Islamic Manners That Pertain To Speech
1) Preserving One’s Tongue
2) Speak Good Words Or Remain Silent
3) Good Speech Is Charity
4) The Merits Of Limiting One’s Speech And The Blameworthiness Of Talking Too Much
5) The Prohibition Of Backbiting And Slander
6) The Prohibition Of Relating All That One Hears
7) A Warning Of The Dangers Of Lying
8) The Prohibition Of Lewdness, Obscenity, And Foul Language
9) The Superiority Of Refraining From Argumentation Even When You Know That You Are In The Right
10) It Is Forbidden To Lie In Order To Make Others Laugh
11) When Your Muslim Brother Speaks To You And Turns Around (As If To See That No One Is Around), What He Says Is A Trust With You, Which You Must Keep Secret
12) The Eldest Is Given Precedence In Speech
13) Do Not Interrupt Or Cut Of Someone While He Is Speaking
14) Speak Slowly, Deliberately, And Succinctly
15) Speak In A Low Voice
16) Words And Phrases That You Should Avoid

The Manners Of Speech

Allah (Swt) said: “And follow not (0 man, i.e., say not, or do not or witness not, etc.) that of which you have no knowledge e.g. one’s saying “I have seen,” while in fact he has not seen, or “I have heard,” while he has not heard). Verily! The hearing, and the sight, and the heart, of each of those you will be questioned (by Allah)” (Qur’an 17:36)

The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jawbones and what is between his legs (i.e., that he uses his tongue and his private parts for what is lawful only), then I guarantee Paradise for him.”

Islamic Manners That Pertain To Speech

1) Preserving One’s Tongue

Falsehood, slander, backbiting, and lewd speech – the Muslim must protect himself from these and all other forms of evil speech. Or in other words, the Muslim should protect his tongue from all that Allah and His Messenger’, have prohibited. Words have a greater impact than one might think: one might say a single word or phrase that ruins his life and destroys his prospects for success in the Hereafter; on the other hand, he might say a single word or phrase, which is so meaningful in a positive sense that Allah (Swt) it raises him by many degrees.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Verily, a slave says a word, without contemplating [its implications], and because of it, he slips into the Hellfire further than the distance between the East and the West.” [Muslim, 2988] And in another narration, the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Verily, a man speaks a word to make his companions laugh, but because of it he falls down from farther than the Thurayyah (the Pleiades, a cluster of stars, of which six are easily visible to the naked eye).”

Although some words might be the cause of misery and punishment, other words are the cause of superiority and happiness. The Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Verily, a slave says a word that is pleasing to Allah, and though he doesn’t give it any importance, Allah (Swt) raises him [a number of] degrees because of it. And verily, a slave says a word that Allah is angry with, and though he doesn’t give it any importance [when he says it], he will fall because of it in the Hellfire.” [Bukhaaree, 6478]

When Mu’aadh Ibn Jabal (R.A) asked the Messenger of Allah (Swt) about deeds that make one enter Paradise and that keep one far away from the Hellfire, the Prophet (Pbuh) mentioned the pillars of Islam, some other good deeds, and then he (Pbuh) said, “Shall I not inform you of what strengthens and perfects all of that?”
Mu’aadh (R.A) said, “Yes, 0′ Messenger of Allah.” The Prophet (Pbuh) then took hold of his tongue, and said, “Hold this back (from evil speech).”

Mu’aadh (R.A) said, “0′ Prophet of Allah, and will we be held accountable for what we say?” The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said “May your mother lose you (though this is the literal meaning, the phrase is meant to show amazement at what he said)! And will people be overturned on their faces or upon their nostrils in the Hellfire except because of the harvests of their tongues.” [Ahmad, 21511] And the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) guaranteed Paradise to one who protects his tongue and private parts from evil: “Whoever guarantees for me what is between his jaws and what is between his legs, then I guarantee Paradise for him.”

Seeking Allah’s pleasure and reward, a Muslim should diligently protect his tongue and his private parts from all that Allah (Swt) has prohibited. And one can achieve this without much difficulty he is helped and guided by Allah (Swt). Abu Sa’eed Al-Khudree (R.A) related this Hadeeth: ‘When the son of Adam wakes up, his limbs submit to his tongue, saying to it, ‘Fear Allah regarding us, for if you become upright, we too will become upright; and if you become crooked, then we too will become crooked.” [Ahmad, 11498]

There is no contradiction between this Hadeeth and the following Hadeeth, which is related by An-No’maan Ibn Basheer (R.A) “Lo! In the body there is a morsel: if it is upright and good, then the entire body will become upright and good; but if it is corrupted, then the entire body becomes corrupted – Lo! It is the heart.”[Muslim, 1599]

The meanings of the two Ahadeeth are in harmony because, as At-Teebee mentioned, the tongue is the interpreter of the heart and acts as its representative on the external side of one’s body. When one assigns responsibility in a matter to the tongue, he is speaking figuratively, and is in fact assigning responsibility to the heart. Al-Maidaanee said, “A man’s worth is known by two very small parts of his body: his heart and his tongue.”

2) Speak Good Words Or Remain Silent

Whenever you intend to speak, it is wise to consider your words, to dwell upon the worthiness of your intended speech. Then, if you conclude that your intended speech is worthy and noble enough to be translated into actual speech, then by all means, speak. If, on the other hand, you conclude that what you intend to say is evil, it is better for you to desist and hold back your words. Abu Hurairah (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him not harm his neighbor. Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day then let him honor his guest. And whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, then let him speak good [words] or remain silent.”[Bukhaaree, 6018]

This is characteristically succinct speech from the Prophet (Pbuh) for any speech is either good, evil, or of a kind that leads to one the two. “Good speech” encompasses all sayings that are Islamically required and recommended. As for any speech that is not intrinsically good and that does not lead to goodness, one should avoid it, and opt for silence instead.

3) Good Speech Is Charity

In the previous Hadeeth, we are commanded to speak good words or to remain silent, with no third option being given. Hence we are simply given a command, but in other Ahadeeth we are reminded of the benefits of speaking good words. Abu-Hurairah (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “All joints [of] people’s [bodies] have charity upon them. Every day in which the sun rises and one is just between two [litigants], he is doing an act of charity; if he helps a man climb his mount or raises his things to him, he is doing an act of charity; if he says a good word, he is doing an act of charity; every step one takes to prayer is an act of charity; and one does an act of charity whenever he removes something harmful from the road.”[Muslim, 1016]

It is often the case that one says a good phrase that distances him from the Hellfire. ‘Adee Ibn Haatim (R.A) related that the Prophet (Pbuh) remembered the Hellfire, turned his face, and then sought refuge from it. Then again, he (Pbuh) remembered the Hellfire, turned his face away, and then sought refuge from it. He (Pbuh) then said, ”Ward off the Hellfire, even if it is with half a date (by giving it in charity); and if one cannot find [even] that, then with a good word.”

4) The Merits Of Limiting One’s Speech And The Blameworthiness Of Talking Too Much

Because talkativeness leads to sinning and because carelessness in choosing one’s words leads to mistakes, we are encouraged to limit our speech. AI-Mugheerah Ibn Sho’bah (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Indeed, Allah has forbade you from being undutiful to your mothers; from wrongfully preventing others from wealth, or wrongfully asking for (or taking) wealth; and from burying your daughters alive.

And He (Pbuh) has disliked for you gossip, asking too many questions, and wasting wealth.” “Gossip,” as An-Nawawee explained, refers to one speaking about the conditions and actions of others when they do not concern him.

Jaabir Ibn ‘Abdullah reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Verily, the most beloved of you to me and the one among you who will be seated closest to me on the Day of Resurrection is the best of you in manners. The most hateful of you to me and those among you who will be seated farthest from me on the Day of Resurrection are the Ath-Tharthaaroon (those who speak too much in an affected manner), Al-Mutashaddiqoon (those who feign eloquence; one way they do that is in the exaggerated movement of their mouth when they speak), and Al-Mutafaihi-qoon.”

The Companions (R.A) asked, “0′ Messenger of Allah, we know the meaning of Ath-Tharthaaroon and Al-Mutashaddiqoan, but who are the Al-Mutafaihiqoon?” He said, “The arrogant ones.” [At-Tirmidhee, 2018]

Abu Hurairah (R.A) said, “There is no good to be found in superfluous speech.” And `Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (R.A) said, “Whoever speaks frequently errs frequently.” And Ibn Al- Qaasim said, “I heard Maalik say, ‘There is no good to be found in abundant speech,’ and he said that this quality is found most among women and children, who speak continuously without ever remaining silent…”

5) The Prohibition Of Backbiting And Slander

Backbiting, as defined by the Prophet (Pbuh) is “to mention your brother with something that he dislikes.” So when one backbites his brother, what he says might actually be true; on the other hand, to slander is to say something false about one’s brother. After the Prophet (Pbuh) said that backbiting is “to mention your brother with something that he dislikes,” someone asked, “Suppose what I say about my brother is true?” The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) answered, “If what you said about him is true, then you have backbitten him; and if what you said about him is not true, then you have slandered him.”

In the Qur’an and Sunnah, we are warned over and over again about the grave consequences of backbiting and slandering. The prohibition of these two sins is well-known to the masses of Muslims, yet many persist in giving free rein to their tongues, in attacking the honor of others with impunity. Shaitaan, in his constant effort to divide Muslims and sow dissension among them, beautifies the acts of backbiting and slandering, because he knows mutual hatred and distrust among Muslims will result. Shaitaan’s aims and objectives are always at odds with those of the Shariah; whereas the Shariah came to unite Muslims and bring their hearts closer to one another, Shaitaan strives for the opposite results – for people to hate one another, to speak ill of one another, and to harbor evil thoughts about one another. Jaabir (R.A) related that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Verily, Shaitaan has lost hope of worshippers worshipping him in the Arabian Peninsula, but the still hopes] to sow dissension among them.”

Shaitaan knows that they will not worship him, so he strives to stir up hatred, disputes, trials, and wars. And Shaitaan is well aware of the fact that backbiting and slandering are two seeds that lead to the growth of hatred, disputes, and many other ills.

An enemy, by his very nature, does not want good to befall his foe; in fact, he desires for evil to befall him. If we do not doubt this, we must realize that our greatest enemy, Shaitaan, works tirelessly to bring harm to us, which is why Allah (Swt) ordered us to treat Shaitaan as an enemy and to wage war against him: “Surely Shaitaan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy. He only invites his Hizb (followers) that they may become the dwellers of the blazing Fire” (Qur’an 35:6)

In waging a war the goal of which is to divide Muslims, Shaitaan and his army use many weapons, two of them being backbiting and slandering. We should realize that backbiting and slandering entail evil consequences in this world and in the Hereafter: in this world, relationships among family, friends, and acquaintances suffer; and in the Hereafter, a severe punishment awaits the backbiter and the slanderer.

Here, we will relate only a few of the many revealed texts that warn us about the grave consequences of the aforementioned sins. Allah (Swt) said: “And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah. Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful” (Qur’an 49:12)

Abu Burzah Al-Aslamee (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah said, “0 group of people who have believed with their tongues, though Eemaan has not entered their hearts, do not backbite Muslims and do not follow up on their faults, for whosoever follows up on their faults, Allah follows up on his faults. And when Allah (Swt) follows up on his faults, He (Swt) will expose him even in his own home.” [Abu Daawood, 4880]

When Hudhaifah (R.A) learned about a man who was spreading calumnies, he (R.A) said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) say, “A slanderer will not enter Paradise.'” [Abu Daawood, 48719]

Related Issue: It is permissible to backbite on six occasions only (the definition of backbiting is to say about one’s brother – in his absence, of course – that which he dislikes):

1) To complain about transgression and oppression. If someone wrongs you, you may complain to the judge, police, or anyone who has authority and is able to bring justice to the person who wronged you.

2) To seek help in order to remove some evil. If you see an evil and know someone who has the authority to remove it, you may go to him and say, for instance, “So and so is perpetrating such and such evil; please go and stop him.” Your purpose and intention should be to eradicate the evil; otherwise (if your intention is, for instance, to put down a person you don’t like), you are perpetrating a Haram (forbidden) deed.

3) To seek an Islamic legal ruling from a scholar. When necessary, you may go to a scholar and speak about how someone from your family – such as your brother or wife – wronged you, in order to learn from him what course of action you should take in dealing with your situation. You can, however, show more caution – which is better -yet still fulfill your purpose by saying something to the effect of, “What is your view, Shaikh, about a man who is in such and such situation,” without saying that you are in that situation. That way, you avoid mentioning names and backbiting. Nonetheless, to specifically name to the Muftee (scholar who issues legal rulings) the person involved in your situation is permissible.

4) To warn and advise Muslims about evil. An instance of this occurred when scholars of Hadeeth would mention narrators whose narrations were not acceptable because they were known for lying or for some other fault that had a negative impact on their trustworthiness. Another example from this category is when a witness is brought before a judge: people can testify against the witness if he is known to have an untrustworthy character. And yet another example from this category is to speak to the guardian of a girl about her suitor, to inform the guardian that the suitor has some defect in character, which makes him unworthy of the girl. If you are put in such a situation, wherein you have to warn someone not to marry another person because of a defect in his character, your intention must be sincere, for many people go astray in this regard, speaking out against a prospective husband or wife not out of a sincere desire to save someone from making a bad decision, but from jealousy or bitterness or hatred. The Shaitaan succeeds often in such situations, being able to convince a person that he is speaking sincerely, free from malevolent intentions, when that is not the case.

5) To warn people about someone who openly flaunts his evil, regardless of whether that evil is an innovation or a wicked deed. If someone openly drinks alcohol or if he cheats people of their rights openly and with impunity, you may warn people about him, but only about those of his evils that he performs overtly and publicly; you may not, then, mention those of his evils that he perpetrates when alone, unless any of the other five categories discussed here applies to him.

6) To identify a person. We said that the definition of backbiting is to say something about your brother -when he is not present – that he does not like. Sometimes, when you are describing a person, you may mention something about him that he doesn’t like, but that you need to mention in order to make his identity clear to the person with whom you are talking, and this happens when the person you are describing is known for a physical handicap. Hence, you may say about someone, “The blind one,” “The deaf one,” “The cross-eyed one,” or, “The mute,” if your intention is to clarify the identity of the person you are talking about. Otherwise, if your intention is to belittle him, it is Haram to use a derogatory term such as those mentioned above. Similarly, if you can make clear his identity without using those terms or descriptions, it is better to avoid using them.

Scholars such as An-Nawawee have mentioned these six reasons as being justifiable reasons for backbiting; there is consensus about most of them, and they are based on authentic, well-known Ahadeeth.

Another Related Issue: When a slanderer brings you news about your brother, six things are required of you:

1) You must not believe him; a slanderer is an evildoer, which makes him an untrustworthy source of news.

2) You should reproach him for his slander and try to show him the reprehensibility and vileness of his deed.

3) You should hate him for the sake of Allah (Swt). Allah (Swt) hates him for being a slanderer, and you should hate him too, for a Muslim must hate he whom Allah (Swt) hates.

4) You must not have evil thoughts about your brother who is being slandered.

5) After hearing what the slanderer said, you must not go out and spy on the person he spoke about, so as to ascertain whether what he said is true.

6) Having reproached the slanderer for the vileness of his deed, you should not commit the same vile deed yourself, even if your intention is not malevolent. Therefore you must neither pass on what he said nor say to another, ‘So and so said so and so,’ in which case you will become like him. Everything we mentioned here about slandering is valid when there is no overweighing Islamic benefit that requires one to speak ill about another person, for when there is such an overweighing Islamic benefit, there is no harm in saying what is necessary. [Muslim, 2/93,94]

6) The Prohibition Of Relating All That One Hears

The sum of all that you hear from people is made up of truths and lies; this is obvious, for the world is inhabited by both people who are truthful and people who are liars. Therefore, if a man relates all that he hears, he will inevitably end up speaking untruths, and because of his lack of care, he will be considered to be lying. Abu Hurairah (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “It is sufficient sin for a person to relate all that he hears,” and in another narration, “A person is sufficiently considered to by lying when he relates all that he hears.” [Muslim, 5]

7) A Warning Of The Dangers Of Lying

A lie is to give information that does not correspond to the truth. Allah (Swt) forbade lying both in His Book and on the tongue of His Messenger (Pbuh) Allah (Swt) said: “0 you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are true (in words and deeds)” (Qur’an 9:119)

The implied meaning of the verse is, don’t be with those who are liars. Ibn Mas’ood (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Verily, truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a person continues to tell the truth until he is written with Allah (Swt) as a truthful one. Verily, lying leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads to the Hellfire. And a person continues to lie until, with Allah (Swt) (i.e., according to His Complete Knowledge), he is written as a liar.”[Bukhaaree, 6094]

Abu Hurairah (RA.) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said,“The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he promises, he breaks his promise; when he is trusted, he betrays his trust.” [Muslim, 59]

A person who lies, therefore, possesses one of the characteristics of the hypocrite. In a narration related by Samarah Ibn Jundub, the Prophet (Pbuh) described a dream he had: “…I saw in the night two men come to me; they took me by my hand and escorted me to the sanctified land; there before us was a man sitting down and another man standing, with hooks of iron in his hand – and some of our companions said from Moosa -and he inserts those hooks in the side of his mouth (the mouth of the person sitting down) until they reach the back of his neck; then he does the same with the other side of his mouth. Meanwhile, the other side of his mouth heals and returns [to its normal healthy state], so that he returns to it and does the same (repeating the process over and over again). I asked [the two men that accompanied me], ‘What is this?’ They said, ‘Proceed…”‘

And at the end of the Hadeeth, the Prophet (Pbuh) related that he said to the two men, “You took me about tonight, so now inform me about what I saw.” They answered him, “Yes, as for the one you saw having his mouth ripped apart, he is a liar; he speaks a lie, and it is conveyed from him until it reaches the various regions [of the earth]. That (i.e., what you saw being done to him) will be done to him until the Day of Resurrection… “ [Ahmad, 19652]

Related Issue: The greatest lies are to lie upon Allah, to lie upon His Messenger (Pbuh) and to lie when swearing by Allah (Swt) in order to cheat a Muslim out of his wealth (or rights).

But what does it mean to lie upon Allah (Swt)? One lies upon Allah by interpreting His Speech without knowledge. Our pious predecessors avoided interpreting Allah’s Speech without knowledge, which they made evident in practice and in many of their sayings. Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq (R.A) said, “What earth will carry me and what sky will give me shade if I say about Allah’s Book that which I do not know.” Masrooq said, “Be afraid of At-Tafseer (explaining the meaning of the Qur’an), for it is narrating from Allah (Swt).” After relating these and other similar sayings, Ibn Taymiyyah said, “These and similar narrations from the Imams of our pious predecessors illustrate the care they took not to say in Tafseer that regarding which they had no knowledge. But if one speaks about something he knows – for example, a language related issue or a point from the Shariah – then there is no sin upon him.”

And how does one lie upon the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh)? One lies upon him  (Pbuh) by fabricating a Hadeeth and then falsely ascribing it to the Prophet (Pbuh) by claiming that the Prophet (Pbuh) said certain words or did a certain deed. The person who lies upon the Prophet (Pbuh) is promised the Hellfire. ‘Alee Ibn Abee Taalib (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Do not lie upon me, for whosoever lies upon me enters the Hellfire.” [Muslim, 1]

I mentioned that taking a false oath in order to take possession of a Muslim’s wealth is one of the worst forms of lying. ‘Abdullah Ibn Mas’ood (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Whoever swears a false oath in order to take possession of the wealth of a Muslim man…then he will meet Allah it, and Allah it will be angry with him…” [Muslim, 138]

‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “The Kabaair (major sins) – [they are] associating partners with Allah, undutifulness to one’s parents, killing a person, and Al-Yameen Al-Ghamoos (to take a false oath in order to take possession of the wealth of one’s Muslim brother).” [Ahmad, 6845]

And it is related that Ibn Mas’ood (R.A) said, “We would consider Al-Yameen Al-Ghamoos a sin for which there is no atonement: it is for a man to swear upon the wealth of his brother, lying in order to take possession of it.’ [Fathul-Baaree, 11/566]

Another Related Issue: Lying is permissible in three matters:

1) Bringing people together and resolving differences between them.

2) Lying during war.

3) When a man speaks to his wife or when a woman speaks to her husband (to appease him or her and to bring harmony to their relationship, by expressing a great deal of love even if one does not feel all of that love).

The basis for this ruling is the Hadeeth of Umm Kalthoom Bint ‘Uqbah Ibn Abee Mu’eet (R.A) in which she (R.A) said, “I heard the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) say, “He is not a liar who resolves differences between people, promoting goodness or saying good words.” [Bukhaaree, 2692]

In Abu Daawood’s narration, she (R.A) said, “I have not heard the Messenger of Allah license people to lie in anything except for three matters. The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) would say, “I do not consider to be a liar a man who resolves differences between people: he who says something, intending nothing other than to bring harmony between them; a man who speaks about war; and a man who speaks to his wife or a woman who speaks to her husband (words with which he or she intends to increase the love that exists between them).” [Abu Daawood, 4921]

The people of knowledge disagree about the intended meaning of the Hadeeth. The majority of scholars hold that it is permissible to lie in the three said matters; some scholars are of the view that the meaning of lying is not outright lying, but playing on words, whereby the literal meaning of what one says is true, though there are two possible meanings that one intends, one that is for the listener and one is a meaning that he keeps hidden in his breast. The former view, that of the majority of scholars, is the correct view in this issue.

Other Ahadeeth attest to Abu Daawood’s narration; one example is the above-mentioned narration of Umm Kalthoom (R.A) in which the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “He is not a liar who resolves differences between people, promoting goodness or saying good words”; another example is the following Hadeeth, which is related by Jaabir Ibn ‘Abdullah (R.A). In it, the Prophet (Pbuh) was seeking the death of Ka’ab Ibn Al-Ashraf, who had cursed the Prophet trt, and deceived him by breaking his promise not to help outside forces against the Muslims. Muhammad Ibn Musailamah (R.A) volunteered to punish Ka’ab for his treachery, and after speaking in private with the Prophet he (Pbuh), announced, “Wa ‘Annaanaa,” which literally means ‘he has burdened us and charged us with a task.’ The meaning Muhammad Ibn Musailamah (R.A) intended to convey to those nearby was that the Prophets (Pbuh) had charged him with a burdensome, boring task; he was not lying, for the Prophet (Pbuh) had indeed charged him with a task, but it was neither burdensome nor boring; instead, it was important and pleasing. This example relates to lying or playing on words during war or for a war-like purpose.

There is even a narration that attests to the last part of Abu Daawood’s narration: about lying to one’s spouse in order to appease him or her. ‘Ataa Ibn Yasaar said, “A man went to the Prophet (Pbuh) and said, ‘0 Messenger of Allah, is there sin upon me for lying to my wife?’ He (Pbuh) said, ‘…Allah does not love lying.’

He said, ‘0 Messenger of Allah, [it was] to make peace with her and placate her soul.’ The Prophet (Pbuh) said, “[Then] there is no sin upon you. “‘ [Musnad, 329]

An-Nawawee said, “Concerning a man lying to his wife and her lying to him, what is meant is a demonstration or a show of love, a promise of what is not binding, or something similar. On the other hand, lying to deceive – when he or she is trying to withhold the other’s right -is Haram (forbidden) by the consensus of the Muslims. And Allah (Swt) knows best.”

And Al-Albaanee said, “It is not a form of permissible lying for a man to promise his wife something when he does not intend to fulfill that promise. Nor is it permissible for him to tell her that he bought something for a certain price, telling her so in order to please her, when he really paid a lesser sum. If she were to find him out, she would begin to harbor suspicious about him, and so his lie ends up not in reconciliation, but in distrust and strife.”

8) The Prohibition Of Lewdness, Obscenity, And Foul Language

Having the most complete set of manners and characteristics, the Prophet (Pbuh) was furthest from base and foul language. He (Pbuh) forbade lewdness, cursing, and all falseness in speech. Ibn Mas’ood (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “The believer is not a Ta’aan (slanderer; one who attacks the honor of others through disparaging words and backbiting); nor is he a curser or [a speaker] of lewd and base language.”[Ahmad, 3938]

Al-Fuhsh, the Arabic word for lewdness, can be used to signify different meanings. It can, in a general sense, mean cursing and lewd language, as in the Hadeeth of ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr (R.A). He (R.A) said, “The Prophet (Pbuh) was neither Faahish nor Mutafaahish (i.e., he did not curse or speak lewdly), and he (Pbuh) used to say, ‘Verily, from the best among you is the one who is best among you in manners.” [Muslim, 2321]

Al-Fuhsh can also mean, transgressing the boundaries of good etiquette in conversation, a connotation of Fuhsh that is intended in the following Hadeeth. ‘Aaisha (R.A) said, “A group of Jews came and said, ‘As-Saam (i.e., death; however, it is close in pronunciation to ‘As-Salaam,’ which means peace; so they were trying to trick the Prophet upon you, 0 Abul-Qaasim (i.e., Muhammad (Pbuh)).’ The Prophet (Pbuh) answered, ‘And the same upon you.’ I then said to them, ‘Rather, upon you As-Saam (death) and Adh-Dhaam (shame, disgrace).’ The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “0 ‘Aaisha, do not be Faahishah (i.e., do not transgress the proper etiquette of conversation).”‘

To this, ‘Aaisha (R.A) answered, “Did you not hear what they said?” He said, “And did I not return upon them what they said: I said, ‘And the same upon you (i.e., if they had indeed said, ‘death upon you,’ instead of ‘peace upon you,’ I answered, ‘the same upon you,’ which is appropriate for either possibility, and which saves me from transgressing the boundaries of good manners in speech).” [Muslim, 2165]

Related Issue: The Ill-Effects Of Cursing And Damning Others In One’s Supplications

Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “A friend should not be a curser (one who curses people often).” [Muslim, 2597]

Abu Add-Dardaa (R.A) reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) say, “Verily, the cursers will neither be witnesses nor intercessors on the Day of Resurrection.” [Ahmad, 26981]

Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) related that, in the presence of the Prophet (Pbuh) a man cursed the wind. The Prophet (Pbuh) then said,“Do not curse the wind, for it is commanded (i.e., it is commanded by Allah (Swt) and does not act of its own volition). And when one curses something (or someone) that is not deserving of that, the curse returns upon him.”[At-Tirmidhee, 1978]

Commenting on these narrations, An-Nawawee said, “These narrations should deter people from cursing; they inform us that the person who curses is deprived of many good qualities (i.e., he is not a true friend, and he will neither be a witness nor an intercessor on the Day of Resurrection). When one curses another in the form of an invocation, he is invoking for that person to be banished and excluded from Allah’s Mercy. The believers, by the very nature of their good manners, do not make such invocations; to the contrary, Allah (Swt) described the believers as being people that love one another and cooperate with one another in matters of piety and righteousness. Allah (Swt) likened them to a single structure or building, with parts of it strengthening its other parts. Believers are like a single body, and a true believer loves for his brother what he loves for himself. Therefore, when one curses his Muslim brother – which in effect means that he is invoking for him to be banished from Allah’s Mercy – he has reached the heights of hatred and evil plotting, qualities that are opposite to the mutual love and mercy I just described. A Muslim should want a disbeliever, and not his fellow Muslim, to be banished from Allah’s Mercy, which is why the Prophet, said in an authentic Hadeeth: ‘Cursing a believer is like killing him.’ [Muslim, 110]

A curser is likened to a killer in this regard: a killer cuts his victim off from worldly benefits; a curser cuts off – through his invocation – the intended target of his curses from the bliss of the Hereafter and from the Mercy of Allah (Swt).”

Another Related Issue: One of the greatest of sins, in fact one of the gravest of major sins, is for a man to curse his parents. ‘Abdullah Ibn ‘Amr (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Verily, from the greatest of major sins is for a man to curse his parents.”

It was said, “0 Messenger of Allah, and how does a man curse his parents?” He (Pbuh) said, “A man curses the father of another man, and in return, that man curses his father and mother (so he does something that causes his parents to be cursed).”

This is the wording of Muslim’s narration of the Hadeeth: “It is from the greatest of sins (from the major sins) for a man to curse his parents.” His Companions (R.A) asked, “0 Messenger of Allah, and does a man curse his parents?” Hem, said, “Yes, he curses the father of another man, and that man curses his father. And he curses the man’s mother, and so the man curses his mother. “ [Muslim, 90]

9) The Superiority Of Refraining From Argumentation Even When You Know That You Are In The Right

The Arabic word Al-Miraa means to argue in such a way as to bring out words and meanings of hostility from one’s opponent in the argument. Abu Umaamah (R.A) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “I guarantee a house on the outskirts of Paradise to one who refrains from Al-Miraa, even if he is right (upon the truth in his views); a house in the center of Paradise for one who forsakes lying, even when he is joking; and a house in the highest part of Paradise for one whose manners are good.” [Abu Daawood, 4800]

We learn from the Hadeeth that the Prophet (Pbuh) guaranteed a house on the outskirts of Paradise to one who refrains from argumentation. This is because such a person avoids hurting the feelings of the person he is debating with and refrains from raising himself above him and from showing off his superiority. In another Hadeeth, Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Al-Miraa in the Qur’an (i.e., debating about it) is disbelief (Kufr).” [Ahmad, 7789]

Jundub Ibn ‘Abdullah (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Read the Qur’an [together] so long as your hearts are united, but when you differ, stand up from it [and conclude your study-session together].” [Muslim, 2667]

“When you differ” can mean differences about its meanings, but it can also mean differences about reciting it. When differences of opinion regarding the Qur’an lead to evil, the Muslim is ordered to refrain from debating, and thus prevent the evil that will otherwise result.

An-Nawawee said, “As for the order to stand when people differ about the Qur’an, the scholars say that “differ” refers to either differences of views that are not permissible (i.e., when the truth is clear and there is no room for a second view) or differences that lead to what is forbidden (i.e., differences that lead to senseless and hostile argumentation). For example, we may not differ about the Qur’an itself (no one may come and say that a verse of the Qur’an is not really from the Qur’an) or about a meaning from the Qur’an regarding which ljtihaad is not permissible (i.e., when there is a single clear view that is supported so strongly by proofs that there is no room for a second view that is inferred or reasoned out). Also, we must not differ when a debate among us leads to doubts, Fitnah (trials), enmity, or something similar. These kinds of differences of opinion are forbidden, but differences about secondary matters in the religion and debates among scholars about those issues -to bring out the truth – are not forbidden; rather, such debates and discussions are required and necessary and virtuous. From the era of the Companions (R.A) until the present day, Muslims agree that such differences are permissible. And Allah (Swt) knows best.”

In the above-mentioned Hadeeth, we are encouraged to unite and we are given a warning not to differ and, as a result, become divided. One example of debating about the Qur’an for false purposes occurs when one’s opinion about a verse is contrary to its meaning as indicated by clear proofs, and when one then argues to show the validity of his interpretation.

Related Issue: Allah (Swt) said, “So debate not except with clear proof (which We have revealed to you)” (Qur’an 18:22)

In this verse, As-Sa’dee clarified, we are told not to argue and debate unless our view is based on knowledge, proof, and certainty. To argue, therefore, based on ignorance or guesswork is looked down upon, for doing so is not only a waste of time, but also unnecessarily damages the love one has in his heart for his brother. This is especially the case when the issue being debated has no real religious benefit behind it, such as the oft-occurring debate about the number of the cave people (the story of which is related in the “Kahf Chapter”).

10) It Is Forbidden To Lie In Order To Make Others Laugh

There is nothing wrong in making other people smile or laugh; however, some people resort to unlawful means in order to achieve that effect. So in order to make people in a gathering laugh, one might lie and make up a false story, not knowing perhaps that he has perpetrated a great sin. Mu’aawiyah Ibn Haidah (R.A) reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) say, “Woe unto him who relates and then lies in order to make the people laugh; woe unto him! Woe unto him!” [Abu Daawood, 4990]

11) When Your Muslim Brother Speaks To You And Turns Around (As If To See That No One Is Around), What He Says Is A Trust With You, Which You Must Keep Secret

Jaabir Ibn ‘Abdullah (R.A) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “When a man speaks and then turns (as if to see that no one is around), what he says is a trust (i.e., it is a trust, just as if he said outright that he was about to tell you a secret). “[Abu Daawood, 4868]

When a person imparts a secret to you, you are required to fulfill the trust implied by the secret and not convey it to others. So noble and considerate was the Prophet in his manners that he considered the act of turning to one’s right and left to be similar to one saying outright that he is about to impart a secret. When a person turns to his right and his left before speaking to you, he is indicating that he is afraid others will overhear his words and that he is imparting a secret to you. The act of turning to each side, then, is tantamount to his saying: “I am about to entrust you with a secret.”

12) The Eldest Is Given Precedence In Speech

‘Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn Sahl, Huwaisah Ibn Mas’ood, and Muhai-sah Ibn Mas’ood – when these three went to the Prophet (Pbuh) in regard to a dispute, ‘Abdur-Rahmaan, the youngest among them, began to speak. The Prophet (Pbuh) said to him words to the effect of, “Let the oldest one speak [first].” [Muslim, 1669]

The Companions (R.A) honored their elders and showed mercy to the young among them, which is perhaps why Ibn ‘Umar refrained from coming to the forefront when he was the youngest in a gathering. This occurred when the Prophet (Pbuh) said to his Companions (R.A).”Inform me of a tree, the example of which is the example of the Muslim. It bears its fruits at all times by the permission of its Lord, and its leaves do not wear away.”

Ibn `Umar (R.A) knew the answer to this question, for he later said, “It occurred to me that it is the date-tree, but I disliked to speak when Abu Bakr (R.A) and ‘Umar (R.A) were there without any of them speaking (with the answer). The Prophets (Pbuh) [then] said, ‘It is the date-tree.’

When I left with my father (i.e., ‘Umar (R.A) ), I said, ‘0 my father, it had occurred to me that it is the date-tree.’ He said, ‘What prevented you from saying it? Had you said it, that (i.e., the honor you would have earned for giving the right answer) would have been more beloved to me than such and such.'” Ibn ‘Umar (R.A) then said, “The only thing that prevented me was that I saw neither you nor Abu Bala speak, so I disliked (putting myself in a place of prominence – by speaking – before such distinguished company).” And in the narration of Muslim, he (R.A) said, “I wanted to say it, but the age[s] of those present [prevented me], so I feared speaking.” And in the narration of Ahmad and Ad Daarimee, he (R.A) said, “I looked and saw that I was the youngest one present, so I remained quiet. [Muslim, 6044]

There are other well-known narrations which show that in general, and not just in speech, the Prophet (Pbuh) would give precedence to the eldest person present. One example is the Hadeeth we mentioned earlier, in the chapter of “Entertaining Guests,” in which it is related that the Prophet (Pbuh) gave precedence to the eldest person that was with him.

13) Do Not Interrupt Or Cut Of Someone While He Is Speaking

While we are talking – whether in the midst of a story or an explanation – we would certainly dislike it if others were to interrupt us, so we should give others the same courtesy that we expect for ourselves. The Islamic manner of not interrupting others in their speech is supported by a Hadeeth related by Abu Hurairah (R.A) in which he (R.A) said, “While the Prophet (Pbuh) was in a gathering, speaking to the people, a Bedouin came and said, ‘When is the Hour (i.e., when will this world come to an end)?’ The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) continued to speak, so some people said, ‘The Prophet (Pbuh) heard him but disliked what he said,’ while others said, ‘No, he heard.’ When he finished speaking, the Prophet (Pbuh) said, ‘Where…is the questioner about the Hour?’ The Bedouin said, ‘Here I am, O Messenger of Allah.’ He (Pbuh) said, “When the trust is lost, await the Hour.’

The Bedouin asked, ‘And how will it be lost?’ He (Pbuh) said, “When the matter (i.e., positions of leadership) is entrusted to those who do not deserve it, then await the Hour.” [Ahmad, 8512]

The portion of the Hadeeth that is relevant to our discussion here is Abu Hurairah’s saying, “The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) continued to speak.” He did not stop or allow himself to be interrupted, because the right to speak was with the person in the gathering who was already speaking – in this case, the Prophet (Pbuh) – and not with the questioner.

In establishing the said ruling, we can also draw upon the saying of Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) to ‘Ikrimah: “Speak to the people once a week, and if you refuse except to do otherwise, then twice and if you want to address them even more often, then three times. And do not be the cause of people becoming bored by the Qur’an (by addressing them too often or for too long). And do not let me find you going to a people, while they are talking, and speaking to them (with a sermon), thus cutting off their talk and causing them to become bored. Instead, listen [to them and wait], and when they command [or ask] you [to address them], then speak to them while they are in a state of desiring to hear you…”[Bukhaaree, 59]

14) Speak Slowly, Deliberately, And Succinctly

When you speak quickly or long-windedly, it is likely that your listeners will understand a meaning other than the one you intended for them to understand. The Prophet (Pbuh) spoke deliberately and succinctly in describing his way of talking, ‘Aaisha (R.A) said, “If a counter were to try to enumerate the things spoken by the Prophet when he spoke, he would be able to do so (i.e., so deliberately did the Prophet (Pbuh) speak, for the benefit of his listeners and so careful was he in choosing his words).” In the narration of Ahmad (R.A) she (R.A) said, “The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) would not speak quickly or hastily as you do; he would pause as he spoke, so that one who heard him could memorize what he said.” [Muslim, 2493] An-Nawawee and Ibn Hajr explained these narrations, saying that the Prophet (Pbuh) would not speak long-windedly, nor would he speak quickly, with one phrase or idea following immediately upon the one before it; thus he avoided confusing his listeners.

15) Speak In A Low Voice

Allah (Swt) said: “And lower your voice. Verily, the harshest of all voices is the voice (braying) of the ass.”) (Qur’an 31:19)

In lowering your voice, you are showing good manners with people and with Allah (Swt). Had there been any merit in the loud, harsh, shrill voice, the donkey would not be singled out with such a voice; and the baseness as well as the stupidity of the donkey is well known. To be sure, then, speaking with a loud voice is bad manners; and when one speaks in a loud, harsh voice, he shows that he has no respect for others. Ibn Zaid said, “Had speaking loudly been a noble way of utterance, Allah (Swt) would not have given that quality of voice to the ass.”

16) Words And Phrases That You Should Avoid

Some people might say certain words or phrases that the Shariah prohibited; perhaps they don’t know the ruling of saying such phrases – they represent the majority – or they know the ruling but forget. And worst of all are those who say those phrases on purpose, with full knowledge that they are perpetrating a Haram (forbidden) deed. We cannot enumerate all of those phrases and Fords in this book, but we will mention at least some of them.

But before we proceed, we need to keep something in mind. Some people say that as long as one’s intention is correct, it does not really matter what he says, even if he makes serious mistakes regarding religious issues. This is not true; a person should be careful to the utmost that his speech is limited to what is allowed in the Shariah, for one might say words that will be the cause of his destruction, though he does not perceive the implications of what he says. Here are some words and phrases that you should ‘avoid in your speech:

A) Avoid using words which say or imply that another person is a disbeliever (Kaafir), an innovator in the religion (Mubadai’), or an evildoer (Faasiq), unless of course you have clear proofs to back up your claim.

The Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Whenever any man says to his brother, ‘0 Kaafir (disbeliever),’ then it (it meaning the reality of being a disbeliever) returns and becomes binding on one of them.”[Muslim, 1844]

And this wording is from the narration of Abu Daawood: “Whenever any Muslim man rules that another Muslim man is a disbeliever, then either that other man is a disbeliever or else he is a disbeliever.”

In this regard, there is a group of people whom Allah (Swt) has blinded – having blinded their minds and not their eyes – a group that indiscriminately attacks the honor of other Muslims, labeling them as disbelievers, innovators, or evildoers. It is as if, in their minds, Allah (Swt) has made such attacks a form of worship for them.

Yet were we to study the ways of our pious predecessors, the likes of the Companions and the Imams that followed their guidance – such as Abu Haneefah, Maalik, Ash Shaafi’ee, and Ahmad – we would find them to be very careful in this regard, especially when it came to calling another person a disbeliever. Unless clear proofs that allowed no room for doubt proved the disbelief of a particular person, and unless the proof was established upon him (meaning, the proof was presented to him, and he was given a chance to recant his previous view), they would not say with their tongues anything to indicate the disbelief of that person.

Abu Bakrah (R.A) related that the Prophet (Pbuh) gave the following sermon on the day of An-Nahr: “…Verily, among yourselves your blood, wealth, and honor are inviolable, like the inviolability of this day of yours in this month of yours in this land of yours. Let the one who is present convey this to he who is absent, for perhaps the one who is present will convey to one who understands better than him this [message].” [Muslim, 1679]

B) Avoid saying, “The people are destroyed.” Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “When a man says, The people are destroyed, then he is most destroyed among them.” [Muslim, 2623]

Depending on the vowel of the word destroyed (Ahalakahum) at the end of the Hadeeth, its meaning changes. If the vowel is a Dammah, whereby the word is pronounced, ‘Ahlakuhum,’ then the word indicates the superlative, i.e., he is most destroyed among the people. However, if the vowel is a Fathah, whereby the word is pronounced, ‘ Ahlakahum,’ then the word is a verb indicating that the subject – the person who says, ‘The people are destroyed’ – is in effect destroying the people.

An-Nawawee said, “The scholars agree that this blame is leveled it one who says the phrase with the intention of belittling and disparaging people, while signifying his superiority over them trid their miserable situation; he is so censured because he says he phrase without having knowledge of Allah’s secret in the nation (i.e., His ways, for example, regarding His Divine decrees for the creation). The scholars also say this, but the case altogether different when one says the phrase with a sense of sadness, sadness which results from a realization of his shortcomings and the shortcomings of people in their religious duties to utter the said phrase with this intention in mind is okay…”

Also commenting on the Hadeeth, Al-Khattaabee said, “It means that a man will continually find faults in people, will persist in mentioning their faults, and will say, ‘The people are wicked,’ or, The people are destroyed,’ or other similar statements – to the degree that he will be in the worst situation among them and will become the most destroyed among them, all because of his sin of attacking and vilifying them. Also, he might end up having an exaggerated opinion of himself, feeling that he is better than everyone else. And Allah (Swt) knows best.”

c) Do not take an oath by anyone other than Allah (Swt). It is Allah’s right to swear by whatsoever He (Swt) pleases from His creation, for He (Swt) is the Creator and the One Who has complete power and control over the universe. Man, Jinn, trees, mountains, the sky, and the earth – these and everything else is from Allah’s creation, and so He (Swt) may swear by anything from His creation that He wants it to swear by. Created beings, on the other hand, may swear by none but by their Creator. Al-Haafidh said, “The scholars have said: The secret behind the prohibition of swearing by other than Allah (Swt) is that swearing by someone (or something) involves glorification of him; and in reality, all glory and might and power belong to Allah (Swt) alone.”

Created beings can swear by Allah (Swt) using one of three letters in the Arabic language, which are designated for exactly that purpose: the Wauw, the Baa, and the Taa. So you can say, ‘Tallaahee (By Allah), Billaahee (by Allah), or Wallahee (by Allah),’ or you may swear by the ‘Izza (Might, Power, and Glory) of Allah, by His Attributes, and by His Words.

One of the chapter titles of Bukhaaree’s compilation is this: “Chapter: Swearing By The Glory (‘Izza) Of Allah, By His Attributes, And By His Words.” He then related a narration from Abu Hurairah (R.A) in which the Prophet (Pbuh) described a man who will remain for certain period between Paradise and the Hellfire; he will say, ‘O my Lord, turn my face away from the Hellfire; no, by Your Glory (Wa-Izzatuk), I will not ask You for anything other than it. Or you may take an oath by ascribing something from Allah’s creation to Him; for example, by ascribing the Ka’bah or the sky’ to Him, in which case you can say, ‘Wa-Rabbul-Ka’bah (and by the Lord of the Ka’bah), or, ‘Wa-Rabbus-Samaa (and by the Lord of the sky).’ However, when taking an oath in this manner, you must not ascribe anything that is wicked or despicable to Allak (Swt), even though He is its Creator. We must adhere to the highest of manners with Allah (Swt) an example of which is exemplified in the Prophet’s supplication, “And evil is not ascribed to You,” even though Allah (Swt) is the Creator of both good and evil. There, are other phrases for taking an oath which fall under the above mentioned categories; here are some examples from the Prophet’s Sunnah: Wa-Aimullah,”Walladhee Nafsee Biyadihee (And by the One Who has my soul in His hand),’ or, ‘Laa Wa-Muqaalibil-Quloob (No, and by the One Who turns hearts around).’ [Bukhaaree, 6627]

Though people might take it lightly, it is a dangerous matter indeed to swear by other than Allah (Swt) nowadays, one hears people swearing casually by their ‘dead mother,’ by ‘their father’s grave,’ or by anything or anyone else they revere and honor; however, what they must realize is that it is disbelief or Shirk (to associate partners with Allah in worship) to swear by other than Allah (Swt). Only Allah (Swt) is deserving of the glorification that is involved in an oath. Ibn ‘Umar (R.A) once heard a man say, “No, and I swear by the Kabah.” Ibn ‘Umar said, “An oath must not be taken by other than Allah, for I indeed heard the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) say, ‘Whosoever swears by other than Allah, has disbelieved or associated partners with Allah in worship.” [At-Tirmidhee, 1535]

This is a general prohibition under it falls oaths taken in the name of anyone other than Allah (Swt); other Ahadeeth are more specific, mentioning the ruling for swearing by one’s father, for example; at any rate, it is permissible to swear by Allah only. Ibn ‘Umar (R.A) related that he caught up with his father, ‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (R.A), in a procession, and he was swearing by his father. The Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) called out to them, “Lo! Verily, Allah (Swt) forbids you from swearing by your fathers, so whoever takes an oath, let him swear by Allah (Swt); otherwise, let him remain silent.” [Muslim, 1646]

Another example of a specific prohibition is found in a Hadeeth related by Buraidah (R.A) in which the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Whoever swears by Al-Amaanah (the trust), then he is not from us.” [Ahmad, 22471]

Similarly, many people swear by the Prophet (Pbuh) by life, or by someone’s life these oaths and all oaths that are taken by the name of anyone other than Allah (Swt) are forbidden.

D) Both in the past and up until today, many a foolish person has sworn that, if something happens, he will divorce his wife. For example, one will say, “If I do such and such (usually mentioning some trifling matter), it becomes binding upon me to divorce my wife,” or, “If I don’t do such and such deed, it becomes binding upon me to divorce my wife,” or, “If my wife does such and such deed, it becomes binding upon me to divorce my wife.” Such an ignorant person causes the destruction of his family and wrongs his wife for no sin of hers, but instead for his idiotic sin of letting his tongue loose without considering the results of his actions. And for the most part, people make this kind of oath over a trifling matter, and even if it is not trifling, it becomes so when compared to the result of destroying one’s family.

Scholars do differ, however, about one who breaks his oath and decides to keep his wife with him. The majority of scholars hold that when a person makes an oath to divorce his wife and then breaks that oath, the divorce occurs and becomes binding nonetheless. But there is another group of scholars that give this oath the same ruling as any other oath when one breaks it, all that is binding upon him is to perform the Kaffaaratul-Yameen (atonement that is prescribed for people who break their oaths).

In answer to a question about this issue, Ibn ‘Uthaimeen said, “It is contrary to the guidance of the Prophet (Pbuh) for one to make an oath that he will divorce his wife, as in these examples: “I will divorce you if you do such and such deed,” or, “I will divorce you if you don’t do such and such deed,” or, “If you (addressing someone other than his wife) do such and such deed, my wife is divorced from me,” or, “If you don’t do such and such deed, my wife is divorced from me,” and any other similar phrasing. There are many from the people of knowledge – or rather most of the people of knowledge – who hold that if one breaks such an oath, he divorces is binding upon him, and his wife is considered to be divorced from him. Yet the stronger view is that if one makes such an oath with the same view as other oaths are made, thereby one’s intention is to encourage a person to do a specific feed, discourage him from a deed, show one’s belief or disbelief or emphasize a matter, then that oath takes the same ruling as other oaths (i.e., there is an atonement prescribed if one breaks it), for Allah (Swt) said: “0 Prophet! Why do you ban (for yourself) that which Allah has made lawful to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. Allah has already ordained for you (0 men), the dissolution of your oaths” (Qur’an 66:1,2)

And the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Verily, deeds are only by their intentions, and for every person is only that which he intends.” So he does not intend divorce but instead intends an oath, in which, if he breaks it, it is sufficient for him to perform the atonement that is prescribed for oaths. And this is the stronger opinion.”

E) Do not say to a hypocrite, “Sayyid (chief, master, mister),” or “Sayyidee (my chief, my master).” Buraidah (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Do not say ‘Sayyid’ to a hypocrite, for even if he is a Sayyid (for example, he is the leader of a people or he owns slaves), you will have angered your Lord ‘Azza Wa-Jall [by saying it to him].” [Abu Daawood, 4977]

“Even if he is a Sayyid” means, even if he is the leader of a people, an honored member of society, a person of wealth, etc. By calling a known hypocrite ‘ Sayyid,’ one angers Allah (Swt) because one is honoring and venerating a person who deserves neither honor nor veneration. And that is if the person is really a Sayyid; if he isn’t a Sayyid, then one adds lying and hypocrisy to the list of his sins. Ibn Al-Atheer said, “Do not say, ‘Sayyid,’ to a hypocrite, for if he really is a hypocrite, and if he really is a Sayyid, then [by calling him ‘ Sayyidl your situation is lower than his (i.e. you lower yourself to being lower than even a hypocrite), and Allah (Swt) is not pleased with that for you.”

F) Do not curse the time. Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Allah ‘Azza Wa-Jall said: The son of Adam offends Me when he curses the time, for I am the time: the matter is in My Hand – I make the night alter into day.”[Muslim, 2246]

And this is from the narration of Ahmad: “Do not curse the time, for indeed Allah ‘Azza Wa-Jall said, ‘I am the time: the days and the nights are Mine – I renew them and cause them to decay (i.e., to end); and I bring kings after kings.” [Ahmad, 1006]

When people would be afflicted with a calamity during pre-Islamic times – the times of ignorance – it was customary for them to curse the time; some people from this Nation – and they are few – are guilty of the same ignorance. The reason why it is prohibited to curse the time is because it involves cursing the Creator of the time, for He (Swt) is the one who makes time pass. Cursing time is prohibited, then, so that one does not, as a direct consequence, curse his Creator – and we seek protection from Allah (Swt).

Question: Is it permissible to say, “This is a treacherous time,” or, “What a failure is the time wherein I saw you,” or other similar phrases?

Answer: Ibn ‘Uthaimeen – may Allah have mercy on him – said that such phrases can be said in two different ways:

1) One says such phrases with the intention of cursing time, and that is Haram, for whatsoever occurs in time is from Allah (Swt). Therefore, when one curses time, he is in fact cursing Allah – and we seek refuge in Allah (Swt). And that is why Allah (Swt) said in a Qudsee Hadeeth: “The son of Adam offends Me when he curses the time, for I am the time: the matter is in My Hand – I make the night alter into day.”

2) One says such phrases with the intention of imparting information, of expressing the situation of a certain point in time or of a certain era. An example of this is in the following verse, wherein Allah (Swt) relates from Loot (Pbuh) “He said: “This is a distressful day.” (Qur’an 11:77)

Everyone says at some time or another, “This is a difficult day,” or, “Such and such happened today,” and there is no sin upon people for doing so. But when one says, “This is a treacherous time,” then that is a form of cursing that is certainly not permissible. In regards to the phrase, “What a failure is the time wherein I saw you,” if one intends, “What a failure I was,” or something similar, then there is nothing wrong with what he said; but if his intention is to curse the actual day or time, then he is cursing time, which is forbidden.

G) To say, “Haraamun ‘Alaik (It is forbidden upon you)” or “Haraamun ‘Alaik An-Tafal Kadhaa (It is forbidden upon you to do such and such)” about matters that are not forbidden. To put these phrases in context, we must understand that it has become customary among some Arabs to use these expressions to describe common place occurrences, using the word “Haraam (forbidden)” to describe mistakes that are not forbidden in the Shariah. In a sporting event, for example, if a player misses an easy opportunity to score, people might say, “Haraamun ‘Alaihi [it was Haram for him (to miss such an easy opportunity)]!” And this of course shows carelessness that is not acceptable in Islam.

It is forbidden to describe something as being Haram (forbidden) unless Allah (Swt) or His Messenger (Pbuh) forbade it. Even if one has a good intention, he is transgressing his limits as a created being -for only Allah (Swt) has the right to decree what is lawful and what is forbidden; furthermore, by saying such phrases, one gives the impression that something is Haram when it really isn’t Haram. Therefore, it is safer for a person, in protecting his practice of the religion, to avoid such phrases. And it is feared that the one who says them falls under the ruling of this verse: “And say not concerning that which your tongues put forth falsely: “This is lawful and this is forbidden,” so as to invent lies against Allah. Verily, those who invent lies against Allah will never prosper” (Qur’an 16:116)

In explaining this verse, Ash-Shawkaanee said, “Do not rule that something is Haram (unlawful) or something is Halal (lawful) based only on what your tongues say and not on proof.”