On the authority of Abu Huraira (may Allah be pleased with him): A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said, “Advise me.” He [the Prophet (peace be upon him)] said, “Do not become angry.” The man repeated [his request] several times and he [the Prophet (peace be upon him)] said, “Do not become angry.” Recorded by al-Bukhari.
- “Do not become angry”
- How to Remove One’s Anger
- The Virtues of Forgiveness and Kindness
- Praiseworthy Anger
- Other Points Related to This Hadith
- Summary of the Hadith
General Comments about the Hadith: As shall be noted shortly, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was asked to advise someone. He was asked to give a brief, easy to remember advise. Not only that, he was repeatedly asked to give advice and he responded with the same advice each time. This aspect by itself should turn every Muslim’s attention to this hadith. What is the short, easy to remember advice that the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave and repeated three times? It would be expected that such advice is going to be far-reaching and very comprehensive. Indeed it was. According to some, anger is the key to every evil. Although that must be considered an exaggeration, there is no question that much evil has as its root anger.
Hence, the Prophet (peace be upon him) was showing a basic way to remain away from much evil. Al-Haitami states that one cannot count the amount of good this advice can bring about and the amount of evil that this advice can prevent. If one stops to think about how many problems anger brings about, between brothers, between husband and wife, between parents and children, one will realize the truth in what al-Haitami stated. For example, physical abuse and fisticuffs are often the result of anger. Cursing and abusing others is often the result of anger. Even a man divorcing his wife is often the result of anger only.
“Advise me”: In a narration in Sunan al-Tirmidhi, a man came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, “Teach me something that will not be heavy upon me so that I will be able to keep it and memorize it.” The Prophet (peace be upon him) told him, “Do not get angry.” Hence, this is a very short, easy to keep in mind advice. However, its importance is great. In fact, in the narration in al-Bukhari, it is clear that the person himself did not realize how comprehensive and far-reaching this advice is. For that reason, he kept asking the Prophet (peace be upon him) to advise him some more, as if what he stated was not enough. He was looking for more. Had he pondered the implications of what the Prophet (peace be upon him) had told him, he would have realized that the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave him a very comprehensive and important advice.
Some people say that the Prophet (peace be upon him) knew that the questioner used to get angry a lot and that is why the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave him this advice. 1 There is no need for such a supposition. If one truly understands the harm of anger, one will realize that the advice the Prophet (peace be upon him) gave that man is very important and far-reaching and applicable to all.
1. “Do not become angry”
There are three possible interpretations for this statement of the Prophet (peace be upon him). Two of these interpretations are based on the assumption that anger is something natural and beyond the control of human beings. Given that assumption, the Prophet (peace be upon him) is advising the person to do something that is not within his ability. Obviously, the Prophet (peace be upon him) and the shareeah as a whole would never request something of that nature. Therefore, one has to seek a different interpretation of what the Prophet (peace be upon him) said. These are given below.
Note that this advice of the Prophet (peace be upon him) is only concerning the blameworthy anger. There is such a thing as praiseworthy anger and that shall also be discussed below. There are also cases when anger is justified and one has the right to have his issue resolved. This would be the case, for example, when, according to the shareeah, a person’s rights have been violated.
The First View: The first interpretation of this hadith is that the Prophet (peace be upon him) is ordering the person to follow those means that will keep the person from getting angry. That is, a person should learn how to change his character and adopt the characteristics of generosity, kindness, calmness, modesty, patience, forbearing, forgiveness, easygoing nature and so forth. If a person adopts these qualities and he becomes used to such behavior, then he will be able to control his temper at the time he is about to get mad.
The Second View: The second view is that what the Prophet (peace be upon him) meant by that statement is that one should not act based on one’s anger or one should not act while angry. That is, if a person becomes angry, he should fight himself and not do the deed that his anger would lead him to do. This is similar to how Allah describes the Prophet Moses (peace be upon him) who did not act until his anger was over,
“And when the anger of Moses was appeased … ” (al-Araaf 1 54). Ibn Rajah states that if a person gets upset and his anger “tells” him to do something, but then he struggles against himself and repels what his anger is driving him to do, to the point that his anger might even go away, then it is as if he did not get angry in the first place. Hence, this is an apt description of what the Prophet (peace be upon him) was saying in this hadith when he said, “Do not get angry.”
There is no question that if a person does get angry he must do what he can to restrain himself from acting upon that anger. This type of behavior is also greatly praised in the shareeah. The Prophet (peace be upon him) once said, “The strong person is not the one who is strong in wrestling. But the strong person is the one who is able to restrain himself when he is angry.” (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
The Prophet (peace be upon him) also said, “Whoever restrains his anger while he has the ability to implement and act on it will be called by Allah from the head of the creation on the Day of Resurrection and Allah will then give him a choice of any of al-hoar al-ain that he wishes. “
The person who restrains his anger has fulfilled one of the characteristics of the people of ta.qwa and the true muhsineen (those who have ihsaan ). Allah has said in the Quran, “And be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord, and for Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious ( al-muttaqeen }- those who spend [for the sake of Allah] in prosperity and adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men. Verily, Allah, loves the good-doers (almuhsineen)” (ali-Imraan 133-134).
The Third View: Al-Baitaar has a much more literal understanding of the hadith. He says that when a person is about to get angry, he must remain patient, control himself, calm himself down and not get angry. He says that this is the meaning that comes to mind when one hears this advice of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The person should remain calm and he should handle the matter with wisdom and rationally.
This Author’s View: The presumption that anger is something natural and cannot be controlled must first be questioned. In the same way that a believer must think before he speaks, he must also think before he acts- and getting angry is one of his acts. As soon as the feeling of anger comes to him, he should ask himself, “Why am I getting angry? Is this really something worth getting angry over?” When he asks himself these questions, remembers Allah and thinks about the Hereafter, he will not get angry at all. Instead, he should remain calm. He will realize that the event is not anything worth getting angry about. There are much more important things. And by not getting angry, he is pleasing Allah.
In most cases, there is no need for a person to get angry. Anger is often exhibited in the most petty of occasions. People get angry when participating in sports. People get angry just because somebody has a differing opinion, even about what kind of potato salad is best. People get angry when they do not get their way, regardless of how trivial the matter might be. Spouses get angry with each other for very minor matters, such as when the wife bums a dinner. In all of these cases, is there truly any need to get angry? Is the issue so great that a person should get angry and ignore these words of advice from the Prophet (peace be upon him)? No, the issue is rarely, if ever, that great and, therefore, a rational person or a faithful person, would not get angry under these kinds of situation and this is exactly what the Prophet (peace be upon him) had advised the man to do.
Some people claim that it is in their nature to get angry often and they cannot do anything about it. Again, it seems that this is also not true. As ibn Rajah stated, a person can learn how to be calm, patient and forbearing. In reality, it is a matter of Imaan. It is a matter of increasing the aspects of Imaan in one’s heart. When this is done, anger shall leave. In fact, this author personally knows of cases where people before embracing Islam were very quick to get angry and then after embracing Islam they rarely ever got angry. This is because they now realize the insignificance of this world. This makes them realize that the things they used to get angry about are simply not worth getting angry over. This is especially true when viewed in comparison to the importance of the Hereafter and pleasing Allah by not getting angry.
One may argue that this is a difficult level to reach. Well, then, true and complete Imaan may be a difficult level to reach. It will only be reached by those who put the Hereafter first before this life. It will only be reached by those who put Allah’s commandments before the lust of their souls and their own egos. But it can be accomplished. If a person is sincere in reaching that goal, Allah will help him and guide him.
Therefore, this hadith can be understood literally. A person should not get angry. It can also be understood to mean that the person should take the steps that keep him from getting angry, which includes changing his character, if needed, and remaining away from the things that get him angry. And, finally, the hadith may also mean that one should not act upon one’s anger. All of these may be included in this general and comprehensive advice of the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him).
1.1 The Example of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
Perhaps the greatest example of controlling one’s anger and not getting angry can be found in the one who is the example par excellence for this Ummah, the Prophet (peace be upon him). The Prophet (peace be upon him) would never get angry or take revenge for his own personal interest. He never struck any servant or anyone, except while fighting for the sake of Allah.
Anas ibn Malik served the Prophet (peace be upon him) for ten years and the Prophet (peace be upon him) never once said to him, “Uff.” In fact, he never asked him, when he did something, “Why did you do that?” or “Why didn’t you do such and such.” When he would get angry, he would only get angry for the sake of Allah. However, he was very bashful. Whenever he saw anything he disliked, they would know his displeasure by the expression and color of his face. (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Once he distributed some wealth and a person said, “This distribution was not done for the sake of Allah,” the Prophet’s face became red but he (peace be upon him) simply said, “May Allah have mercy on Moses. Verily, he was harmed by more than this and he remained patient.” (Recorded by al Bukhari.)
2. How to Remove One’s Anger
The Prophet (peace be upon him) has given the advice not to get angry. Anger is still going to occur though. The Prophet (peace be upon him), by the grace and mercy of Allah, also showed the steps that one should follow when one does get angry. These steps may even bring an end to one’s anger or they will keep one’s anger from having any major damaging effect. One of the important points to realize is that Satan is very happy when a believer gets angry and that anger is not for the sake of Allah. He knows very well how much evil results from a person getting angry. Therefore, one of the keys to removing one’s anger or controlling oneself while one is angry is to seek refuge in Allah from the influence and effect of Satan. One time, a person reviled another in the presence of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The other man got very upset. The Prophet (peace be upon him) then said,
“I know a statement that if he were to say it, what he is experiencing would leave him. If he were to only say, ‘I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan.”‘ (Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.)
Allah knows best, but the position that one is in also affects how a person is going to act upon his anger. There are some positions that build up more energy and give one more of a chance to act. Hence, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If one of you gets angry while he is standing, he should then sit down. This should remove his anger from him. Otherwise, he should then lie down.” Some scholars understand this hadith to mean that in the sitting position one has less ability to fight or carry out an action in anger. A person even has less ability while lying down.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) also gave another very important command to the one who is angry. When one is angry, he usually makes the situation worse by the words that come out of his mouth while in a state of anger. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “If one of you becomes angry, he should be silent.”
Finally, there is yet another hadith. Al-Albani and other modern day scholars have declared this hadith to be weak. Shuaib al-Arnaoot, on the other hand, has declared its chain to be hasan. Allah knows best. This hadith states, “Verily, anger is from Satan. And, surely, Satan was created from fire. And only water puts out fire. Therefore, if one of you gets angry, he should make ablution.” (Recorded by Ahmad and Abu Dawood.)
3. The Virtues of Forgiveness and Kindness
In many cases, the source of one’s anger is somebody else’s wrongdoing or mistake in behavior. The person who is about to get angry must realize that everyone is apt to make mistakes or do something wrong, including himself. Therefore, one approach to such occurrences is, in essence, the antithesis to anger: forgiveness and kindness.
When a Muslim realizes the importance and great virtue of these characteristics, he should work to develop them within himself. When he becomes someone who is forgiving, kind and calm, he will probably find very few circumstances in which anger will overtake him. The Quran guides people to being forgiving and even to give up some of their rights on behalf of others. For example, Allah has said, “Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good and tum away from the foolish” (alAraaf 199).
Allah also said when describing the believers, “And those who, when an oppressive wrong is done to them, take revenge. The recompense for an evil is an evil like thereof. But whoever forgives and makes reconciliation will have his reward with Allah. He [Allah] does not like the wrongdoers” (al-Shoora 39-40).
“Allah does not like that evil should be uttered in public except by him who
has been wronged. And verily Allah is ever all-hearing, all-knowing. Whether you disclose a good deed or conceal it or if you forgive a wrong, verily Allah is ever oft-pardoning, all-powerful” (al-Nisaa 148-149).
Allah praises those who restrain their anger and also forgive others. Allah has said, “And head toward the way of forgiveness from your Lord and for Paradise as wide as are the heavens and the earth, prepared for the pious, those who spend [for the sake of Allah] in prosperity and adversity, who repress anger, and who forgive the people. Verily, Allah loves the doers of good” (ali-Imraan 133- 134).
4. Praiseworthy Anger
With respect to anger, people have a tendency to go to extremes– and, as in almost all cases, both extremes are wrong. Some people get angry over the pettiest matters for which there is no call for a Muslim to get angry about. On the other hand, others do not get angry when there is a real reason for anger, a reason that is sanctioned by shareeah. These people do not seem to realize that not all anger is blameworthy. There is some anger that is
praiseworthy. A person is not always supposed to be loving and accepting no matter what occurs. Allah says in the Quran,
“O Prophet, strive against the disbelievers and the hypocrites and be harsh with them. Their abode is the Hell-fire and worst indeed is that destination” (alTaubah 73).
This praiseworthy anger is the anger that is for the sake of Allah. This is the anger that comes about when Allah’s teachings are ignored or treated with disdain. In fact, if a person has true belief, he must demonstrate this anger. It is inconceivable that a person could witness the words of Allah being ignored, sometimes even ridiculed, and he feels nothing inside. This would truly be a sign of a diseased heart. On this point, there is a hadith in which the Prophet (peace be upon him) told Abu Dharr that the strongest bond of faith is: “Having loyalty for the sake of Allah, disassociating from others for the sake of Allah, love for the sake of Allah and hatred for the sake of Allah.”
However, some people seem to think that this is how Muslims should be: If someone sees something wrong in the mosque, he should just accept it in the name of brotherhood. If someone sees the sunnah being ignored and heresies being practiced, he should be accepting. But this approach is definitely wrong. This was not the approach of the Prophet (peace be upon him). The Prophet (peace be upon him) never got upset for any personal motives but if the laws of Allah were being violated, then he would get upset.
One time the Prophet (peace be upon him) came to Aisha’s apartment and she had a sheet that had pictures on it. The Prophet’s face changed color due to his anger and he grabbed the sheet and tore it apart. He said that the people who made those pictures would have the greatest punishment on the Day of Judgment.
Unfortunately, many people deal with anger in exactly the opposite of the proper manner. They get upset if anything touches them personally, this is when a person should restrain his anger. By doing so, he will please Allah. These same people do not get upset when the laws of Allah are violated. They do not get angry when they see forbidden acts or if they hear things that go clearly against the Quran and sunnah, such as heretical views and so forth. By getting angry for those matters, one will also please Allah. Anyone who behaves in this fashion must realize that the way he is behaving is the reverse of the correct and proper situation.
If, from the shareeah point of view, a person’s rights are violated or he is wronged, he then has the right to get angry. He has the right to attempt to rectify that situation. However, during that time he does not have the right to do forbidden acts, such as cursing others, simply out of anger.
5. Other Points Related to This Hadith
(1) As stated above, the Prophet (peace be upon him) said that when one gets angry, he should remain silent. This demonstrates that an angry person is still responsible for his deeds. What he does and what he says while angry will be held against him. If he damages someone else’s property, he will be held responsible for that. If he divorces his wife while in a state of anger, that is a true and legal divorce. This has been the clearly expressed opinion of ibn Abbaas and Aisha. And there is no question that it is the correct opinion: a divorce stated while in anger is still a legal divorce with all of its necessary ramifications.
Al-Hasan al-Basri once stated, “There are four characteristics that if one possesses them, Allah protects him from Satan and forbids him from the fire. [These four are found in] the one who controls himself while in a state of craving, fearing, desiring [or lusting] and being angry.” lbn Rajab states that those four are the path to every evil. When a person craves something, he believes that that thing is beneficial for him and he wants it. However, he begins to want it by any means. He even begins to disregard whether the means he is following to achieve that goal are permissible or forbidden.
Indeed, if a person truly wants to achieve or attain something, he should tum to Allah and ask Allah for help– instead of ignoring Allah’s laws and seeking the goal by any means. When a person fears something, such as poverty or losing a job, he often time seeks any means to flee from it and protect himself from it. He may even lie and cheat to protect himself from what he fears. So the means that he follows are forbidden means.
Again, he should once again turn to Allah and ask Allah to protect him from any harm. That will be the best for him in both this life and the Hereafter. When a person desires or lusts after something, he gets great joy and pleasure from it. For many people, these acts are the forbidden acts, such as fornication, consuming alcohol and even polytheism. If the person cannot control those desires, he goes directly to the forbidden acts. Finally, when one is angry and does not try to control himself when he is angry, his anger leads him to acts that are not permissible. It leads him to physically or verbally harming others. Hence, as ibn Rajah stated, these four aspects described by al-Hasan are truly the roads to every evil.
(2) The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to make the following supplication, “I ask You for truthful speech during [times of] pleasure and anger.” This is an important supplication of the Prophet (peace be upon him). When people get angry, it is very difficult for them to control their tongue. Many times they will even lie simply out of anger. Hence, the Prophet (peace be upon him) made this supplication and his followers should do so also.
(3) In general, a person is afflicted with anger often when he possesses nonIslamic qualities. Pride, arrogance, stubbornness, joking around, mutual ridiculing, competition over wealth or authority in this world, refusal to submit to the truth are some of the most common causes that needlessly lead people to get angry and upset. Hence, getting angry often may be a clear sign that one’s heart is diseased and one’s Imaan is not in the state that it should be in. The person who finds himself getting angry often should consider this fact and try to find what really causes him to get so angry. He may find that it is some disease that he has in his heart. Allah willing, when he notices that and then works to remove his disease, his problem with anger will also be removed.
For example, if pride or arrogance is the source of his problem, he should try to understand who he really is and become more humble toward Allah and, therefore, toward Allah’s creatures. If he finds that he gets angry due to sitting around with others and joking with or ridiculing each other, he should try to spend his time on more important pursuits or with people who are not into such bad habits. If his anger is due to competition over material things or authority, he should make himself realize that all of those things are actually according to the decree of Allah and whatever Allah has decreed is according to His wisdom and divine plan.
(4) Keeping in mind the great negative effects that anger leads to should help one control his anger and make him do something about his problem with anger. Al-Qaasimi points out that one of the end results of anger, when it is not quelled or put under control, is rancor and hatred between people or alhiqd. This may lead to a great deal of other sins, such as envy in which one hates for the other to have any good, cutting off ties of friendship or brotherhood, speaking evil about the other or backbiting the other, ridiculing or making fun of the other, injuring the other in some manner or refusing to give the other his due right, for example, if he owes him some money or he is deserving of charity and so forth. If a person allows his anger to get to this level, it means that his anger has been the cause of a number of sins and, eventually, Allah’s anger. If he keeps himself from getting angry, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) advised his companion in this hadith, he may save himself from all of these possible sins.
6. Summary of the Hadith
• A Muslim must realize the petty nature of most of the things that he gets angry about. He must weigh getting angry with pleasing Allah. This will keep him from getting angry, Allah willing.
• A Muslim must remain away from those things that usually lead him to get angry.
• A Muslim must not act upon his anger when he gets angry. Instead, he should follow those means that will extinguish his anger.
Books of Muslims 