The Islamic Manners Related To Asking Permission
1) The Sunnah Is To Greet First And Then Ask For Permission To Enter
2) The Person Who is Seeking Permission Should Stand To The Right Or To The Left Of The Door..
3) It Is Forbidden For One To Look Into Someone’s Home Without His Permission
4) You Should Seek Permission To Enter Three Times Only
5) The One Who Is Asking Permission Should Not Answer With, “Me,” or, “It Is Me,” or, “It Is I,..
6) The Seeker Of Permission Should Not Violently Or Harshly Beat The Door
7) If The Owner Of The Home Says To The One Seeking Permission, “Return,” Then He Should Return
8) If He Finds That No One Is Home, The Person That Is Asking For Permission To Enter Should Not Enter
9) If One Is Invited Or If A Messenger Is Sent To Fetch Him, He Does Not Have To Ask Permission To Enter
10) When You Want To Leave A Gathering, You Should First Ask Permission
11) Seeking Permission To Enter Into The Presence Of Your Mother, Sister, And Others Like Them
12) Before Entering A Room That Is Occupied By Your Wife, Announce Your Presence
13) Let Legal Slaves And Slave-Girls, And Those Among You Who Have Not Come To The Age Of Puberty Ask Your Permission (Before They Come To Your Presence) On Three Occasions:

The Manners Of Seeking Permission To Enter Another Person’s Home, Room, Property, Or Any Private Space

Allah (Swt) said: “0 you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission” (Qur’an 24:27) And Allah (Swt) said: “0 you who believe! Let your legal slaves and slave-girls, and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty ask your permission (before they come to your presence)” (Qur’an 24:58) And Allah (Swt) said: “And when the children among you come to puberty, then let them (also) ask for permission” (Qur’an 24:59)

The Prophet (Pbuh) said, “Seeking permission [to enter another person’s private space] has been made compulsory only because of eyesight (i.e., only so that people do not see that which is unlawful for them to see, such as a stranger woman).” (Bukhaaree and Muslim)

The Islamic Manners Related To Asking Permission

1) The Sunnah Is To Greet First And Then Ask For Permission To Enter

Kaldah Ibn Hanbal related that Safwaan Ibn Umayyah sent him to the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) with milk, a baby gazelle, and (Egyptian) cucumbers; and at the time, the Prophet (Pbuh) was in the northern part of Makkah. Kaldah related, “I entered without having greeted [anyone inside]. And so the Prophet (Pbuh) said, ‘Go back and say: As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum.’ And this occurred after Safwaan Ibn Umayyah (R.A) had accepted Islam.” [Ahmad, 14999]

In another narration, Rib’ee Ibn ‘Aamir (R.A) related that a man from Banee ‘Aamir asked permission to enter the Prophet’s house, saying, “May I enter?” The Prophet (Pbuh) said to his servant, “Go out to this one and teach him how to ask permission. Say to him, ‘Say: ‘Assalaamu ‘Alaikum, may I enter?”[Ahmad, 22617]

Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) said, “Umar (R.A) asked permission [to enter into the presence] of the Prophet”_”„ saying, ‘As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum upon the Messenger of Allah; As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum. May ‘Umar enter?”‘[At-Tamheed, 3/202]

2) The Person Who is Seeking Permission Should Stand To The Right Or To The Left Of The Door, But Not Directly In Front Of It

This is so that he does not see something that is unlawful for him to see or something that the owner of the home would not like him to see. After all, seeking permission was legislated only because of sight. ‘Abdullah Ibn Yusr (R.A) said, “When the Prophet (Pbuh) would arrive at the door of people, he would not face the door directly, but rather [he would be] at its right or left corner. And he would say, ‘As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum, As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum,’ and that is because homes would not have covers over them in those days.” [Ahmad, 17239] Huzail (R.A) said, “A man came and stood at the door of the Prophet (Pbuh) seeking permission to enter. He stood before the door, directly facing it. The Prophet, said to him, “Like this or like this (perhaps indicating that he should stand to the right or to the left of the door, but not directly before it), for seeking permission is [legislated] for sight only.” [Abu Daawood, 5174]

3) It Is Forbidden For One To Look Into Someone’s Home Without His Permission

The Prophet (Pbuh) explained that the only reason why it is legislated to ask permission before entering the private space of someone is to prevent one from seeing that which is unlawful for him to see. Hence, if one transgresses and sees in another person’s home what is unlawful for him to see and if the owner of the home then plucks out his eye, there is no legal recourse for the victim, no lawful punishment or penalty for the attacker. This ruling is based on a Hadeeth that is related by Abu Hurairah (R.A) in which the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “When one looks inside of the home of people without their permission, it becomes permissible for them to gouge out his eye.” [Muslim, 2158]

And in another narration, Abu Hurairah (R.A) reported that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “Were a man to look at you [in your home or private property] without permission, and were you then to pelt him with pebbles and knock out his eye, there would be no sin upon you.” [Muslim, 2158]

And in yet another narration, Anas Ibn Maalik (R.A) reported that a man looked through [a hole or an opening of] one of the Prophet’s apartments, and so the Prophet (Pbuh) stood up to go to him with an arrowhead or with arrowheads. It was as if I saw the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) try to take him by surprise in order to stab him.” [Muslim, 2157]

4) You Should Seek Permission To Enter Three Times Only

If, after the third time, you are still not given permission to enter, you should return from whence you came. Abu Moosa Al-Ash’aree (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “If one of you asks permission [to enter the private property of another] three times without permission being granted to him, then he should return.” [Muslim, 2153]

Question: If, after asking permission to enter three times, one is still not given permission to enter, and if he thinks that those inside did not hear his voice, what should he do?

Answer: In order to apply the apparent meaning of the above-mentioned Hadeeth, he should leave; however, some scholars have said that he may continue to ask permission to enter until he becomes sure that his voice was heard. Maalik said, “Asking permission should be done three times only, and I do not love for anyone to increase upon that, except for one who knows that he was not heard, for I see no harm in him asking again if he was sure that his voice was not heard [by those inside].”

5) The One Who Is Asking Permission Should Not Answer With, “Me,” or, “It Is Me,” or, “It Is I,” When Someone Inside Asks, “Who Is It?”

To say “me” does not, in many instances, shed any light on a person’s identity; and the person inside is left in a state of vexation, not being able to pinpoint who exactly “me” is. This practice is disliked based on the Hadeeth of Jaabir (R.A) who said, “I went to the Prophet (Pbuh) for a debt that was upon my father. I knocked on the door, and he (Pbuh) said, ‘Who is there?’ I answered, `Me.’ He (Pbuh) said, `Me, me,’ in a way that showed his dislike of my answer.” [Muslim, 2155] It is, on the other hand, okay for the seeker of permission to say, ‘I am…’ and then his name. ‘Abdullah Ibn (son of) Buraidah (R.A) related that his father said, “The Prophet (Pbuh) left to go to the Masjid; meanwhile, Abu Moosa was reciting. He (Pbuh) said, ‘Who is this?‘ I said, ‘I am Buraidah; may I be made ransom for you.’ He (Pbuh) said, ‘This one has been given a flute (i.e., his voice) from the flutes of Daawood’s family.” [Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, 1087]

It is also okay for the seeker of permission to say, “I am Abu (the father of) so and so.” During the year of the Makkah Conquest, Umm Haanai (R.A) once went to the Prophet (Pbuh) and learned that he was taking a shower. His daughter, Faatimah (R.A) was holding up a cover to protect him from the view of others. Umm Haanai (R.A) later said, “Then I extended greetings of peace to him, and he said, ‘Who is this?’ I said, ‘I am Umm Haanai (the mother of Haanai) Bint (the daughter of) Abu Taalib’…”[Muslim, 336]

One may also say, “I am judge so and so,” or, “I am Shaikh so and so”; what matters is that one clearly conveys his identity without arousing confusion instead. Therefore, if the seeker of permission shares a name with another common acquaintance and since voice does not always clearly convey a person’s identity, he should remove all doubt, for instance, by saying his full name. One ‘Eid, after the Prophet (Pbuh) delivered a sermon to the women present during ‘Eid prayer, he returned home, and when he reached his home, Zainab, the wife of Ibn Mas’ood (R.A) asked permission to enter into his presence. It was said, “O Messenger of Allah, this is Zainab.” He (Pbuh)  said, “Which Zainab?” Then it was said, “The wife of Ibn Mas’ood.” And he (Pbuh) said, “Yes, give her permission to enter” [Bukhaaree, 1462] The proper etiquette, therefore, is to announce one’s presence, while clearly conveying one’s identity.

6) The Seeker Of Permission Should Not Violently Or Harshly Beat The Door

It is bad manners to do so, and to illustrate the proper etiquette in knocking on someone’s door, Anas Ibn Maalik (R.A) said, “Verily, the doors of the Prophet would be knocked upon with nails (of hands).”[Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, 1080] Commenting on this Hadeeth, Al-Haafidh Ibn Hajar said, “This is understood from them to be an exaggeration of good manners, and it is good to do this if it is known that the person inside is near the door. However, if it is known (or if it is likely) that he is far from the door, in which case the sound of knocking with one’s nails will not reach him, then it is recommended to knock more loudly, according to what is loud enough [for the person inside to hear].”[Fathul-Baaree, 11/38]

Al-Maimoonee related that when a woman once knocked harshly on the door of Abu ‘Abdullah, he went out and exclaimed, “That is the knocking of the police!”

7) If The Owner Of The Home Says To The One Seeking Permission, “Return,” Then He Should Return

Allah (Swt) said:“And if you are asked to go back, go back, for it is purer for you, and Allah is All-Knower of what you do” (Qur’an 24:28) One of the Muhaajireen said, “My entire life, I wanted to apply this verse, but I never was able to, for on no occasion did I knock on a brother’s door only to hear him say to me, ‘Return.’ Had anyone done that, I would have returned in a state of joy (joyful because he would have been able to apply the verse).”

8) If He Finds That No One Is Home, The Person That Is Asking For Permission To Enter Should Not Enter

To do so means that one is transgressing the rights of others, and this should be clear to every Muslim. One has no right to use someone else’s property without their permission, and this example falls under that ruling.

9) If One Is Invited Or If A Messenger Is Sent To Fetch Him, He Does Not Have To Ask Permission To Enter

An invitation and the sending of a messenger both imply permission, so the person that is sent for does not have to ask permission to enter. Abu Hurairah (R.A) related that the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “A man’s messenger sent to another man is his permission.” [Abu Daawood, 5189]

And in another narration related by Abu Hurairah (R.A) the Messenger of Allah (Pbuh) said, “When one of you is invited to a meal and he comes with the messenger (of the person who made the invitation), then that is considered as permission for him [to enter].” [Abu Daawood, 5190]

Some scholars have mentioned exceptions to this ruling: if the one invited comes after the time of the invitation or if he is going somewhere that customarily requires permission for admittance, then he should ask permission before entering.

10) When You Want To Leave A Gathering, You Should First Ask Permission

This etiquette is taken from the noble manners of the Prophet. As a visitor, you are required to ask permission before you enter; similarly, it is good manners in Islam to ask permission to leave. Perhaps the reason behind this etiquette is so that one’s eyes do not see in another person’s private property that which is not lawful for him to see or that which the host would not like him to see. Ibn ‘Umar reported that the Prophet (Pbuh) said, “If one of you visits his brother and sits with him, he must not stand until he asks him permission.“

In certain Arab countries today, people do not follow this prophetic guidance. You will find some of them leaving without asking permission first; worse even, some leave without extending greetings of peace to their host. These are practices that are certainly violations of Islamic manners.

11) Seeking Permission To Enter Into The Presence Of Your Mother, Sister, And Others Like Them

This is so that your eye does not see a private body part or a condition upon which women do not like for others to see them. ‘Ilqimah said, “A man went to ‘Abdullah (R.A) and said, ‘Should I seek permission to enter into the presence of my mother?’ He answered, ‘It is not at all times (or in all conditions) that she would love for you to see her.” [Bukhaaree, 1059] A man once asked Hudhaifah (R.A), “Should I seek permission to enter into the presence of my mother?” He said, “If you do not ask permission to enter into her presence, you will end up seeing that which she dislikes [for you to see].”[Bukhaaree, 1060]

‘Ataa related that he asked Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A), “Should I seek permission to enter into the presence of my sister?” Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) said, “Yes.” ‘Ataa asked again, saying, “I have two sisters in my apartment; I supply them with provisions and I spend on them. Should I [still] ask permission to enter into their presence?” He (R.A) said, “Yes, would you want to see them naked (i.e., that is what would happen if you constantly entered their private space without first asking permission to enter)!”[Bukhaaree, 1063]

12) Before Entering A Room That Is Occupied By Your Wife, Announce Your Presence

This is so that a husband does not end up seeing what he dislikes; in other words, by announcing his presence, he gives her a chance to freshen herself up. Also, the wife might not like for her husband to see her in a certain condition, so she should be given the chance to freshen up or do whatever she needs to do in order to neaten her appearance.

Ibn Mas’ood’s wife, Zainab (R.A) said, “When ‘Abdullah (R.A) would return from some errand, he would clear his throat and spit (to renounce his presence), not wanting to rush into our presence and see something he would dislike.”[Tafseer, 3/280] Imam Ahmad once said, ‘When one is about to enter into the presence of his family, he hould clear his throat (to announce his presence).” Mahnaa said, ‘I asked Ahmad about a man who enters his home – whether he hould ask permission to enter. He said, ‘He should move his shoes about when he is about to enter (i.e., to announce to those inside that he is about to enter).”

13) Let Legal Slaves And Slave-Girls, And Those Among You Who Have Not Come To The Age Of Puberty Ask Your Permission (Before They Come To Your Presence) On Three Occasions:

(1) Before Fajr (prayer);

(2) While you put off your clothes for the noonday (rest); and

3) after the ‘Isha prayer. (Qur’an 24:58)

Other than these times, they may move about freely. Ibn Katheer said, “When they enter at times other than these three, there is no sin upon them or you, if they see something [that they shouldn’t see]. This is because they have been given permission to enter freely and [because] they move about to serve and help…” Ibn Katheer then related the following narration from Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) two men asked Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) about seeking permission to enter into the presence of another during the three private times that Allah (Swt) specified in the Qur’an. Ibn ‘Abbaas (R.A) said, “…People did not have covers on their doors or curtains in their homes, so it might have happened that a servant or a child (in the house) or in orphan (in the house) would unexpectedly come into the presence of the house’s owner, while he was on top of his wife. And so Allah (Swt) ordered them to ask permission to enter during those three private times that He (Swt) mentioned. Later, Allah blessed people with much sustenance and provision, so that they were able to put up covers and curtains, which, people began to think, were sufficient, making them no longer need the asking of permission which they were commanded with.”[Ibn Katheer, 3/303]