness to his mother.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The people of knowledge should guide the rest of the people towards the things that benefit them such as how to repent from sins, no matter their gravity. Also, being obedient and kind to the mother is mentioned in this hadeeth as an atonement for the sin of taking a soul unlawfully. Jealousy could lead to backbiting, slander, hatred and worse sins such as killing.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 3. Dutifulness to One’s Father

5. Abu Hurayra said, “The Prophet was asked, ‘Messenger of Allah, to whom should I be dutiful?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. He was asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. He was asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. He was asked, ‘Then whom?’ ‘Your mother,’ he replied. He was asked, ‘Then whom?’ He replied, ‘Your father.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Being kindhearted and respectful towards the father and the obligation of doing so is evinced in this hadeeth.

6. Abu Hurayra reported: “A man came to the Prophet of Allah, May Allah bless him and grant him peace, and asked, ‘What do you command me to do?’ He replied, ‘Be dutiful towards your mother.’ Then he asked him the same question again and he replied, ‘Be dutiful towards your mother.’ He repeated it yet again and the Prophet replied, ‘Be dutiful towards your mother.’ He repeated the question a fourth time and the reply was, ‘Be dutiful towards your mother.’ Then he put the question a fifth time and the Prophet said, ‘Be dutiful towards your father.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 4. Dutifulness to Parents, even if they are unjust

7. Ibn ‘Abbas said, “If any Muslim obeys Allah regarding his parents, Allah will open two gates of the Garden for him. If there is only one parent, then one gate will be opened. If one of them is angry, then

Allah will not be pleased with him until that parent is pleased with him.” He was asked, “Even if they wrong him?” “Even if they wrong him” he replied.
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 5. Gentle words to Parents

8. Taysala ibn Mayyas said, “I was with the Najadites [Kharijites] when I committed wrong actions which I supposed were major wrong actions. I mentioned that to Ibn ‘Umar. He inquired, ‘What are they?” I replied, ‘Such-and-such.’ He stated, ‘These are not major wrong actions. There are nine major wrong actions. They are: associating others with Allah, killing someone, desertion from the army when it is advancing, slandering a chaste woman, usury, consuming an orphan’s property, heresy in the mosque, scoffing, and causing one’s parents to weep through disobedience.’ Ibn ‘Umar then said to me, ‘Do you wish to separate yourself from the Fire? Do you want to enter the Fire?’ ‘By Allah, yes!’ I replied. He asked, ‘Are your parents still alive?’ I replied, ‘My mother is.’ He said, ‘By Allah, if you speak gently to her and feed her, then you will enter the Garden as long as you avoid the major wrong actions.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: (1) This hadeeth highlights the importance of keeping the company of the people of Sunnah and referringto the scholars to understand the true position regarding any matter in the religion. Perhaps Taysala, was influenced by the Najadites to believe wrongly that the sin he commited was a major one. (2) We also learn from this hadeeth that sins are not entirely of the same category; some are major while others are considered minor with respect to the major ones and not by way of trivializing sin. (3) One of the meanings of the expression, yastaskhiru is to burden people and to make them do a job without pay. Some of the scholars even consider it the most preponderant meaning here for its been mentioned after usury and consumption of an orphan’s wealth both of which are illegitimate means to seek wealth. (4) The permissibility of swearing without been asked to swear while giving a religious verdict or admonition is pointed to in the narration. (5) As long as one abstains from the major sins, speaking kindly to parents and feeding them is surely a means to attain admission to the Paradise by Allah’s leave.

9. Hisham ibn ‘Urwa related this ayat from his father, “Take them under your wing, out of mercy, with due humility.” (17:24)
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The exemption to this is when their desire involves disobedience to Allah, the Mighty and Exalted; for the religion prohibits obedience to a creature in disobedience to the Creator.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 6. Repaying Parents

10. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “A child cannot repay his father unless he finds him as a slave and the buys him and sets him free.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: It is as if the slave is non-existent and that by his freedom he comes into existence such that the child’s action here, is as that of his parents through whom he came into existence from non-existence.

11. Sa’id ibn Abi Burda said, “I heard my father sat that Ibn ‘Umar saw a Yamani man going around the House while carrying his mother on his back, saying, ‘I am your humble camel. If her mount is frightened, I am not frightened.’ Then he asked, ‘Ibn ‘Umar? Do you think that I have repaid her?’ He replied, ‘No, not even for a single groan.’

“Ibn ‘Umar did tawaf and came to the Maqam and prayed two rak’ats. He said, ‘Ibn Abi Musa, every two rak’ats make up for everything that has happened between them.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The pains of childbirth and nursing endured by the mother and the tremendous reward and high rank she earns as a result are highlights in this hadeeth. Therefore, the parents must be shown kindness and great respect. The Tawaf and performance of the two units of prayer after it behind the station of Ibrahim are two major means to seek expiation of sins

12. Marwan used to make Abu Hurayra his agent and he used to be located in Dhu’l-Hulayfa. His mother was in one house and he was in another. When he wanted to go out, he would stop at her door and say, “Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.” She would reply, “And peace be upon you, my son, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.” Then he said, “May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.” She answered, “May Allah have mercy on you as you were dutiful to me when I was old.” Whenever he wanted to go inside, he would do something similar.
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

13. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said, “A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and made a pledge to him that he would do hijra. He left his parents who were in tears. The Prophet said, ‘Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them weep.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This further evinces the virtue of dutifulness to parents and warns against being sources of sadness to them. The necessity of correcting mistakes also forms a point of benefit in the hadeeth.

14. Abu Hazim reported that Abu Murra, the mawla of Umm Hani’ bint Abi Talib had told him that he rode with Abu Hurayra to his land in al-‘Aqiq. When he entered his land, he shouted out in his loudest voice, “Peace be upon you, mother, and the mercy of Allah and His blessing!” She replied, “And peace be upon you and the mercy of Allah and His blessing.” He said, “May Allah have mercy on you as you raised me when I was a child.” She replied, “My son, may Allah repay you well and be pleased with you as you were dutiful towards me when I was old.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: From what gladdens parents is the child’s dutifulness to them, and Abu Hurayra’s mother showed appreciation in the best manner by saying: Jazakallahu khayran (meaning: may Allah reward you well). As regards Abu Hurayra’s name, Imam Adh-Dhahabee (الله رحمه ( said: “There is some variance on what his actual name is. However, the most preponderant is Abdur-Rahman bin Sakhr.”

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 7. Disobedience to Parents

15. Abu Bakra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Shall I tell you which is the worst of the major wrong actions?” “Yes, Messenger of Allah,” they replied. He said, “Associating something else with Allah and disobeying parents.” he had been reclining, but then he said up and said, “And false witness.” Abu Bakr said, “He continued to repeat it until I said, ‘Is he never going to stop?'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Allah’s Messengerﷺ would show how crucial any matter was either by repeating a question regarding the matter or employing emphasis or even changing his posture, all of which he employed in this hadeeth. He could also mildly touch the companion on the chest or hold his hand amongst other means. (2) The narration shows that some major sins are still worse than some others, and from the worst ones is offending the parents, rebelling against them and severing relationship with them which are all contradictory to being dutiful to them. (3) It also indicates that the companions (RA)had great concerns for the Prophetﷺ

16. Warrad, the scribe of al-Mughira ibn Shu’ba, said, “Mu’awiya wrote to al-Mughira, saying, ‘Write down for me what you heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say.'” Warrad said, “He dictated to me and I wrote out, ‘I heard him forbid asking too many questions, wasting money and chit-chat.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadith encourages the recitation of the mentioned expressions of remembrance after the obligatory prayers. The prohibition of squandering wealth apparently connects the narration to the chapter heading.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 8. “Allah curses whoever curses his parents”

17. Abu’t-Tufayl said, “‘Ali was asked, ‘Did the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, give you something special which he did not give to anyone else?’ He replied, ‘The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, did not give me anything special which he did not give to everyone else except for what I have in my sword scabbard.’ He brought out a piece of paper. Written on that paper was: ‘Allah curses anyone who sacrifices an animal to something other than Allah. Allah curses anyone who steals a milestone. Allah curses anyone who curses his parents. Allah curses anyone who gives shelter to an innovator.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: (1) Abdullah bin Saba and his cohorts maliciously spread falsehood that the Messengerﷺ had granted some special things to ‘Ali which he did not grant to the rest of the companions (RA)from which is the right to assume the leadership of the Muslims after the Messenger’s death. So, the people used to seek clarification from ‘Ali ; hence the question. In some other wordings of the same hadeeth, he grew furious at the question. (2) The booklet was from the documentation of hadeeth that took place during the lifetime of Allah’s Messengerﷺ. (3) The word محدثات is reported with the dal having a Kasra, and so it would mean, an offender; and with a Fatha so that it means an innovation. So in the first case the expression in which it occurs would mean, “whoever gives shelter to an offender” and in the second case, “whoever supports an innovation”. Giving support to innovation includes being pleased with it, tolerating it and not controverting and refuting it. (4) The hadeeth warns against cursing one’s parents.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 9. Being Dutiful to Parents as long as that does not entail disobedience to Allah

18. Abu’d-Darda’ said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, recommended nine things to me: ‘Do not associate anything with Allah, even if you are cut to pieces or burned. Do not abandon a prescribed prayer deliberately. Anyone who abandons it will forfeit Allah’s protection. Do not drink wine – it is the key to every evil. Obey your parents. If they command you to abandon your worldly possessions, then leave them for them. Do not contend with those in power, even if you think that you are in the right. Do not run away from the army when it is advances, even if you are killed while your companions run away. Spend on your wife out of your means. Do not raise a stick against your wife. Cause your family to fear Allah, the Almighty and Exalted.'”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: This hadeeth tells us about some of the harms that result from the iniquities it mentioned. It emphasizes the obligation of giving obedience to our parents in every situation and being ready to part with our possessions for their sake except when it entails sinfulness. And as regards what they could take from the wealth of their children, Allah’s Messenger ]r[ referred to them: “…they (i.e. the children) and their possessions are yours when you are in need of them.” However, explaining the hadeeth, Imam Al-Albaanee (الله رحمه (averred: “it is not without exception, that a father could take just whatever he desires from the wealth of his child; not at all. He should only take what he needs.” See: As-Saheehah (2564). This hadeeth also shows the necessity of spending on our wives, and teaching and enforcing Islamically acceptable patterns of behaviour. We should not leave the members of our household without discipline, but when they are, they must be treated in the best of ways. The husband has a huge responsibility to order his household to fear Allah – the Mighty and Exalted – and so, he must also fear Allah – the most High – regarding himself and in his dealings. The right teacher guides the student towards what benefits him and warns him against whatever may harm him.

19. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said, “A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, ‘I have come to make you a pledge that will do hijra although I have left my parents in tears.” The Prophet said, ‘Go back to them and make them laugh as you made them cry.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

20. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said, “A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, wanting to do jihad. The Prophet asked, ‘Are your parents alive?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied. he said, ‘Then exert yourself on their behalf.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Imam An-Nawawee (الله رحمه (explained: “All this is evidence for the greatness of the virtue of being dutiful to them (i.e. the parents) and that it is given preference over jihad. It also contains evidence for the statement of the scholars that it is not permissible to go for jihad except with their permission if they are both Muslims.” Additionally, exerting oneself in the service of parents is also reffered to as jihad. The hadeeth evinces the fact that the leader should be in charge of organizing the matters of jihad; considering the conditions of each of the followers, and giving preponderance for issues of personal benefit over those of general benefit.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 10. The One who Fails his Parents will not enter the Garden

21. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Disgrace! Disgrace! Disgrace!” They said, “Messenger of Allah, who?” He said, “The one who fails his parents or one of them when they are old will enter the Fire.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Emphasy is shown in this hadeeth for kind treatment of and respect for parents, and the tremendous benefit that doing so entails: entrance into the Paradise and salvation from the Fire. The one who abandons his parents faces entrance into the Fire in disgrace – We seek Allah’s refuge from the Fire.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 11. Allah prolongs the life of someone who is dutiful towards his parents

22. Mu’adh said, “Bliss belongs to someone who is dutiful towards his parents. Allah Almighty will prolong his life.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 12. One does not ask forgiveness for his father if he is an idolater

23. Ibn ‘Abbas mentioned the words of the Almighty, “When one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say ‘Ugh!’ to them out of irritation and do not be harsh with them but speak to them with gentleness and generosity. Take them under your wing, out of mercy, with due humility and say: ‘Lord, show mercy to them as they did in looking after me when I was small.” (17:23-24) He said, “This was abrogated in Surat at-Tawba : ‘It is not right for the Prophet and those who have iman to ask forgiveness for the mushrikun even if they are close relatives after it has become clear to them that they are the Companions of the Blazing Fire.’ (9:113)”
Commentary: That is, the verse in al-Isra orders kindness to parents from which is seeking forgiveness for them after their death whether they were Muslims or not. So the verse in at-Tawba abrogated this ruling and prohibited seeking Allah’s forgiveness for one’s relatives amongst the non-Muslims which includes a polytheist father.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 13. Dutifulness towards a parent who is an idolater

24. Sa’id ibn Abi Waqqas said: “Four ayats were revealed about me. The first was when my mother swore she would neither eat nor drink until I left Muhammad, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. Allah Almighty revealed, ‘But if they try to make you associate something with Me about which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. Keep company with them correctly and courteously in this worldÉ’ (31:15) The second was when I took a sword that I admired and said, ‘Messenger of Allah, give me this!’ Then the ayat was revealed: ‘They will ask you about booty.’ (8:1) The third was when I was ill and the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, came to me and I said, ‘Messenger of Allah, I want to divide my property. Can I will away a half?’ He said, ‘No.’ ‘A third?’ I asked. He was silent and so after that it was allowed to will away a third. The fourth was when I had been drinking wine with some of the Ansar. One of them hit my nose with the jawbone of a camel. I went to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and Allah Almighty revealed the prohibition of wine.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: We learn from this hadeeth that one could tell others about Allah’s favors on him if it will not lead him to self-importance. The fact that the parents should not be followed when they order disbelief or any other act of disobedience to Allah the most High is also deduced from the hadeeth. Even when the parents do that, one should deal with them kindly, being mild and generous to them, inviting them to faith and obedience to Allah with good words and in a nice manner. In another wording of the same hadeeth collected by Al-Bukhaari and Muslim in their Saheehs, Allah’s Messengerﷺ said: “that you leave your heirs rich is better than leaving them poor, having to beg the people.” So, this hadeeth also points to the fact that, generally speaking, it is better to be rich through legitimate means than to remain poor, having to beg the people. Taking wine is prohibited “for it is the key to every evil”.

25. Asma’ bint Abi Bakr said, “In the time of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, my mother came to me hoping (I would be dutiful). I asked the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, ‘Do I have to treat her well?’ ‘Yes,’ he replied.”

Ibn ‘Uyayna said, “Then Allah revealed about her, ‘Allah does not forbid you from being good to those who have not fought you in the deen.’ (60:8)”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth indicates the eargerness of the companions (RA)to know the rulings of the religion, and that they gave preference for the religion whenever it conflicted with issues of family ties. The hadeeth also teach that the Muslim child should give maintenance to the non-Muslim parents as a matter of obligation and that family ties could be kept with nonMuslim relatives within the same limits. The visit of Asma’s mother to her in Madina was during the period of the Treaty of Hudaibiyya as is indicated in other wordings of the hadeeth.

26. Ibn ‘Umar said, “‘Umar saw a silk robe for sale. He said, ‘Messenger of Allah, would you buy this robe and wear it on Jumu’a and when delegations visit you?’ He replied, ‘Only a person who has no portion in the Next World could wear this.’ Then the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was given some robes made of the same material. He sent one of the robes to ‘Umar. ‘Umar exclaimed, ‘How can I wear it when you said what you said about it?’ The Prophet replied, ‘I did not give it to you so that you could wear it. You can sell it or give it to someone.’ ‘Umar sent it to a brother of his in Makka who had not yet become Muslim.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:Umar’s proposal that the Messenger of Allahﷺ should wear the robe on such important occasions like the Friday or when delegations visit him was upheld by the Messengerﷺ; he only rejected the silk robe particularly, and any other prohibited dress or mode of dressing as is known from other narrations by extension. However, the hadeeth shows the permissibility of selling silk clothes, earning profit thereby and connecting ties of kinship with non-Muslim relatives by giving them gifts.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 14. A person should not revile his parents

27. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said,
“Reviling one’s parents is one of the great wrong actions.” They asked, “How could he revile them?” He said, “He reviles a man who then in turn reviles his mother and father.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:The Messenger of Allahﷺ ordered not to revile one’s parents by first uttering a stirring statement that invited the attention of the listener and showed the weight of the matter. Although it is against man’s innate disposition to revile his parents, his insult of another person’s parents could lead to that. As such, the hadeeth is evidence that a thing becomes forbidden if it basically leads to something forbidden.

28. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr said, “A man’s reviling his father is one of the major wrong actions in the sight of Allah Almighty.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary:The statement takes a cue from that of Allah’s Messengerﷺ in the hadeeth that just preceded.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 15. The punishment for disobeying parents

29. Abu Bakra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “There is no wrong action more likely to bring punishment in this world in addition to what is stored up in the Next World than oppression and severing ties of kinship.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:This hadeeth proves that retribution for sins is quickened against those who commit the sins depending on the sin committed, and that severing the ties of kinship and oppression are quicker to invite retribution than other sins. Conversely, “there is nothing regarding which Allah is obeyed that is quicker to bring reward as connecting the ties of kinship.” See: Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah (978).

30. ‘Imran ibn Husayn said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘What do you say about fornication, drinking wine and theft?’ ‘Allah and His Messenger know best,’ we replied. He stated, ‘They are acts of outrage and there is punishment for them, but shall I tell you which is the greatest of the great wrong actions? Associating with Allah Almighty and disobeying parents.’ He had been reclining, but then he sat up and said, ‘and lying.'”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary:

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 16. Making Parents weep

31. Ibn ‘Umar said, “Making parents weep is part of disobedience and one of the major wrong actions.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 17. The Supplication of Parents

32.Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Three supplications are answered without a doubt: the supplication of someone who is oppressed, the supplication of someone on a journey, and the supplication of parents for their children.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary:As for the oppressed it is due to the stress inflicted on him and his been dominated harshly. As regards the traveler, it is for his lonesomeness and toil in his journey. Regarding the parents, it is because after bearing the pains of pregnancy, childbirth and nursing, they look forward to the child with strong emotional attachments. The hadeeth warns against disappointing and annoying parents.

33.Abu Hurayra reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “No human child has ever spoken in the cradle except for ‘Isa ibn Maryam, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and the companion of Jurayj.” Abu Hurayra asked, “Prophet of Allah, who was the companion of Jurayj?” The Prophet replied, “Jurayj was a monk who lived in a hermitage. There was a cowherd who used to come to the foot of his hermitage and a woman from the village used to come to the cowherd.

“One day his mother came while he was praying and called out, ‘Jurayj!’ He asked himself, ‘My mother or my prayer?’ He concluded that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted to him a second time and he again asked himself, ‘My mother or my prayer?’ He thought that he should prefer the prayer. She shouted a third time and yet again he asked himself, ‘My mother or my prayer?’ He again concluded that he should prefer the prayer. When he did not answer her, she said, ‘Jurayj, may Allah not let you die until you have looked at the faces of the beautiful women.’ Then she left.

“Then the village woman was brought before the king after she had given birth to a child. He asked, ‘Whose is it?’ ‘Jurayj’s,’ she replied. He asked, ‘The man in the hermitage?’ ‘Yes,’ she answered. He ordered, ‘Destroy his hermitage and bring him to me.’ They hacked at his hermitage with axes until it collapsed. They bound his hand to his neck with a rope and took him along to the king. When he passed by the beautiful women, he saw them and smiled. They were looking at him along with the people.

“The king asked, ‘Do you know what this woman claims?’ ‘What does she claim?’ he asked. He replied, ‘She claims that you are the father of her child.’ He asked her, ‘Where is the child?’ They replied, ‘It is in her room.’ He went to the child and said, ‘Who is your father?’ ‘The cowherd,’ he replied. The king said, ‘Shall we build your hermitage out of gold?’ ‘No,’ he replied. He asked, ‘Of silver?’ ‘No,’ he replied. The king asked, ‘What shall we build it with?’ He said, ‘Put it back the way you found it.’ Then the king asked, ‘What made you smile.’ ‘Something I recognised,’ he replied, ‘The supplication of my mother overtook me.’ Then he told him about it.”
“The king asked, ‘Do you know what this woman claims?’ ‘What does she claim?’ he asked. He replied, ‘She claims that you are the father of her child.’ He asked her, ‘Where is the child?’ They replied, ‘It is in her room.’ He went to the child and said, ‘Who is your father?’ ‘The cowherd,’ he replied. The king said, ‘Shall we build your hermitage out of gold?’ ‘No,’ he replied. He asked, ‘Of silver?’ ‘No,’ he replied. The king asked, ‘What shall we build it with?’ He said, ‘Put it back the way you found it.’ Then the king asked, ‘What made you smile.’ ‘Something I recognised,’ he replied, ‘The supplication of my mother overtook me.’ Then he told him about it.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:This hadeeth teaches the following: (1) That a man remains in seclusion with a woman who is not his wife or those with whom he is permanently prohibited in marriage is a precursor to great evils. (2) That the supplication of Jurayj’s mother overtook him indicated that to respond to his mother’s call was more important. (3) The excellence of the scholar over the worshipper. Hafidh Ibn Hajar (rahimahullah) said: If Jurayj were to be a scholar he would have known that responding to his mother is more important.” (4) Allah the Mighty and Exalted protects the truthful and provides them ways out of trials. However, this may be delayed in some instances so that they earn more reward for their patience and hope in Him during trials, or just as a way of further rectifying and purifying them. (5) It evinces the fact that Allah, the most High, grants Karaamaat (extra-ordinary events) to whomever He wills among His slaves as is the creed of the Ahl asSunnah wal-Jamaa’ah. (6) Whoever is in the position to discipline a person or people should do so with leniency for despite the fact that Jurayj’s mother was angry she did not supplicate that he should fall into sin with the harlots. (7) Children should desist from whatever will make them incur the anger of their parents as long as doing so does not entail sinfulness

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 18. Offering Islam to a Christian mother

34. Abu Hurayra said, “Neither Jew nor Christian has heard me and then not loved me. I wanted my mother to become Muslim, but she refused. I told her about it and she still refused. I went to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, ‘Pray to Allah for me.’ He did so and I went to her. She was inside the door of the house and said, ‘Abu Hurayra, I have become Muslim.’ I told the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and I asked, ‘Make supplication to Allah for me and my mother.’ He said, ‘O Allah, make people love Abu Hurayra and his mother.'”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary:The hadeeth contains evidence that it is permissible to request a person whose knowledge and piety is trusted to supplicate for a non-Muslim to accept Islam. It also shows the merit of Abu Hurayra and his mother ,(and the importance of inviting one’s non-Muslim relatives to accept Islam employing supplications, good words and beautiful character.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 19. Dutifulness towards Parents after their Death

35.Abu Usayd said, “We were with the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, when a man asked, ‘Messenger of Allah, is there any act of dutifulness which I can do for my parents after their death?’ He replied, ‘Yes. There are four things: Supplication for them, asking forgiveness for them, fulfilling their pledges, and being generous to friends of theirs. You only have ties of kinship through your parents.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary:

36.Abu Hurayra said, “The dead person can be raised a degree after his death. He said, ‘My Lord, how is this?’ He was told, ‘Your child can ask for forgiveness for you.'”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary:This contains evidence for upgrade of a person by virtue of his child’s supplication. Therefore, parents should ensure the proper upbringing of their wards upon the religion so that the children become sources of upgrade for them after their (i.e the parent’s) death.

37.Ibn Sirin said, “We were with Abu Hurayra one night and he said, ‘O Allah, forgive Abu Hurayra and his mother and whoever asks for forgiveness for both of them.'” Muhammad said, “We used to ask for forgiveness for them so that we would be included in Abu Hurayra’s supplication.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:The hadeeth clearly shows Abu Hurayra’s eargerness towards dutifulness to his mother; he sought Allah’s forgiveness for everyone who seeks Allah’s forgiveness for his mother. We beseech Allah the Mighty and Exalted to forgive us, our parents, Abu Hurayra and his mother and the rest of the Muslims.

38.Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “When a person dies, all action is cut off for him with the exception of three things: sadaqa which continues, knowledge which benefits, or a righteous child who makes supplication for him.”
Grade:Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:That is, the rewards for his deeds cease except from the angles mentioned. This is because they are actions with uninterrupted benefits and since they were from his deeds, he also continuously gets rewarded. Knowledge mentioned here includes beneficial knowledge which he taught and books, beneficial works he wrote, dictated, translated or even edited, for they remain over generations. The hadeeth shows the virtue of marrying with thve intention of having pious children therefrom and actually training the child upon the path of righteousness. Quite unfortunately, many hoard their wealth, giving only little or even nothing in any form of charity in the absurd notion that they are preserving the wealth!

39.Ibn ‘Abbas reported that a man said, “Messenger of Allah, my mother died without a will. Will it help her if I give sadaqa on her behalf?” “Yes,” he replied.
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:Preparing one’s will is urged in this hadeeth. It also shows the permissibility of giving charity on behalf of one’s parents and that doing so is actually from kindness to them. The importance of knowledge before action is also highlighted here

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 20. The Dutifulness of someone who maintains what his father loved

40.‘Abdullah ibn Dinar reported that Ibn ‘Umar passed by a bedouin during a journey. The bedouin’s father had been a friend of ‘Umar’s. The bedouin said, “Am I not the son of so-and-so?” He said, “Yes, indeed.” Ibn ‘Umar ordered that he be given a donkey which was following him. He also took off his turban and gave it to him, One of the men with him said, “Wouldn’t two dirhams be enough for him?” He replied, “The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Maintain what your father loved. Do not cut it off so that Allah puts out your light.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary:When Ibn ‘Umar (traveled he took along a donkey which he rode whenever he got bored on the camel. He gave the man his turban and the donkey. The virtue of maintaining such relations with the beloved ones of one’s father could be better taken bearing in mind that such relations bring about mentioning one’s father with good and praying for him. So it counts as from the child’s kindness to his parents. The hadeeth proves that good deeds are of categories.

41.Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The strongest form of dutifulness is when a man maintains relations with the people his father loved.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 21. Do not cut off someone with whom your father maintained ties

42. Sa’d ibn ‘Ubada az-Zurqi reported that his father said, “I was sitting in the mosque in Madina with ‘Amr ibn ‘Uthman when ‘Abdullah ibn Salam walked by, leaning on his nephew. ‘Amr left the assembly and showed his concern for him.” Then Ibn Salam returned to them and said, “Do what you like, ‘Amr ibn ‘Uthman,” (and he said it two or three times) By the One who sent Muhammad, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, with the Truth, it is in the Book of Allah Almighty (and he said it twice), ‘Do not cut off those your father has joined so that that extinguishes your light.'”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary:

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 22. Love is inherited

43. Abu Bakr ibn Hazm reported that one of the Companions of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “It is enough that I tell you that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Love is inherited.'”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary:

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 23. A man should not call his father by his name nor sit down before him nor walk in front of him

44. Abu Hurayra saw two men and said to one of them, “Who is this man in relation to you?” He is my father,” he replied. He said, “Do not call him by his own name nor walk in front of him nor sit down before him.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:The child does that by way of honouring the parents. However, the child could walk ahead of him in circumstances where only doing so assures the child’s safety. Allah knows Best

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 1 : Parents
Chapter 24. Can a man call his father by his kunya?

45.Shahr ibn Hawshab said, “We went out with Ibn ‘Umar and Salim said to him, ‘Peace, Abu ‘Abdu’r-Rahman.'”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary:

46.‘Abdullah ibn Dinar said reported that Ibn ‘Umar said, “But Abu Hafs ‘Umar decided…”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:The Kunya is a way of naming, common among the pious predecessors where a particular name, for example, Anas is prefixed by Abu or Umm to mean, ‘the father of Anas’ or ‘the mother of Anas’ respectively. Taking the Kunya is a means of showing respect for one another. The narration showed the permissibility to call one’s father using his (i.e. the father’s) Kunya.

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 2. Ties of Kinship

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 25. The Duty of maintaining ties of kinship

47. Kulayb ibn Manfa’a reported that his grandfather asked, “Messenger of Allah, towards whom should I be dutiful?” He replied, “Your mother, your father, your sister and your brother. Then your mawla (client) has the next right against you and then your relatives who are connected.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 26. Maintaining ties of kinship

50. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Allah Almighty created creation. When He had finished it, ties of kinship rose up. Allah said, ‘Stop!’ They said, ‘This is the place for anyone seeking refuge with You from being cut off’ Allah said, ‘Are you not content that I should maintain connections with the one who maintains connection with you and I should cut off the one who cuts you off?’ It replied, ‘Yes indeed, my Lord.’ He said, ‘You have that.'”
Then Abu Hurayra said, “If you wish, you can recite, ‘Is it not likely that, if you did turn away, you would cause corruption in the earth and sever your ties of kinship? ‘ (47:22)”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth is evidence that kinship spoke in the real sense, by Allah’s leave, and that it gets angry and becomes pleased. It is also evidence that speech is from the Action-related Attributes of Allah the Mighty and Exalted. Severing the ties of kinship brings about Allah’s wrath on the offender – and with Allah is the refuge.

48. Abu Ayyub al-Ansari told him that a bedouin came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, while he was travelling. He asked, “Tell me what will bring me near to the Garden and keep me far from the Fire.” He replied, “Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, perform the prayer, pay zakat, and maintain ties of kinship.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: (1) The hadeeth orders maintaining ties with the near relatives without restricting it to the Muslims among them alone. The Prophetﷺ would quickly act upon the instructions of the Qur’aan and give admonitions employing methods that depicted the importance of what he said. (2) The hadeeth forms evidence that the Muslim could still relate himself to his fathers: grand-fathers, great grand-fathers and further above, whether they were Muslims or not for the verse reffered to some of the non-Muslim grand parents of the Messengerﷺ and mentioned them as his near relatives. (3) Everyone is enjoined to hasten towards acting upon good deeds and not depend on nor take pride in family ties. Connecting family ties is emphasized in the hadeeth.

49. Abu Ayyub al-Ansari told him that a bedouin came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, while he was travelling. He asked, “Tell me what will bring me near to the Garden and keep me far from the Fire.” He replied, “Worship Allah and do not associate anything with Him, perform the prayer, pay zakat, and maintain ties of kinship.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth exhorts towards asking the scholars about what will bring one towards the Paradise and keep one away from the Fire. It warns against destroying one’s acts of devotion with association of partners with Allah. Ibn Abee Hamzah said, “If they are non-Muslims and evil doers, disconnecting relations with them for the sake of Allah is the way to maintain ties with them on the condition that efforts will be made to admonish them. It will also be made known to them that that is due to their keeping away from the truth. Even at that, one will still supplicate for them in their absence that they should return to the right path.”

51. Ibn ‘Abbas spoke about the ayat, “Give your relatives their due, and the very poor and travellersÉ” (17:26), and said, “He begins by commanding the most pressing of the obligatory dues and He directs us to the best action if we have any money. He says: ‘Give your relatives their due, and the very poor and travellers.’ He also teaches us what we can say if we have nothing. He says, ‘But if you do turn away from them, seeking the mercy you hope for from your Lord, then speak to them with words that bring them ease’ (17:28) in the form of an excellent promise. Things are as they are, but they might change if Allah wills. ‘Do not keep your hand chained to your neck’ and not give anything, ‘but do not extend it either to its full extent’ and give all you have, ‘so that you sit there blamed’ as those who come to you later and find you have nothing will blame you, ‘and destitute.’ (17:29)” He said, “The person to whom you have given everything has made you destitute.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 27. The excellence of maintaining ties of kinship

52. Abu Hurayra said, “A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, ‘Messenger of Allah! I have relatives with whom I maintain ties while they cut me off. I am good to them while they are bad to me. They behave foolishly towards me while I am forbearing towards them.’ The Prophet said, ‘If things are as you said, it is as if you were putting hot ashes on them and you will not lack a supporter against them from Allah as long as you continue to do that.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth teaches that one should always evaluate his conduct with his kith and kin and make apprioprate amends. In some cases one would need to endure negative dispositions from them and not reply evil with its kind. The narration shows that such endurance earns one support from Allah the most High.

53.‘Abdu’r-Rahman ibn ‘Awf heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Allah, the Almighty and Exalted, said, ‘I am the Merciful (ar-Rahman). I have created ties of kinship and derives a name for it from My Name. If anyone maintains ties of kinship, I maintain connection with him, and I shall cut off anyone who cuts them off.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

54. Abu’l-‘Anbas said, “I visited ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr at al-Waht (some land of his in Ta’if). He said, ‘The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, pointed his finger towards us and said, “Kinship (rahim) us derived from the All-Merciful (Rahman). When someone maintains the connections of ties of kinship, they maintain connection with him. If someone cuts them off, they cut him off. They will have an unfettered, eloquent tongue on the Day of Rising.”‘”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

55. ‘A’isha reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Kinship (rahim) is derived from Allah. If anyone maintains ties of kinship Allah maintains ties with him. If anyone cuts them off, Allah cuts him off.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:These narrations show the loftiness of the ties of kinship, the excellence of maintaining it and the menace of breaking it.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 28. Maintaining ties of kinship will prolong life

56. Anas ibn Malik reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who wants to have his provision expanded and his term of life prolonged should maintain ties of kinship.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

57. Abu Hurayra heard that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Anyone who wants to have his provision expanded and his term of life lengthened should maintain ties of kinship.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: These hadeeths prove that it is encouraged to seek legitimate means of expanding wealth, and that a person’s lifespan could be extended through connecting the ties of kinship. Nevertheless, this does not contradict the fact that life span is preordained; for as Eemaan (faith) rises and falls according to one’s deeds without contradicting preordainment, so does life span get shortened and prolonged according its means without contradicting preordainment

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 29. Allah loves the one who maintains ties of kinship

58. Ibn ‘Umar said, “If someone fears his Lord and maintains ties of kinship, his term of life will be prolonged, he will have abundant wealth and his people will love him.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: This narration and the one that comes after it with a similar wording exhort towards the fear of Allah the Mighty and Exalted and connecting the ties of kinship. It mentions them both as means to gaining extension of life span, abundance of wealth and love of one’s people which are all from the signs of Allah’s love for such a person

59. Ibn ‘Umar said, “If someone his Lord and maintains ties of kinship, his term of life will be prolonged, his wealth will be abundant and his family will love him.”
Grade:
Commentary: As No. 58, with a different isnād.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 30. Being dutiful to the closest relative and then the next closest

60. It is reported that al-Miqdam ibn Ma’dikarib heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Allah enjoins you to be dutiful to your mothers. Then He enjoins you to be dutiful to your mothers. Then He enjoins you to be dutiful to your fathers. Then He enjoins you to be dutiful to your next closest relative and then to your next closest relative.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Kindness and respect to the mother is emphasized here because of her bearing the pains of pregnancy, labor and for nursing the child. The father is next in preference, and then the nearest relatives. The words Ummahaat (mothers) and Aabaa (fathers) includes the grand mothers and fathers, the great grand mothers and fathers and so on, upwards.

61. Abu Ayyub Sulayman, the mawla of ‘Uthman ibn ‘Affan, said, “Abu Hurayra came to us on a Thursday evening, the night before Jumu’a. He said, ‘Every individual who severs ties of kinship is constricted when he leaves us. No one left until he had said that three times. Then a young man went to one of his paternal aunts with whom he had severed ties two years previously. He went to her and she asked him, ‘Nephew! What has brought you?’ He replied, ‘I heard Abu Hurayra say such-and- such.’ She said, ‘Go back to him and ask him why he said that.’ Abu Hurayra said, ‘I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “The actions of the children of Adam are presented before Allah Almighty on Thursday evening, the night before Jumu’a. He does not accept the actions of someone who has severed ties of kinship.”‘”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary: It is rather authentically reported that Allah’s Messengerﷺ said regarding his fasting on Mondays and Thurdays that, “Actions are presented to the Lord of all that exists on those two days, and I love that my actions are presented while I am fasting…” See: Irwaa ul-Galeel (948)

62. Ibn ‘Umar said, “Nothing that a man spends on himself and his family, anticipating a reward from Allah, will fail to be rewarded by Allah Almighty. He should begin with those whose support is his responsibility. If there is something left over, he should spend it on his next nearest relative and then the next nearest. If there is still something left over, he can give it away.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary: However, that one begins with his immediate dependents is authentically reported from Allah’s Messengerﷺ by Abdullah bin ‘Umar and other companions (y). See: Irwaa ul-Galeel (834).

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 31. Mercy will not descend on people when there is someone among them who severs ties of kinship

63. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Awfa reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Mercy does not descend on a people when there is someone among them who severs ties of kinship.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 32. The wrong action of someone who severs ties of kinship

64. Jubayr ibn Mu’tim reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “The one who severs ties of kinship will not enter the Garden.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Imam an-Nawawee (الله رحمه (said, “this hadeeth is given two explanations: first, its been considered to refer to the one who declares severing the ties as legitimate without any reason or confusion while knowing fully well that it is prohibited. Such is a disbeliever who will remain in the Fire forever and will never enter the Garden. Second, that it means that he (i.e the one wo breaks the ties of kinhip) will not enter it (i.e. the Garden) along with the first people; he will rather be punished with delay for as long as Allah the most High likes.”

65. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Ties of kinship (rahim) is derived from the All-Merciful (ar- Rahman). They say. ‘My Lord! I have been wronged! My Lord! I have been cut off! My Lord! I haveÉ! I have!’ Allah answers them, ‘Are you not content that I cut off the one who cuts you off and I maintain connections with the one who maintains connections with you?'”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: By its saying, “I have…! I have…!”, the ties of kinship counts the forms of wrong and severance it had suffered. The hadeeth contains stern warning against severing the ties of kinship. It also points to the fact that reward could be with the kind of the deed; so the one who cuts off the ties, is also cut off from Allah’s mercy. Similarly, the one who connects the ties, Allah showers His mercy on him.

66. Sa’id ibn Sam’an heard Abu Hurayra seeking refuge from the power of children and fools. Sa’id said, “Ibn Hasana al-Juhani told me that he asked Abu Hurayra, ‘What is the token of that?’ He replied, ‘That he severs ties of kinship, obeys someone who is in error, and disobeys the correct guide.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The Sabiyy (the young, immature) would lack the wisdom and emotional balance usually associated with adults and as such, may not bother to connect the ties of kinship. Similarly, the foolish lacks good sense of judgement such that he will also fail to connect the ties. When such persons lead, this sin may spread among their subjects; thus, the companion’s supplications. Allah knows best

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 33. The punishment of someone who cuts off ties of kinship in this world

67. Abu Bakr reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “There is no wrong action which Allah is swifter to punish in this world – in addition to the punishment which He has stored up for the wrongdoer in the Next World – than cutting off ties of kinship and injustice.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth proves that retribution for sins is quickened against those who commit the sins depending on the sin committed, and that severing the ties of kinship and oppression are quicker to invite retribution than other sins. Conversely, “there is nothing regarding which Allah is obeyed that is quicker to bring reward as connecting the ties of kinship.” See: Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah (978).

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 34. The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who reciprocates

68. ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “The one who maintains ties of kinship is not the one who reciprocates. The one who maintains ties of kinship is the one who, when his relatives cut him off, maintains ties of kinship.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Imam al-Manaawee (الله رحمه (said, “This refers to the highest level of maintaining the ties of kinship; otherwise, if he is not cut off by anyone among his relatives but he continues to connect with them, he is also considered from those who maintain the ties although his level is lower than that of the one who connects with the one that cuts off relations with him”

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 35. The excellence of someone who maintains relations with relatives who are unjust

69. Al-Bara’ said, “A bedouin came and said, ‘Prophet of Allah! Teach me an action which will enable me to enter the Garden.’ He said, “The question is a broad one, even though you have asked it in only a few words. Free someone. Set a slave free.’ He said, ‘Are they not the same thing?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Freeing someone is setting someone free yourself. Setting a slave free is to contribute to the price of setting him free. Lend an animal for milking which has a lot of milk and treat your relatives kindly. If you cannot do that, then command the good and forbid the bad. If you cannot do that, then restrain your tongue from everything except what is good.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth teaches that: (1) One should be keen to ask about and act upon good deeds. (2) The teacher could give all-embracing responses to questions that come in the same form, and he should explain aspects of his response that may not be clear to the questioner. (3) Giving generously to relatives includes both the just and unjust among them. However, maintaining ties with the unjust among them requires struggling against one’s soul; thus the saying, “…if you cannot do that…”. (4) Freeing a slave and helping to do so and the other deeds mentioned in it are from the major means of attaining the Paradise

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 36. Those who maintained ties of kinship in the Jahiliyya and then became Muslim

70. Hakim ibn Hizam said to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, “Do you think that the acts of worship which I used to do in the time of the Jahiliyya – maintaining relations with relatives, setting slaves free and sadaqa – will bring me a reward?” Hakim said that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “When you become Muslim, you keep the good actions you have already done.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth is one of the major evidences that establish the fact that the non-Muslim who acts upon good deeds while still a non-Muslim is rewarded for them if he accepts Islam and dies upon it. Imam as-Sindee (الله رحمه (explains, “this hadeeth proves that the good deeds of a non-Muslim are suspended; if he becomes a Muslim, they are accepted, otherwise they are rejected.” Previously, Hafidh Ibn Hajar al-Asqalaanee (الله رحمه (gave a similar explanation and said, “this is convincing”. He cited the same view from a number of the pious predecessors. From the narrations that establish this fact is: Once Aa’isha (عنها الله ريض (said to Allah’s Messengerﷺ: ‘Indeed Ibn Jud’aan used to provide food (for the people) and he would be hospitable to his guest(s). Will any of that benefit him on the Day of Resurrection?’ The Prophetﷺ answered: “No. Indeed, on no day did he ever say: O my Lord, forgive me my sin on the Day of Recompense.” (Muslim). Imam Al-Albaanee (الله رحمه (said: “This hadeeth contains clear evidence that if the non-Muslim accepts Islam, his good deeds which he performed while still a non-Muslim will benefit him as opposed to if he dies upon his disbelief; it will not then benefit him, rather it becomes vain due to his disbelief.” He also said, “This is the right position which should not be contradicted due to the preponderance of the ahaadeeth that evince it.” See: Silsilat Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah (1/492- 498)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 37. Maintaining ties of kinship with the idolater and giving gifts

71. Ibn ‘Umar said, “‘Umar saw a silk robe for sale. He said, ‘Messenger of Allah, would you buy this robe and wear it on Jumu’a and when delegations visit you?’ He replied, ‘Only a person who has no portion in the Next World could wear this.’ Then the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was given some robes made of the same material. He sent one of the robes to ‘Umar. ‘Umar exclaimed, ‘How can I wear it when you said what you said about it?’ The Prophet replied, ‘I did not give it to you so that you could wear it. You can sell it or give it to someone.’ ‘Umar sent it to one of his half-brothers by his mother who was still an idolater.” (see 26)
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Umar’s proposal that the Messenger of Allahﷺ should wear the robe on such important occasions like the Friday or when delegations visit him was upheld by the Messengerﷺ; he only rejected the silk robe particularly, and any other prohibited dress or mode of dressing as is known from other narrations by extension. However, the hadeeth shows the permissibility of selling silk clothes, earning profit thereby and connecting ties of kinship with non-Muslim relatives by giving them gifts

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 2 : Ties of Kinship
Chapter 38. Learn your lineages so that you can maintain ties of kinship

72. Jubayr ibn Mut’im said that he heard ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab say on the minbar, “Learn your lineages so that you can maintain ties of kinship. By Allah, if there are some bad feelings between a man and his brother and he knows that there is kinship between him and that man, that will prevent him from breaking with him.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: The narration exhorts towards learning one’s lineage and knowing one’s relatives since the connection of the ties of kinship is dependent on it. Such knowledge will also prevent the sin of severing ties with near relatives.

73. Ibn ‘Abbas said, “Keep a record of your lines of descent so that you can maintain ties of kinship. He will not make his relatives distant when they are close relatives, even if they live far away. He will not consider them to be close relatives if they are distant ones, even if they live near to him. Every time of kinship will come on the Day of Rising in front of each individual and testify on his behalf that he has maintained that tie of kinship if he did indeed maintain it. It will testify against him that he cut if off if he cut it off.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: Maintaining the tie of kinship gives the strong impression that the distant relatives are actually near and that the near relatives are nearer. As such, kith and kin will love one another, they will be showered Allah’s mercy and live in peace and security. This hadeeth is also authentically reported from the sayings of Allah’s Messengerﷺ. See: Silsilat Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah (277).

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 4. Looking after girls

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 4 : Looking after girls
Chapter 41. Someone who looks after three or two daughters

76. ‘Uqba ibn ‘Amir reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “If someone has three daughters and is patient with them and clothes them from his wealth, they will be a shield against the Fire for him.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

77. Ibn ‘Abbas reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “There is no Muslim who has two daughters and takes good care of them but that he will enter the Garden.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)

78.Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who has three daughters and provides for them, clothes them and shows mercy to them will definitely enter the Garden.” A man from the people said, “And two daughters, Messenger of Allah?” He said, “And two.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: The narrations in this chapter emphasize the rights of the daughters, and encourage steadfastness in taking good care of them. They mention the fulfillment of these rights as from the means to seek admittance into the Paradise and protection from the Fire.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 4 : Looking after girls
Chapter 42. Someone who looks after three sisters

79. Abu Sa’id al-Khudri said that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “No one has three daughters or three sisters and is good to them but that he will enter the Garden.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: The narrations in this chapter emphasize the rights of the daughters, and encourage steadfastness in taking good care of them. They mention the fulfillment of these rights as from the means to seek admittance into the Paradise and protection from the Fire.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 4 : Looking after girls
Chapter 43. The excellence of someone who looks after his daughter after she has been sent back home

80. Musa ibn ‘Ali reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Shall I show you the greatest sadaqa (or one of the greatest forms of sadaqa)?” He replied, “Yes, indeed, Messenger of Allah!” He went on, “To provide for your daughter when she is returned to you and you are her sole source of provision.”
80.Musa ibn ‘Ali reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Shall I show you the greatest sadaqa (or one of the greatest forms of sadaqa)?” He replied, “Yes, indeed, Messenger of Allah!” He went on, “To provide for your daughter when she is returned to you and you are her sole source of provision.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

81.Suraqa ibn Ju’shum reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said the like of previous hadith.
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

82. Al-Miqdam ibn Ma’dikarib heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “What you feed yourself is sadaqa for you. What you feed your child is sadaqa for you. What you feed your wife is sadaqa is for you. What you feed your servant is sadaqa for you.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth teaches hastening towards feeding and maintaining oneself, the children, wife and servant; and intending by all that, Allah’s countenance; for Allah does not reward something done for the sake of other than Him. The narration is connected to this chapter heading since the daughter who is sent back home remains the daughter of her parents and should therefore, be maintained as she would before marriage.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 4 : Looking after girls
Chapter 44. Disliking for someone to hope for the death of daughters

83. It is reported that there was a man who had daughters who was with Ibn ‘Umar when he wished that his daughters were dead. Ibn ‘Umar became angry and said, “While you are providing for them!”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 5. Looking after children

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 45. A child is a source of both honor and cowardice

84. ‘A’isha said, “Abu Bakr said, ‘By Allah, there is no man on the face of the earth that I love better than ‘Umar.’ Then he went out and came back and said, ‘How did I swear, daughter?’ I told him what he had said. Then he said, ‘He is dearer to me although one’s child is closer (to one’s heart).'”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: A person could take an oath while making a statement to indicate its importance. Since the children are closer to one’s heart, one naturally tends to give much attention to spending upon them and their general upbringing such that it may lead to being stingy and timid towards others.

85. Ibn Abi Nu’m said, “I was with Ibn ‘Umar when a man asked him about the blood of gnats. He asked, ‘Where are you from?’ ‘From the people of Iraq,’ he replied. He said, ‘Look at this man! He asks about the blood of gnats when they murdered the grandson of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace! I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘They are my sweet basil in this world.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The community where a person comes from greatly influences his dispositions; so, the teacher may inquire about that – especially when no harm is feared thereby – to enable him properly place the question of the student and its response. Ibn Battal (الله رحمه (said: “it can be deduced from the narration that it is obligatory to give preference (during an admonition or while answering a question) to something more obligatory on a person.” Children are from the precious gifts of Allah the Exalted, endeared to people; so the child is smelled and kissed, and referred to as Rayhaan (the sweetflower) as the sweet flower is loved, smelled and kissed

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 46. Carrying a child on one’s shoulders

86. Al-Bara’ said, “I saw the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, when al-Hasan was on his shoulder. He was saying, ‘O Allah, I love him, so love him.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth shows the modesty of the Prophetﷺ and his love for children, for he was kind to al-Hasan ; he placed him on his shoulder and supplicated for him. It is from the Sunnah to love al-Hasan and al-Husain; but as our love for the Messengerﷺ must be within the limits of the Sharee’ah, we must not overstep the proper limits of the Sharee’ah also, in our love for al-Hasan and al-Husain and any other creature: “Allah loves not the trangressors”.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 47. A child is a source of joy

87. Jubayr ibn Nufayr said, “One day we were sitting when al-Miqdad ibn al-Aswad when a man passed us. The man said, ‘Blessing be to those two eyes which saw the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. By Allah, I wish that I had seen what you have seen and witnessed what you have witnessed!’ This angered al-Miqdad and that surprised me as the man had said nothing but good things. Then he turned to them and said, ‘What made the man desire to summon back what Allah has taken away? Does he not realise what his situation would be if he had seen him? By Allah, if certain people had been with the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, Allah would have thrown them on their faces into Hellfire since they would neither have answered nor confirmed him? Do you not praise Allah Almighty since He brought you forth and you only know your Lord and confirm what your Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, brought? You see enough affliction in other people. By Allah, the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was sent in the harshest state in which any Prophet was ever sent – in a gap (in the line of prophethood) and the time of Ignorance. They did not believe that the deen was better than worshipping idols. He brought the Discrimination by which it is possible to discriminate between the true and false, and which can part a father from his child. Then a man will think of his father, child or brother as an unbeliever. Allah has loosened the locks of his heart by faith and he knows that the other person will be destroyed in the Fire. Therefore his eye is not cool since he knows that the one he loves will be in the Fire. It is what Allah says, “Those who say, ‘Our Lord, give us joy in our wives and children.” (25:74)'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth highlightthe following: (1) The love and respect the Taabi’oon had for the companions of Allah’s Messengerﷺ. (2) The teacher should correct the student if he errs and always guide him to that which is right. (3) One should not wish to be present in a place or witness an event from which Allah has kept one absent. (4) Linking up with people is not praiseworthy in every situation and severing relations with them is not also absolutely blameworthy. It is blameworthy for one to follow his near relatives in their disbelief if they give preference to that over Eemaan (faith). (5) One should show concern for his relatives even if they are non-Muslims, strongly wishing them to be guided to Islam. (6) One should seek to marry pious women with the intention to have pious children who will be trained to become pious servants of Allah and coolness of one’s eyes.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 48. A person who makes supplication that his friend will have a lot of money and many children

88. Anas said, “One day I visited the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and there was only myself, my mother and my aunt, Umm Hiram. When he came to us, he asked us, ‘Shall I pray with you?’ It was not the time of an obligatory prayer.” One of those listening to the person relating this asked, “Where did he put in Anas in relation to him?” The reply was, “He put him to his right.”
The report from Anas continues, “Then he prayed with us and made supplication for us, the people of the house, that we would have the best of the blessings of this world and the Next. My mother said, ‘Messenger of Allah, make supplication to Allah for your little servant,’ and he asked Allah to grant me every blessing. At the end of his supplication, he said, ‘O Allah, grant him a lot of money and many children and bless him!'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth contains the following points of benefit: (1) The leader should visit his adherents as was the practice of the Prophetﷺ. (2) The Taabi’oon showed great interest in the matters of the religion especially the prayer. (3) The one who prays alone with the imam should stand on the right side of the imam and not on his left side, nor behind him. (4) One could request a person whose religion is trusted to supplicate for him; and such supplications could be made in the presence of the one who requested for it. (5) The parent should always seek and follow the means by which the child earns the blessings of this World and the Hereafter. Umm Sulaim had given her son, Anas to the service of the Prophetﷺ at the prophet’s arrival in Madeenah. So Anas was nurtured in the prophetic household; he was there until the Prophetﷺ died. (6) It is encouraged to ask Allah for abundant wealth and many children as they are both from the favors of Allah. Quite badly, many abort pregnancies today for the flimsiest reason and seek other means of reducing child birth! (7) It is legitimate also, to beseech Allah for long life as is contained in other wordings of the same hadeeth, just as one supplicates for wealth and children. This does not contradict preordainment. (8) The prophet’s supplication for Anas was granted; he lived for over a hundred years, he had over a hundred and twenty children and grand children, and was one of the richest among the Ansar.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 49. Mothers are merciful

89. Anas ibn Malik said, “A woman came to ‘A’isha and ‘A’isha gave her three dates. She gave each of her two children a date and kept one date for herself. The children ate the two dates and then looked at their mother. She took her date and split in it two and gave each child half of it. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, came and ‘A’isha told him about it. He said, ‘Are you surprised at that? Allah will show her mercy because of her mercy towards her child.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This shows the kindness of the mother for her child, and that being merciful to others, especially the children and near relatives earns one Allah’s mercy. It also encourages towards giving in charity, and evinces the permissibility of mentioning a good deed one performed if doing so will not lead to pride.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 50. Kissing Children

90. ‘A’isha said, “A bedouin came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and asked, “Do you kiss your children? We do not kiss them.’ The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Can I put mercy in your hearts after Allah has removed it from them?'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This narration encourages kissing children, and that doing so is from soft-heartedness. One of the ways to correct the one who errs is to point out the error and mention the evil in it. The hadeeth also points to the fact that the actions of the limbs impact upon the soul.

91. Abu Hurayra said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, kissed Hasan ibn ‘Ali while al-Aqra’ ibn Habis at-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra’ observed, ‘I have ten children and I have kissed any of them.’ The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, looked at him and said, ‘Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'” (Authentic)
Garde: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: That is, whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy by Allah, he will not be rewarded by the Most-Merciful for being merciful. The Prophet’sﷺ love and care for children and his maintenance of the ties of kinship is shown in this narration. It also mentions the virtue of al-Hasan. The hadeeth shows the modesty of the Prophetﷺ and his love for children, for he was kind to al-Hasan ; he placed him on his shoulder and supplicated for him. It is from the Sunnah to love al-Hasan and al-Husain; but as our love for the Messengerﷺ must be within the limits of the Sharee’ah, we must not overstep the proper limits of the Sharee’ah also, in our love for al-Hasan and al-Husain and any other creature: “Allah loves not the trangressors”

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 51. The parent teaching adab and his duty towards his child

92. Numayr ibn Aws said, “They used to say, ‘Correct action is a gift from Allah, but adab comes from the parents.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

93.An-Nu’man ibn Bashir said that his father had carried him to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. He said, ‘Messenger of Allah, I testify to you that I have given an- Nu’man such-and-such. (It was a slave). The Prophet asked, “Have you given each of your children the same”?” “No,” he replied. He said, “Then testify to someone other than me.” Then the Prophet asked, “Do you not want to show equal kindness to all of them?” “Indeed I do,” he replied. He said, “Then do not do it.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary:It points to the fact that the scholars could cooperate with the people in the aspects of their dealings with the members of their household, and that while giving admonitions and verdicts, they could make inquiries which will enable them properly place their statements. Parents should deal justly among their children in terms of giving gifts and exposing them to life opportunities, and shun whatever will sow the seed of discord and bring about disobedience to parents in the family. It is deduced from this hadeeth that some of the rulings of the Sharee’ah have implications that are easily understood and appreciated.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 52. The dutifulness of a father to his child

94. Ibn ‘Umar said, “Allah has called them the ‘dutiful’ (al-Abrar) because they are dutiful (birr) to their parents and children. Just as you have a duty which you owe your parent, so you have a duty which you owe your child.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 53. Someone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy

95. Abu Sa’id that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Someone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: That is, whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy by Allah, he will not be rewarded by the Most-Merciful for being merciful. The Prophet’sﷺ love and care for children and his maintenance of the ties of kinship is shown in this narration. It also mentions the virtue of al-Hasan.

96. Jarir ibn ‘Abdullah said, “The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Allah will not show mercy to someone who does not show mercy to people.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

97. Same as 97.
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

98. ‘A’isha said, “Some bedouins came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. One of their men said to him, ‘Messenger of Allah, do you kiss children? By Allah, we do not kiss them.’ The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘Can I put mercy in your hearts after Allah has removed it from them?'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This narration encourages kissing children, and that doing so is from soft-heartedness. One of the ways to correct the one who errs is to point out the error and mention the evil in it. The hadeeth also points to the fact that the actions of the limbs impact upon the soul.

99. Abu ‘Uthman reported that ‘Umar wanted to appoint a man as governor. The governor said, “I have such-and-such a number of children and I have never kissed any of them.” ‘Umar said, “Allah Almighty will only show mercy to the kindest of His slaves.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: A person who is dealing with the public should have compassion. Since this man did not show compassion towards his own children, ‘Umar withheld his offer on hearing this. The narrations in this chapter teach the importance of showing kindness and goodwill, helping the needy and putting harm away from the people.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 5 : Looking after children
Chapter 54. Mercy consists of a hundred parts

100. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Allah Almighty has divided mercy into one hundred parts. He kept ninety-nine parts and sent down one part to earth. Because of that one single part, creatures are merciful to one another so that even the mare will lift its hooves away from its foal so that it does not trample on it.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: So if the single part sent down to the earth entails Islam; the prayer, the fasting, and the tranquility man feels in his heart among other things which are from the mercy of Allah the Mighty and Exalted, then how tremendous are the ninety-nine parts which he has kept back for the Hereafter, the everlasting abode?! The onus is upon us to show mercy to people so that we receive from this abundant mercy in the Hereafter

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 8. Children Dying

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 8 : Children Dying
Chapter 80. The excellence of someone whose child has died

143. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “No Muslim who has had three of his children die young will enter the Fire, except to expiate an unfulfilled oath.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Imam al-Baghawee (الله رحمه (explained the expression, illā Tahillat al-Qasam (Save to expiate the oath), he said, “that is, except the degree by which Allah would have expiated His oath; and that is His saying: ‘Not one of you but will pass over it’ (Q 19:71). So when he passes over it and crosses it, He has kept His oath.” The hadeeth shows the excellence of patiently bearing trials such as the loss one’s children: It is a means of expiation of sins, elevation of one’s rank before Allah and protection from the Fire.

144. Abu Hurayra reported that a woman came to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, with a child. She said, “Make supplication for him. I have buried three children.” He said, “You have built a strong barrier against the Fire.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden.

145. Khalid al-‘Absi said, “A son of mine died and I felt intense grief over his loss. I said, ‘Abu Hurayra, have you heard anything from the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, to cheer us regarding our dead?’ He replied, ‘I heard the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “Your children are roaming freely in the Garden.”‘”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Da’aamees (sing. Da’moos) are some kind of tiny organisms ever found in marshes. It also refers to one who is always engaged in issues. So, the children are ever found in the Garden, moving freely in its quarters without any hinderance. In the wording of Muslim, Abū Hurayra added: “They will meet their parents, hold their hand or their clothes as I am holding your clothes, and they will not leave their hands till Allah will enter them in the Garden along with their parents.”
146.Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘If anyone has three of his children die young and resigns them to Allah, he will enter the Garden.’ We said, ‘Messenger of Allah, what about two?’ ‘And two,’ he said.” Mahmud ibn Labid said to Jabir, “By Allah, I think that if you had asked, ‘And one?’ he would have given a similar answer.” He said, “By Allah, I think so too.”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: Imam al-Baghawee (الله رحمه (explained the expression, illā Tahillat al-Qasam (Save to expiate the oath), he said, “that is, except the degree by which Allah would have expiated His oath; and that is His saying: ‘Not one of you but will pass over it’ (Q 19:71). So when he passes over it and crosses it, He has kept His oath.” The hadeeth shows the excellence of patiently bearing trials such as the loss one’s children: It is a means of expiation of sins, elevation of one’s rank before Allah and protection from the Fire. The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden.

147. same as 144, different isnad.
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden

148. Abu Hurayra reported, “A woman came to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and said, ‘Messenger of Allah! We cannot come to sit with you, so set aside a day when we can come.’ He said, ‘Your appointed place is the house of so-and-so.’ He came to the women at that time. Part of what he said to them was, ‘There is no woman among you who has three children die, resigning them to Allah, who will not enter the Garden.’ A woman said, ‘And if it is two?’ He replied, ‘And if it is two.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: It points to the fact that the female companions (radiya Allahu anhunna) took part in the matters of learning as well; they asked the Messengerﷺ what they did not understand, and he even gave them a day when he addressed them. Imam al-Baghawee (الله رحمه (explained the expression, illā Tahillat al-Qasam (Save to expiate the oath), he said, “that is, except the degree by which Allah would have expiated His oath; and that is His saying: ‘Not one of you but will pass over it’ (Q 19:71). So when he passes over it and crosses it, He has kept His oath.” The hadeeth shows the excellence of patiently bearing trials such as the loss one’s children: It is a means of expiation of sins, elevation of one’s rank before Allah and protection from the Fire. The hadeeth teaches that it is permissible that one mentions his painful experience to another person without resentment with the aim of hearing words of admonition and consolation from which benefits are taken. “A strong wall against the Fire” implies direct admittance into the Garden.

149. Umm Salim said, “While I was with the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, he said, ‘Umm Salim! There is no Muslim couple who have three of their children die without Allah admitting them to the Garden by virtue of His mercy to them.’ I said, ‘And if there are two?’ He said, ‘And if there are two.'”Grade:
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

150. Al-Hasan reported that Sa’sa’a ibn Mu’awiya told him that he met Abu Dharr finding him alone without any relatives and asked, “Don’t you have any children, Abu Dharr?” He said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, ‘There is no Muslim who has three of his children die before they reach puberty without Allah admitting him to the Garden by virtue of His mercy to them. There is no man who frees a Muslim with Allah Almighty making each of the limbs of the one who is freed a ransom for each of the emancipator’s limbs.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

151. Anas ibn Malik reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “If someone has three children die before they reach puberty, Allah will admit him and them to the Garden by virtue of His mercy.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The fact that these narrations about the reward for parents’ forebearance and hope in Allah’s reward at the death of their children have been reported by many companions indicates that it was something the Messengerﷺ frequently mentioned and was commonly known among his companions (y).

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 8 : Children Dying
Chapter 81. Someone whose miscarried child dies

152. Sahl ibn al-Hanzala, who had no children, said, “I would prefer to have a miscarried child while I am a Muslim and resign that child to Allah than to have the entire world and what it contains.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

153.’Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Which of you prefers the money of heirs to his own money?” “Messenger of Allah,” they replied, “there is none of us who does not prefer his own wealth to that of his heirs.” The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Know that there is not one of you who does not prefer his heirs’ money to his own. Your wealth is what you have spent (for Allah) and the wealth of your heirs is what you leave.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Everyone is said to prefer his heirs’ money since man basically likes to keep his wealth. Nevertheless, what really belongs to us is that which we owned before our death and at death because we expended them in the way of Allah the Most High. As for what we keep with us and finally leave behind at death, they are most apprioprately attributed to our hiers. It seems this hadeeth is mentioned in this chapter to show that patiently bearing a miscarriage is better than the one you still have. Allah knows best. See the hadeeth that follows and its comment.

154. He said that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Who do you reckon to be the childless among you?” They said, “They are those who do not have any children.” No,” he said, “The childless are those who have not sent any of their children ahead (i.e. none of their children have died).”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This hadeeth consoles the person whose children have died, yet he remains patient and hopes for reward from Allah. As for the one none of whose child has died, he does not get the reward that the one who patiently bears such loss gets in the Hereafter.

155. He reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Who do you reckon to be the one who most often throws people down (in a fight)?” They replied, “The one whom men do not throw down.” He said, “No the one who throws people down is the person who controls himself when he is angry.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: It seems that Imām al-Bukhārī brought this hadīth in this chapter because it has the same source with the preceeding narrations or to demonstrate that strength is in controlling one’s anger, as well as sadness.

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 10. Responsibility

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 10 : Responsibility
Chapter 108. A man is the shepherd of his family

212. Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, “All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of the people of his house and he is responsible. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible. Each of you is a shepherd and each is responsible for his flock.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: As the slave is accountable for the property of his master, the master has a greater responsibility: he is accountable for each of his dependents and slaves. So, as the slave exerts efforts to carry out his dues towards his master, the master requires greater efforts to discharge his responsibilities over his dependents. He should feed them, clothe them and teach them the religion and their wordly affairs. Allah is the source of strength. In other wordings of the hadeeth, it adds, “…and the wife is the shepherd of her husband’s house and she is responsible for it.”

213. Abu Sulayman Malik ibn al-Huwayrith said, “We came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, being young men of a similar age. We spent twenty nights with him. He thought that we desired our own people and he asked us about those of our family we had left behind, and we told him. He was merciful and kind, and said, ‘Go back to your family. Instruct and command them. Pray as you have seen me praying. When it is time for the prayer, then let one of you give the adhan and let the oldest of you lead the payer.;:
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The leaders and scholars should be concerned about the affairs of their people as a whole and as individuals in a community. Likewise the students of knowledge, research activities should not make them show indifference to the affairs of their people; they should invite them to goodness and forbid them evil, teach them from what Allah has bestowed upon them of knowledge and action, supplicate for them and give them sincere advices when required. The hadeeth is evidence that travelers can pronounce the call-to-prayer as those at home, and that when the individuals in a group are on a par in the knowledge of the religion, the oldest amongst them should lead their prayers.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 10 : Responsibility
Chapter 109. A woman is a shepherd

214. Ibn ‘Umar reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of the house of her husband and she is responsible as is the servant in regard to his master’s property.” He said, “I heard these words from the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and I reckoned that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “and the man regarding his father’s property.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 10 : Responsibility
Chapter 110. Someone for whom a favour is done and he repays the favour

215. Jabir ibn ‘Abdullah al-Ansari reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Whoever has a favour done for him should repay it. If he cannot find anything he can use to repay it, he should praise the one who did it. When he praises him, he thanks him. If he is silent, he is ungrateful to him. If someone adorns himself with something he has not been given, it is as if he was wearing a false garment.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: “He should praise the one who did it” that is, he should supplicate for him and speak well of him, and the best way to do this is to say, “Jazaakallah Khayran” (may Allah reward you with good). This is contained in an authentic hadeeth collected by Aboo Daawood in his Sunan, “Whoever is done a favour and says: ‘Jazaakallah Khayran’ (may Allah reward you with good) to the one who did the favour has fully given praise”.If a person is done a favour which became known amongst the people but did not make known the person who did the favour, he is as a person who is wearing a false garment for he would make the matter appear as if he were the one who did the thing basically. Allah knows best.

216. Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Anyone who seeks refuge in Allah will find refuge with Him. Anyone who asks from Allah will be receive. Anyone who does a favour should repay it. If you do not find anything, then make supplication for the doer of the favour so that he knows that you have repaid him.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: “Whoever seeks refuge in the name of Allah” that is, he seeks protection with you from being harmed by you or any other party, imploring you with Allah the Most High. The one who asks in Allah’s Name should be given out of reverence for His Name and kindness to His creatures. However, the obligation to give the one who asks depends on whether the one who is asked is able to give without bringing difficulty upon himself or his household, and that a greater evil is not caused to the receiver in one way or the other as a result. The narration encourages mutual kindness; the one who receives should also give, and when he has not what to give, he should supplicate for the giver

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 10 : Responsibility
Chapter 111. Someone who cannot repay someone should make supplication for him

217. Anas reported that the Muhajirun said, “Messenger of Allah, the Ansar have taken all the reward!” He said, “No, not as long as you make supplication for them and praise them for it.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The Muhaajiroon are those who migrated from Makkah to Madeenah, and the Ansaar are those who welcomed and supported them in Madeenah. The Muhaajiroon asked whether the rewards of their migration and other good deeds they performed would go to the Ansaar for the kindness of the Ansaar towards them? But Allah’s favours are boundless; as long as the Muhaajiroon supplicate for them and commend them for their kindness to them, their supplications is as the kindness of the Ansaar to them and the rewards of the good deeds of the Muhaajiroon come back to them”.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 10 : Responsibility
Chapter 112. The one who does not thank people

218. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Allah does not thank the person who does not thank people.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: That is, the one who has formed an attitude not to be grateful to people is not also grateful to Allah. It could also mean that Allah will not accept the thanks of a servant to whom He has granted favours if the servant does not give thanks to people for their kindness to him. The hadeeth teaches being thankful to people, and that that is from the aspects of righteousness.

219. Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Allah ta’ala said to the self, ‘Go forth.’ It replied, ‘I only go forth reluctantly.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This narration is considered as the concluding part of the preceding hadeeth for they have both been mentioned with the same chain of transmission. In that case, only the first part would be connected to the section heading. However, describing the connection of the narration to the chapter heading, Shaykh Husayn al-’Awaayishah (hafizahullah) said, “It appears to me that the statement of the soul, I come out only with reluctance, contains a breach of thankfulness, for thankfulness necessitates that it comes out willingly…”

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 10 : Responsibility
Chapter 113. A man’s maintenance of his brother

220. Abu Dharr reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was asked, “What action is best?” He replied, “Belief in Allah and jihad in His way.” He was asked, “Which slaves are best?” He replied, “The highest in price and most precious to their people.” He said, “What do you think I should do if I am unable to fight?” He replied, “Help someone in trouble or work for someone who does not work.” He asked, “What do you think that I should do if I am too weak (to act accordingly)?” He replied, “Spare people your evil. That is a sadaqa which you bestow on yourself.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The hadeeth shows the following: 1. The ardent desire of the companions (RA)to identify which deed is best in order to hasten towards it. They would even seek to know the good deeds to perform in the circumstances of inability and weakness. 2. The importance of belief in Allah; no deed is accepted without Eemaan 3. From the best things to give out are those that are most dearing to us. 4. The unskilled may have problems of spending upon himself and his household; so benefit extended to him may turn to be benefits to large number of people. 5. Refraining from harming people is from charity. This is because it does not disturb the one in a sound state nor increase discomfort for the one in difficulty.

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 20. Mercy

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 20: Mercy
Chapter 175. Mercy towards the family

376. Anas ibn Malik said, “The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was the most merciful of people towards members of his family. He had his son (Ibrahim) suckled in part of Madina and the husband of his wet-nurse was a blacksmith. We used to go to him and the house would be full of smoke from the bellows. He would kiss the child and take him in his lap.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The Prophetﷺ was most kind to his family, and in him you have a perfect example to follow. Being merciful to one’s family is not restricted to providing them with the needs of maintenance and accommodation; rather, it includes other things such as really paying attention to their education and general upbringing, sincerely loving them, overlooking their weak areas, and preventing and taking away their distress and agitations.

377. Abu Hurayra said, “A man came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, with a child which he began to embrace. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said. ‘Do you show mercy towards me?’ ‘Yes,’ the man replied. He said, ‘Allah is more merciful towards you than you are towards this child. He is the Most Merciful of the merciful.;:
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: This narration encourages kissing children, and that doing so is from soft-heartedness. One of the ways to correct the one who errs is to point out the error and mention the evil in it. The hadeeth also points to the fact that the actions of the limbs impact upon the soul. That is, whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy by Allah, he will not be rewarded by the Most-Merciful for being merciful. The Prophet’sﷺ love and care for children and his maintenance of the ties of kinship is shown in this narration. It also mentions the virtue of al-Hasan. The hadeeth shows the modesty of the Prophetﷺ and his love for children, for he was kind to al-Hasan ; he placed him on his shoulder and supplicated for him. It is from the Sunnah to love al-Hasan and al-Husain; but as our love for the Messengerﷺ must be within the limits of the Sharee’ah, we must not overstep the proper limits of the Sharee’ah also, in our love for al-Hasan and al-Husain and any other creature: “Allah loves not the trangressors”

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 30. General Behaviour

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 30: General Behaviour
Chapter 247. What a man does in his house

538. Al-Aswad said, “I asked ‘A’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, ‘What did the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, do when he was with his family?’ She replied, ‘He would do chores for his family, and when it was time for the prayer, he would go out.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The Prophetﷺ is the best of people to his household. So, he would humbly help in the house chores. The pious predecessors – may Allah 360 shower blessings on them – craved to learn about and follow the Prophetﷺ in all aspects of his life including how he related with his family which are from the aspects of his life they may not know unless they ask the people in the household.

539. Hisham ibn ‘Urwa said that his father said, “I asked ‘A’isha, may Allah be pleased with her, ‘What did the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, do in his house?’ She replied, ‘He mended his sandals and worked as any man works in his house.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

540. Hisham said, “I asked ‘A’isha, ‘What did the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, do in his house?’ She replied, ‘He did what one of you would do in his house. He mended sandals and patched garments and sewed.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: “…what anyone of you would do in his house…” demonstrates that the generation of the companions and those after them was a generally humble one where the leaders of the households helped in the house chores. They were not arrogant nor prideful; more so, that it was known to them that their beloved leader and Allah’s messenger, Muhammadﷺ, also helped in the chores.

541. ‘Amra reported that ‘A’isha was asked, “What did the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, do in his house?” She replied, “He was a man like other men. He removed the fleas from his garment and milked his sheep.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 53. Circumcision

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 595. Circumcision

1244. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Ibrahim, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was circumcised when he was eighty years old. He was circumcised with an axe (qadum).” Abu ‘Abdullah said that “qadum” refers to the name of a place (rather than an axe).”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Shaykh Husayn al-‘Awaayisha (hafizahullah) said, “It shows that a matured person who had not been circumcised should do so or when he becomes a Muslim.” Sharh Saheeh al-Adab al-Mufrad (3/354). This noble practice of the Fitrah is been abandoned by many of the parents for their daughters on the flimsy excuse that it is only Mustahabb (recommended)! Quite badly, some Muslim countries have even legislated against female circumcision!

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 596. Female circumcision

1245. An old woman from Kufa, the grandmother of ‘Ali ibn Ghurab, reported that Umm al-Muhajir said, “I was captured with some girls from Byzantium. ‘Uthman offered us Islam, but only myself and one other girl accepted Islam. ‘Uthman said, ‘Go and circumcise them and purify them.'”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 597. Supplication during circumcision

1246. Salim said, “Ibn ‘Umar, Nu’aym and I were circumcised and they sacrificed a ram on our behalf. I think that we were more happy about it than the other children since a ram had been sacrificed on our behlaf.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 598. Diversion during circumcision

1247. Umm ‘Alqama related that when the nieces of ‘A’isha’s brother were circumcised, ‘A’isha was asked, “Shall we call someone to amuse them?” “Yes,” she replied. ‘Adi was sent for and he came to them. ‘A’isha passed by the room and saw him singing and shaking his head in rapture and he had a large head of hair. ‘Uff!’ she exclaimed, ‘A shaytan! Get him out! Get him out!'”
Grade: Hasan (Sound)
Commentary: The narration demonstrates that it was a normal practice amongst the early Muslims to circumcise girls. This is further asserted in the hadeeth checked and graded in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah, that: “The women migrated (from Makkah to Madeenah) and amongst them was Umm Habeebah who was known to circumcise girls. When the Messengerﷺ saw her, he said to her, ‘O Umm Habeebah! Do you have with you today what you always had with you?’ She said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah! Except it is not permissible so you can prohibit me.’ So the Messengerﷺ said, ‘No, it is allowed; come closer so that I can teach you (how to do it).’ She came closer and he said, ‘When you do it do not cut deep for that (i.e. to slightly remove a part of it) better brightens the face (of the woman) and is found more honorable by the husband.’” 2. The hadeeth shows that entertainment could be permissible or even encouraged when they do not involve sins. 3. Sins should not be tolerated; the Muslims should seek appropriate means to quickly discourage them.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 599. The dhimmi ‘s invitation

1248. Aslam, the client of ‘Umar, said, “When we came to Syria with ‘Umar ibn al-Khattab, the chief came to him, ‘Amir al-Mu’minin, I have prepared some food for you and I would like you to bring some nobles with you. That will be a stronger and nobler action for me.’ ‘Umar said, ‘We cannot enter these churches of yours with the images which are inside them.'”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 600. Circumcising slavegirls

1249. See 1245.
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 601. Circumcision of an older person

1250. Abu Hurayra said, “Ibrahim, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, was circumcised when he was 120 years old. Then he lived eighty years after that.” Sa’id ibn al-Musayyab said, “Ibrahim was the first to be circumcised, the first to give hospitality, the first to trim his moustache, the first to cut his nails and the first to get white hair. He said, ‘O Lord, what is this?’ ‘Gravity,’ Allah replied. Ibrahim said, ‘O Lord, increase me in gravity!'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The report ascribed to the Prophetﷺ here is not authentic; it was even graded Mawdoo’ (fabricated) by Imam al-Albaanee (rahimahullah) in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth id-Da’eefah (2112). See hadeeth no. 1244. As for the statement of Sa’eed bin Musayyib (rahimahullah), they are authentically reported from him. However, reliance on such reports from a taabi’ee requires corroborating evidences from the Prophetﷺ

1251. It is reported that al-Hasan said, “Are you not astonished by this man? (i.e. Malik ibn al- Mundhir) He went to some of the old people of Kaskar who had become Muslim and examined them and then commanded that they be circumcised although it was winter. I heard that some of them died. Greeks and Abyssinians became Muslim with the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and they were not examined at all.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Commenting on this narration, Imam Albaanee (rahimahullah) said, “Rightly, they were not examined. However, that did not prevent them from been ordered to circumcise, and even to completely shave the hair of the period of disbelief which is from the obligations upon the Muslim. Likewise other traits of Fitrah. In the hadeeth collected by Aboo Daawood and others, (it says) that the Prophetﷺ said to a man: ‘Shave off the hairs of the period of disbelief and circumcise.’ See Saheeh Abee Daawood (383). The next narration strengthens it.”

1252. Ibn Shihab said, “When a man became Muslim, he was ordered to have himself circumcised, even if he was old.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Imam az-Zuhree, Muhammad bin Muslim bin Shihaab (rahimahullah), was from the scholars among the students of the companions (radiya Allahu anhum). So, his statement here demonstrates that circumcision was a well established custom among the early Muslims. 1. The narration demonstrates that it was a normal practice amongst the early Muslims to circumcise girls. This is further asserted in the hadeeth checked and graded in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth is-Saheehah, that: “The women migrated (from Makkah to Madeenah) and amongst them was Umm Habeebah who was known to circumcise girls. When the Messengerﷺ saw her, he said to her, ‘O Umm Habeebah! Do you have with you today what you always had with you?’ She said, ‘Yes, O Messenger of Allah! Except it is not permissible so you can prohibit me.’ So the Messengerﷺ said, ‘No, it is allowed; come closer so that I can teach you (how to do it).’ She came closer and he said, ‘When you do it do not cut deep for that (i.e. to slightly remove a part of it) better brightens the face (of the woman) and is found more honorable by the husband.’” 2. The hadeeth shows that entertainment could be permissible or even encouraged when they do not involve sins. 3. Sins should not be tolerated; the Muslims should seek appropriate means to quickly discourage them.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 602. An invitation when a child is born

1253. Bilal ibn Ka’b al-‘Ukki said, “We Ibrahim ibn Adham, ‘Abdu’l-‘Aziz ibn Qarir, Musa ibn Yasar and I visited Yahya ibn Hassan (al-Bakri al-Filistini) in his village. He brought us some food, but Musa held back because he was fasting. Yahya said, ‘We had a man with the kunya of Abu Qursafa from the Banu Kinana who had been one of the Companions of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and he was in this mosque for forty years. He would fast one day and break the fast the next day, My father had a son born to him and he invited this man on the day that he was fasting and he broke his fast.’ Ibrahim stood up and swept him with cloak and Musa broke his fast.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 603. Rubbing a child’s gums

1254. Anas said, “On the day he was born, I took ‘Abdullah ibn Abi Talha to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. I found him wearing a woollen robe while he was marking one of his camels with tar. The Prophet said, ‘Do you have any dates with you?’ ‘Yes,’ I replied. I gave him some dates. He chewed the dates and opened the child’s mouth and put some chewed dates into the child’s mouth. The child licked his lips. The Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, ‘The Ansar love dates,’ and gave him the name ‘Abdullah.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: It demonstrates among other things that one could seek the learned and pious to give the child tahneek and name him.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 604. Supplication at birth

1255. Mu’awiya ibn Qurra said, “When Iyas was born to me, I invited a group of the Companions of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, and I fed them and they made supplication. I said, ‘You have made supplication, so may Allah bless you for your supplication. If I make supplication, then you say, “Amen”.’ He went on, ‘I made a lot of supplication for him for his deen, his intellect and things like that.’ He added, ‘I still recognise the supplication of that day in him.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: The narration encourages supplicating for a child at birth and even asking the righteous to do same. It shows that it is allowed for people to say, Ameen to the supplication of a single person, and that one could invite people to a banquet when a child is born.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 605. The person who praises Allah when he is born if he is well-formed and is not concerned whether it is a boy or a girl

1256. Kathir ibn ‘Ubayd said, “When someone in the family of ‘A’isha had a child, she did not ask, ‘Boy or girl?’ She asked, ‘Was he created well-formed?’ If the answer was ‘Yes,’ she said, ‘Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds.'”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 606. Shaving pubic hair

1257. Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Five things are included in the fitra: trimming the moustache, cutting the nails, shaving the public hair, plucking the armpits, and using the siwak (arak stick for cleaning the teeth).”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)
Commentary: The tooth-stick is only authentically reported as from the Fitrah in the hadeeth of A’aisha (radiya Allahu anhaa). Thus, the Sunnah of plucking the armpits, which forms the point of reference in this hadeeth is established from authentic reports.

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 53: Circumcision
Chapter 607. The time for cutting the nails and hair

1258. Nafi’ reported that Ibn ‘Umar used to trim his nails every fifteen days and shave his pubic hair every month.
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: It highlights the adherence of the companion to the Sunnah, and how he attended to personal hygiene. However, in an authentic hadeeth, collected in Sunan Abee Dawood and others, Anas bin Malik said, “The Messenger of Allahﷺ gave a forty days range for us to shave the armpits, cut the fingernails, trim the moustache and shave the pubes.” Thus Imam ash-Shawkaanee (rahimahullah) said, “Therefore, it is not permissible to exceed it, and the one who leaves trimming and its like after it gets long for up to that limit is not considered to be contradicting the Sunnah.” See Nayl al-Awtaar (1/164).

Adab Al Mufrad >
Book 55. Various

Adab Al Mufrad > Book 55: Various
Chapter 627. Children playing with nuts

1297. Ibrahim said, “Our companions used to allow us all sorts of play things except for dogs.” (Abu ‘Abdullah said that he meant the children.)
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Shaykh Husayn al-‘Awaayisha (hafizahullah) said, “The author cited this narration under this section to show the permissibility of children playing with nuts. However, it should not be along with betting and it should not take much time so that they do not get used to that when they mature, and so that it does not prevent them from acts of obedience they should master and be nurtured upon. Allah Knows Best.”

1298. Abu ‘Uqba said, “I once walked along the road with Ibn ‘Umar. I passed some Abyssinian lads who were playing and he brought out two dirhams which he gave to them.”
Grade: Da’eef (Weak)

1299. ‘A’isha reported that the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, used to call her companions to her who were playing with dolls.”
Grade: Saheeh (Authentic)
Commentary: Young people may play with dolls and other playthings as is evinced in this hadeeth; moreover, when play with such toys is beneficial in their tutelage. The permissibility of a wife having friends and playmates could also be drawn from the narration.

FROM BOOK OF MANNERS

Book Of Manner >
The Manners Of Interacting With One’s Wife

Allah (Swt) said: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable” (Qur’an 2:228)

A man asked the Prophet (Pbuh) “What right does a woman have over her husband?” He (Pbuh) said, “He should feed her when he eats and clothe her when he clothes himself (i.e., purchase clothes for her); he must not strike her face, nor must he curse her or say hurtful words to her; and he should not forsake her except in their home. ” [Ahmad, 19511]

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
The Manners Of Dealing With One’s Wife

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
1) It Is Sunnah To Marry, And One Is Encouraged In The Shariah To Marry

Since Allah (Swt) made it the nature of man to desire woman and of woman to desire man, the Shariah directs the energy of that desire to a lawful institution – marriage, through which people preserve their lineages and control their whims, so that they do not become like beasts – one climbing any and every member of the opposite gender. The Prophet (Pbuh) encouraged people to marry and enumerated some of its benefits in this Hadeeth: “0 group of youth: whosoever from you is able to afford the dowry (and other marriage expenses), then let him get married, for that is more chaste for his eye (i.e., it will help him to avert his gaze) and more safe for his private part (i.e., a married person is better able to protect his private part from unlawful acts, because he can vent his desires through lawful means). And whosoever is not able, then upon him is fasting, for indeed, that is Wijaa (protection from falling into error) for him. “[Ahmad, 3581]

A narration related by Anas Ibn Maalik (R.A) describes how three people reacted when they learned about the Messenger’s worship. They seemed to think little of his worship, for they went to an extreme, forbidding upon themselves matters that Allah (Swt) made permissible – one of them pledged not to marry. Reproaching them, the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “You are the ones who said such and such. By Allah, I indeed have more Khasyah (greatest level of fear) of Allah than any of you, and I have more Tagwa (fear of Allah, piety, righteousness) of Allah than any of you, yet I fast and break my fast (i.e., some days I don’t fast); I pray and I sleep; and I marry women. So whosoever among you turns away from my Sunnah, then he is not from me.” [Ahmad, 13122]

In another narration from Anas Ibn Maalik (R.A) the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Made beloved to me from the world are perfume and women; and the prayer has been made the delight of my eye.” [Ahmad, 11884]

Celibacy is not from the way of the Messengers. Imam Ahmad said, “Celibacy has nothing to do with Islam. Whoever invites you to other than marriage, has invited you to other than Islam.” It is compulsory upon a person to marry if he desires to marry, if he is able to marry, and if he fears that he will otherwise succumb to temptation.

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
2) Good Companionship

The following verse provides the framework for how a man should treat his wife: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable” (Qur’an 2:228)

Just as men have rights over their wives, women have rights over their husbands. To know the extent of those rights, people should refer to what is known as Al-Ma’roof, or the general customs and norms in a given society at a given time. How much a man must spend on his wife, how much clothing he has to provide for her, what kind of accommodations he must provide for her, how often he has to have intimate relations with her – all of these depend on a person’s individual situation and, as we said, on the general customs and norms in a given society at a give time – Al-Ma’roof. This is the ruling for a marriage contract that is void of conditions. If a marriage contract has conditions stipulated in it by either the husband or wife, those conditions must be followed, as long as Halal (lawful) is not made Haram (forbidden), and Haram is not made Halal.

Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) said, “Verily, I love to adorn myself (i.e., make myself look good) for my wife, just as I love for her to adorn herself for me, because Allah (Swt) says: “And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable” (Qur’an 2:228)

Mu’aawiyah Ibn Haidah (R.A) said, “A man asked the Prophet (Pbuh) ‘What right does a woman have over her husband?’ He (Pbuh) said, ‘He should feed her when he eats and clothe her when he clothes himself (i.e., purchase clothes for her); he must not strike her face, nor must he curse her or say hurtful words to her; and he should not forsake her except in their home. “‘ [Ahmad, 19511]

Question: In routine domestic affairs – such as preparing meals, cleaning the house, etc. – does a wife have to serve her husband?

Answer: Shaikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said, “Scholars disagree: does a woman have to serve her husband to fix up the mattress, to serve food, drink, and bread, to knead dough, to give food to his servants and livestock, and so on? Some scholars have said, ‘She does not have to serve him,’ but this view is weak, weak like view in which it is held that a man does not have to have intimate relations (sexual intercourse) with his wife. If he doesn’t, then he isn’t treating her well… And it is said that – this is the correct view -she must serve him, for a husband is her chief in Allah’s Book…Among the scholars who hold this view are those who say, ‘She must serve him a little bit,’ while others among them say, ‘She must serve him according to Al-Ma’roof,’ and this latter view is correct. A woman must serve her husband according to Al-Ma’roof, which means that the standard of society based on their status applies to them. The help provided by a wife who lives in the desert is not like the help provided by a wife who is a city-dweller, and the help of a strong woman is not like the help of a weak woman (so the matter depends upon Al¬Ma’roof – upon the situation of the husband and wife, and upon the norms of the society they live in).”

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
3) Gentleness in Dealing With Women

The Prophet (Pbuh) ordered men to treat their womenfolk with kindness and gentleness. Women are innately weak, and so they are need of kind and compassionate treatment, and not of the rough behavior that is common among men when they deal with one another. Abu Hurairah (Pbuh) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “(Follow my command): Treat women well and with kindness, for woman was created from [the] rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its upper part. And if you were to go to straighten it, you would break it; and if you were to leave it, it would remain crooked. So treat women well and with kindness.” [Muslim, 1468]

Part of treating women well is to teach them what they need to know from the affairs of their religion – such as the ‘rulings for purity, menstruation, post-natal bleeding, prayer, Zakaat, and so on. If a husband cannot teach enough knowledge, he must provide her with the resources to learn elsewhere – at the very least to learn those matters of the religion that she must know. A husband can do that in many ways; for example, he can buy religious books or audiocassettes for her, or he can send her to religious study circles.

Another aspect of treating women well is to make sure they perform their obligatory religious duties — one of them being the wearing of modest clothing and the Hijaab. Allah (Swt) said: “And enjoin As-Salat (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e., the Salat (prayers)]” (Qur’an 20:132)

And Allah (Swt) said: “0 you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones” (Qur’an 66:6)

After Maalik Ibn A1-Huwairith (R.A) and a delegation that came with him had stayed in Madeenah for twenty days, they decided to return to their homes. The Prophet (Pbuh) said to them, “Return to your families, stay with them, teach them, and order them [to perform their religious duties]…” [Muslim, 674]

When a women is negligent in performing her religious duties, when she doesn’t wear the proper Islamic Hijaab, when she refuses to go to her husband when he invites her to his bed, or when she disobeys him in a matter that requires her obedience —her husband must discipline her in such a way as to bring her back to uprightness.

There are stages of disciplining that are outlined in the Shariah, and a husband should not skip to an advanced stage until the one before it becomes impossible for him. Allah (Swt) said: As to those women on whose part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great).” (Qur’an 4:34)

The first stage involves admonishing one’s wife. In this stage, one should remind his wife of her religious duties and of Allah’s punishment for disobeying Him. In the second stage, he should stay away from the bed they share. And in the third stage, he should hit her lightly – not to hurt her because he is only allowed to hit her lightly, but to show her the seriousness of the matter -but not with that intensity which one shows when he is giving vent to his anger and rage.

Question: If one has a wife that does not pray, should he order her to pray? And if she still refuses, what should he do?

Answer: Yes, not only may he order her to pray, he must order her to pray. Allah (Swt) said: “And enjoin As-Salat (the prayer) on your family, and be patient in offering them [i.e., the Salat (prayers)].” (Qur’an 20:132)

And Allah (Swt) said: “0 you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones.” (Qur’an 66:6)

And the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Teach them and discipline them.”

When one orders his wife to pray, he should do so in an encouraging way, just as he encourages her to do something that he wants her to do for his personal benefit. Then, if a woman persists in refusing to pray, he should divorce her; and according to the correct view in the issue, it is compulsory upon him to divorce her. In general, scholars agree that a person who refuses to pray deserves to be punished until he begins to pray again; and if a person continually refuses to pray — after being punished and warned for a period of time — then he should be killed the death of an apostate. This is one of two scholarly views regarding the issue in question, and Shaikh Al-Islam is among those who hold it. And Allah (Swt) knows best.

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
4) Joking And Playing With One’s Wife

Some husbands think it unmanly for them to joke and play with their wives; others feel that, by playing with their wives, they will lose the respect they deserve in their homes. Yet the best, most manly, and most respected of husbands – the Prophet (Pbuh) would both joke and play with his wives. He (Pbuh) said, “Everything a man amuses himself with is false, except for what he shoots with his bow, for when he trains his horse, and for when he plays (and jokes) with his wife, for those are all rights (or for those are all from the truth).” [At-Tirmidhee, 1637]

Another example is how the Prophet (Pbuh) raced with ‘Aaisha (R.A). Speaking about what took place during a journey she made with the Prophet (Pbuh), ‘Aaisha (R.A) said, “I raced him and I beat him on my two feet. Then, when I carried [more] flesh, I raced him and he beat me. He (Pbuh) then said, “This one (defeat) for that defeat (i.e., we are now even).” [Ahmad, 23598]

And in yet another example of how the Prophet (Pbuh) would play and joke with his wives, he (Pbuh) once said to ‘Aaisha (R.A), “Verily, I know when you are pleased with me, and when you are angry with me.”

She (R.A) said, “How do you know that?” He (R.A) said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, ‘No, and by the Lord of Muhammad.’ And when you are angry with me, you say, ‘No, and by the Lord of Ibraaheem.”‘

She (R.A) said, “Yes, by Allah, 0 Messenger of Allah, I do not forsake other than your name.” [Muslim, 2439]

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
5) Being Patient With One’s Wife And Overlooking Her Faults

By her very nature, a woman is jealous, and her jealousy often leads her to doing things that are displeasing to her husband. To compound matters, women naturally have crooked – or better put, spiteful – tongues. Knowing these things about women, a husband should be patient with his wife and overlook her faults. We have hitherto related this saying of the Prophet (Pbuh)” “(Follow my command): “Treat women well and with kindness, for woman was created from [the] rib, and the most crooked part of a rib is its upper part. And if you were to go to straighten it, you would break it; and if you were to leave it, it would remain crooked. So treat women well and with kindness.” [Muslim, 1468]

This also literally means that women were created from [the] rib, for it refers to the creation of Hawwah (the wife of Adam (A.S)) and how she was created from the rib of Adam (A.S). “The most crooked part of a rib is its upper part,” means that the most crooked part of a woman is physically located at the upper part of her body: her tongue. In the Hadeeth, the Prophet (Pbuh) very vividly described the nature of women, informing men that, because women are difficult to discipline and make upright, a husband should be patient with his wife. “And if you were to go to straighten it,” means, if you were to persist in trying to make her upright in her manners, she would not become upright but would instead break, and her breaking means divorce. Muslim’s narration of the above-mentioned Hadeeth is worded thus: “Verily, woman is created from [the] rib; she will not become upright for you, regardless of the way [you follow in trying to make her upright]. If you take pleasure with her, you take pleasure with her, though she has some crookedness about her. But if you go to straighten her, you will break her; and breaking her means divorcing her.” [Muslim, 1468]

The following Hadeeth illustrates the Prophet’s patience in dealing with his wives. Anas (R.A) said, “The Prophet (Pbuh) was with one of his wives when one of the Mothers of the Believers (i.e., another of his wives) sent a large dish with food on it. The wife that was with the Prophet (Pbuh) in her home struck the hand of the servant (who brought the dish), and the dish fell and broke apart. The Prophet (Pbuh) gathered the broken pieces of the dish, after which he gathered the food that was in the dish and put it back onto its broken parts. And he (Pbuh) said, “Your mother (referring to the wife who broke the dish) became jealous.”

He (Pbuh) then kept the slave back until a dish was brought from the house of the wife he was with, and he gave that dish to the wife whose dish was broken; and he kept the broken dish in the house of the wife that broke it.” [Ahmad, 11616]

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
6) It Is From The Obligatory Duties Of A Husband To Have Sexual Relations (i.e., Intercourse) With His Wife

One of the rights a wife has over her husband is for him to have sexual relations with her as often as she needs. He should not leave her for long periods of time without having sex with her, for that very often leads women to sexual deviancy. When it comes to sex, some husbands are derelict in another sense as well; during sex, they do not care about whether their wives are enjoying the sex with them or not; this can have even graver consequences than not having sex with one’s wife for a long time.

Shaikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah said, “A man must have sex with his wife according to what is normal, sufficient, and satisfying. In fact, it is from the greatest of rights that a woman has over her husband – greater even than him providing her with food. It has been said that a man must have sex with his wife at least once every four months. It has also been said that he must have sex with her according to her needs and his ability, just like he must feed her according to her needs and his ability. Of these two views, the latter is correct.”

Some Of The Etiquettes Of Sexual Intercourse

a) Before engaging in sexual intercourse, you should mention Allah’s Name. Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) and others related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “When one of you wants to go to his wife (to engage in sexual intercourse) and says, ‘In the name of Allah, 0 Allah, keep the devil away from us and keep the devil away from what You have blessed us with,’ then, if a child is decreed between them, Shaitaan will never harm him (that child).” [Muslim, 1434] “Shaitaan will never harm him,” means Shaitaan will not be able to harm him in his body or his religion; this does not mean, however, that the child will be altogether protected from the Shaitaan’s whispers. [Al-Fath, 11/195]

Related Issue: You should say the above-mentioned supplica¬tion before and not during sexual intercourse. This ruling is taken from the Prophet’s saying, “When one of you wants to go to his wife.” This narration, which is related by Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) explains the meaning of other narrations which apparently indicate that you should say the invocation during sex; this is one of those narrations: “If, when one of you came to your family and said, ‘In the name of Allah, 0 Allah…”[B  ukhaaree, 141]

b) It is recommended to cover your private areas (the private areas of a man include, according to most scholars, all that is between the knee and the naval) when you engage in sexual intercourse. This recommended course of action is based on a Hadeeth related by Bahz Ibn Hakeem from his father, who related it from his father (R.A). Bahz’s grandfather (R.A) said, “I said, ‘0 Messenger of Allah, the private areas of our body -what of them may we come [forth] with and what of them should we leave?’ The Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Preserve the private areas of your body (i.e., don’t let anyone see them) except from your wife or what your right hand owns (i.e., any slaves you own).”

I said, ‘0 Messenger of Allah, if people are mixed together [all the time (i.e., if people are together all the time and it is difficult to keep some private body parts – such as one’s upper legs – hidden all the time)]?’ He (Pbuh) said, “If you are able to make sure that no one sees them (the private areas of your body), then make sure that no one sees them.”

I said, ‘0 Messenger of Allah, what about when one of us is alone (i.e., in that case, may we keep some of our private areas exposed)?’ He (Pbuh) said, “Allah is more deserving of [people being] shy of Him than people [are deserving of others being shy of them]. ” [Ahmad, 19530]

The final sentence of this Hadeeth suggests that it is better for two people who are engaging in sexual intercourse to cover themselves with a blanket or something similar. And Allah (Swt) knows best.

c) If you already had sex with your wife, and you want to go back to her a second time, though you have not yet taken a shower, then it is recommended for you to first perform Wudoo (ablution). Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudree (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “When one of you comes to his wife (for sex) and then wants to return (for a second time), then let him [first] perform ablution (Wudoo).” [Muslim, 308]

Related Issue: Some scholars have prohibited the practice known as Al’Azl, to ejaculate outside of a woman’s body, so that she does not become pregnant. Yet according to the schools of the four Imams, this practice is permissible if the woman gives her consent. And Allah (Swt) knows best.

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
7) The Prohibition Of Revealing The Details Of One’s Intimate, Conjugal Relations

It is deemed normal among some ignorant people for a man to divulge to his friends the secrets of his and his wife’s intimate bedroom relations. People who are afflicted with the disease of compounded ignorance – those who not only do wrong but think that they are doing right – say, “We are speaking not about illegal sex, but about lawful sex between a husband and his wife.” It should be said to them: True, to enjoy sexual relations with one’s wife is lawful in the Shariah, but to then speak about and describe those relations is forbidden in the Shariah. Furthermore, a person of sound mind and taste would feel disgusted at the notion of describing his sexual feats with his wife to any third party.

Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudree (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Verily, among the most evil of people with Allah (i.e., in Allah’s judgment) in ranking on the Day of Resurrection is a man who goes to his wife (i.e., has sexual relations with his wife), and whose wife goes to him, and then he spreads her secret (i.e., spreads the details of their relations).” [Muslim, 1437]

Explaining this Hadeeth, An-Nawawee said, “Based on this Hadeeth, it is forbidden for a man to spread the details of his sexual relations with his wife, regardless of whether he relates what she said, did, or anything else. But to simply mention that he had sexual intercourse with her, without going into details, has a slightly different ruling. If there is no benefit or need in a man mentioning that he had sex with his wife, then it is Makrooh (disliked) for him to mention it, and mentioning it is contrary to the concepts of modesty, decency, and true manhood. The Prophet (Pbuh) said, ‘Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him speak well or otherwise remain silent.’

But if there is a need or benefit – for example, in court, he answers the accusation of his wife that he is not able to have sex -then there is nothing disliked about him mentioning it. For example, when he explained a religious ruling, the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Verily, that is what I as well as her (referring to his (Pbuh) wife (R.A)) do.’

In another instance, the Prophet (Pbuh) asked Abu Talhah (R.A), ‘Did you ‘Arastum (in Arabic, a softened way of saying, ‘did you engage in sexual intercourse?’) last night?’

And he (Pbuh) said to Jaabir (R.A), “Al-Kais Al-Kais (an expression, in which one encourages another to have sexual relations with his wife in order to have a child).”

And Allah (Swt) knows best.

Related Issue: Just as it is prohibited for a man to discuss his intimate, conjugal relations with a third party, so too is it prohibited for a woman to discuss her intimate, conjugal relations with a third party. Even though the Prophet (Pbuh) was addressing men in the above-mentioned Hadeeth, the implications of what he (Pbuh) said apply to both men and women.

Book Of Manner >The Manners Of Dealing With One's Wife
8) A Man Must Do Justice Between His Wives

The Prophet (Pbuh) ordered men to do justice between their wives: “Whoever has two women (Iwo wives) and inclines to one of them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection, and one of his sides will be slanting.”

Ahmad related the Hadeeth thus: “…and one of his sides will be falling.” [Abu Daawood, 2133] But in the following verse, Allah (Swt) made it clear that a man is not capable of doing perfect justice between his wives: “You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e., neither divorced nor married)…” (Qur’an 4:129)

How can we find harmony between the Hadeeth and verse when they appear to be in contradiction with one another? In reality, there is no contradiction between them. From the verse, we learn that a man cannot do perfect justice; he does not have the ability to love his wives equally, for that is a matter of the heart, which a person has no control over. The same goes for sexual intercourse and the desire to have sexual intercourse: a man does not have to be equal in these regards. What he does have to be fair about is how he outwardly treats them and in how he distributes things to them, which we will clarify shortly. And even if a husband does not engage in sexual intercourse an equal amount of times among his wives, he at least has to make sure that each of his wives gets enough to satisfy her needs.

From the Hadeeth, we learn that a husband has to be fair in distribution – in how many nights he spends with each wife, in spending, and providing with clothes, and anything similar in which justice can be done. It becomes clear, then, that there really is no contradiction between the verse and the Hadeeth.

 A husband must fear Allah (Swt) and do justice between his wives. If he wrongs one of them or acts unfairly, he is sinning and will be deserving of punishment. But if he is just between his wives, he will be rewarded well. The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Verily, the just ones will be with Allah upon platforms of light, to the right of the Most-Merciful ‘Azza Wa-Iall (to Whom belongs might and majesty) – and both of His hands are [His] right; they are those who are just in their judgment, with their families (wives), and in matters they are entrusted with.” [Muslim, 1827]