The Manners Of Visiting Your Brother
1) You Should Visit Your Brother Outside Of The Three Timings Specified In The Above-Mentioned Verse
The Etiquettes Of Visiting Your Brother
Allah said: “0 you who believe! Let your legal slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence) on three occasions: before Fajr (morning) prayer, and while you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest), and after the ‘Isha (late-night) prayer” (Qur’an 24:58)
Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “A man once visited a brother of his in another village, and Allah (Swt) appointed an Angel to lie in wait for him on the road he was taking. When the man came upon the Angel, the latter said, ‘Where do you wish to go?’ The man said, ‘I want [to visit] a brother of mine in this valley.’ The Angel asked, ‘Do you have some blessing or favor upon him [for which you are going to him (i.e., is it some worldly benefit or calling that prompted you to visit him)]?’ He said, ‘No, except that I do indeed love him for Allah ‘Azza Wa-Jall (i.e., that is the only reason that prompted me to visit him).’ The Angel said, ‘I am indeed a messenger of Allah, sent to you, to inform you that Allah indeed loves you as you have loved your brother for Him.” [Muslim, 5267]
The Manners Of Visiting Your Brother
1). You Should Visit Your Brother Outside Of The Three Timings Specified In The Above-Mentioned Verse
Servants and children that have not reached the age of puberty – Allah (Swt) guided believers to forbid these categories of people from entering into their presence during three periods of the day:
1) before Fajr prayer,
2) the time for the noonday rest, and
3) after ‘Isha prayer.
Privacy is required because, during these times, a person is likely to be sleeping, relaxing, or spending intimate moments with his wife. Therefore, only after they receive your permission, may your servants or children enter into your presence, i.e., your private space, such as your bedroom. Building on this principle, We can also conclude that by visiting people during those times, We are likely to be ruining their rest and causing annoyance for them. People are for the most part not prepared to welcome people during those three periods of the day. However, we except from this principle occasions wherein you are invited, for instance, to a lunch or dinner gathering; you are obviously welcome when the host invites you and specifies the time that you should arrive. Concerning this issue, we can draw upon two examples, one a Hadeeth and one a narration from a Companion (R.A) to illustrate that it was customary for people to avoid visiting others during in the noonday rest period. ‘
First, we mention the Hadeeth: ‘Aaisha (R.A) said, “Rarely would a day go by wherein the Prophet (Pbuh) would not visit Abu Bakr (R.A) at one of the two ends of the day. But when permission was given to him to go to Madeenah (i.e., to migrate) …he came to us at noontime. Abu Bakr (R.A) was informed about his arrival, and he (R.A) said, ‘The Prophet (Pbuh) came to us at this time only because something [important] has happened.’…”[Bukhaaree, 2138]
The Prophet (Pbuh) came at a time that was not a normal time for visitation – during the period of the day wherein people would take a noonday nap – which is why Abu Bakr (R.A) was so surprised when he learned that the Prophet (Pbuh) had come.
And speaking of how he would take knowledge from older Companions (R.A) Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) said, “When a Hadeeth reached me from a man, I would go to him, and if he was taking his noon-nap, I would rest my head on my robe at his door, and the wind would blow dust on my face.”[Ad-Daarimee, 570]
Despite the fact that Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) assiduously sought out knowledge and despite the fact that he was careful not to waste his time, he preferred to wait for the person he was looking for to come out rather than knock on his door and disturb him. This occurred when he would arrive at someone’s home during the period wherein people customarily took their noonday nap.
2) Unless He Has Permission From His Host, A Visitor Should Not Lead The prayer; Nor Should He Sit On The Bed Or Mattress Of His Host Without His Permission
In his own home, a man has more rights than anyone else; therefore, it is only after his permission is conferred may someone lead the prayer or sit on the mattress or couch that is specifically prepared for him. Abu Mas’ood Al-Ansaaree ascribed this Hadeeth to the Prophet (Pbuh) “The one who should lead the people [in prayer] is he who knows more of Allah’s Book; if they (i.e., more than one person present) are equal in recitation, then the one who is most knowledgeable regarding the Sunnah; if they are equal [in their knowledge] of the Sunnah, then the one who migrated earlier; and if they are equal in regards to their migration, then the one who is older. And a man should not lead another man in his (i.e., in the latter’s) [place of] authority, nor should he sit in his house on his particular mattress (one that is specifically prepared and designated for the leader of the household) – unless he obtains his permission.” And in another narration, “Unless he (the person of authority or the master of the house) gives permission to you…” [Muslim, 673]
In commenting on this Hadeeth, An-Nawawee said, “It means…that the head of the house, the leader of the gathering, and the Imam of the Masjid are all more deserving [of leading the prayer] than anyone else, even if someone else is more knowledgeable, knows more Qur’an, is more pious, or is generally better. The leader of a place – such as the master of the house – is most deserving in this regard; if he wishes, he may step forward (to lead the prayer), and if he wishes, he may advance a person of his choice to lead, even if the person he advances is less worthy than others who are present. Since he has authority [in his home or otherwise], he may do in this matter as he pleases.”
3) Frequency Of Visits
Regarding frequency of visits, there are two Ahadeeth that scholars cite; one that is agreed upon, and another that scholars disagree about. As for the former, it is the Hadeeth of ‘Aaisha (R.A) that we mentioned earlier; she (R.A) said, “Rarely would a day go by wherein the Prophet (Pbuh) would not come to Abu Bakr’s house at one of the two ends of the day. And in another narration, “No day would pass by for the two of them, except that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) would come to us during it at both ends of the day – in the morning and in the evening.”[Bukhaaree, 6079] These narrations show that the Prophet, would frequently visit Abu Bakr (R.A).
Scholars disagree about the other Hadeeth even though it is famous: “Visit at intervals, and you will increase in [mutual] love.” About this Hadeeth, Ibn Hajr said, “In the title of a chapter from his compilation – the title is, ‘Should One Visit His Companion Every Day, Or Every Morning And Evening?'[Book of Aadaah, 64] -Bukhaaree seems to signal his opinion that the famous Hadeeth, ‘Visit at intervals, and you will increase in love,’ is weak. Though the Hadeeth is related through many chains, most of them are Gharaaib; and not a single one of them is free from criticism.” Supposing that the Hadeeth in question is authentic, its meaning does not conflict with the meaning of the aforesaid Hadeeth of ‘Aaisha (R.A) Ibn Hajr explained: “This is because its generality allows for its implications to be limited [by another Hadeeth (in this case, the Hadeeth of ‘Aaisha (R.A) So it applies only to those who do not hold a special place in the heart of the host and those who are not firmly loved by the host. A person who is well-loved by the host is not diminished in status simply because he is a frequent visitor.” And Ibn Battaal said, “When a close friend visits frequently, he, as opposed to others, is increased in nothing save love.”
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